Grappling with Life

Change is good

2011-05-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

The decision to change academies was definitely the right one for me. Now that I am back to training, I actually enjoy it again. It has been a very long time since I have felt that passion for training that we all know. Like I said before, I loved my old academy but it just didn't fit me. I think my style, my personality fits much better where I am now.

I think that I have progressed in my game more in the past few weeks of training there than I had in the last two years (albeit I have had a lot of time off the mats) at my old academy. I am finally getting the attention, encouragement and correction I need to progress. I am starting to get confident with the things I do well and that is allowing me to feel comfortable enough to reach out and expand my game, trying things I would normally never try. I played spider guard with a behemoth of a guy the other day and actually did very well, stifled his pass attempts and managed to sweep. Trust me, that never happened with my game, until then.

Being back on the mats has taken a bit of a toll on the body. Seems that my skeleton isn't used to the extremes we put ourselves thru in training. I aggravated a long time hip injury and just a few days after I hurt my shoulder when I let an Americana go too long before escaping. The funny part was my shoulder felt fine. Until the next morning. I was in agony, had to wear a splint for two days.

Don't worry. I think that I am beginning to acclimate pretty well. I have already seen huge gains in my cardio and strength. Plus, as an added bonus, I have dropped about half the weight I brought back with me from Louisiana. My gi pants are getting baggy and I'm finding myself fitting into things I have not been able to squeeze into for over a year. Too bad styles change. Oh well.

I'm very excited to be back in it again. And to top it off, the Mundials are just around the corner. I didn't get to go last year because I was out of state, but this time I will be there on Saturday and Sunday to soak up all the action and root for some friends competing..

Now that I'm back, its time to update my goals for the rest of the year, update some of my other information, and get myself back in the rhythm of writing about all this madness we love.

I'm Back

2011-05-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

It has been so very long, the phrase "where do I begin?" seems to dwarf in comparison to all that I have to tell. In my absence from posting, and my absence from training for that matter, my life has changed dramatically and I am finally finding that "normal" again.

Let's see. My last post was about the Braulio Estima seminar I attended in February of last year. Yes, that's over a year without a post. Without a whisper, without really training at all. So, what happened in that year? Where did I go? What could have posessed my soul so deeply that I was unable to train? Who is asking? Well, since you are reading, I'll take it that you are asking. And, since we are such good friends, I will fill you in.

I did train again after that Braulio seminar. It took about a month or so for the back pain to subside. It was miserable. If you have the chance to opt out of a pinched nerve in your back, I'd recomend doing so. When I finally got over the pain I attended yet another seminar. This time at my (then) home academy. The seminar was held by Samuel Braga.

Samuel was one of my original instructors in BJJ, when our gym was Gracie Barra in Lancaster California. Since then he has moved on and has opened his own academy in Tennesee. If you are having difficulty in placing who Samuel Braga is, look back to the 2009 Mundials. In the featherweight finals agains Guiherme Mendes, Samuel performed the "shove heard round the world" when he took exception to the Atos team member performing their trademark sword gesture after the win. This momentary lapse in sportsmanship is not indicitive of the man I know, of the instructor who taught me. Yet, I digress. The seminar was incredible and it also marked my last bit of training in California, until two days ago.

You see, my company (a large, areospace and defense contractor) has a location in Lake Charles Louisiana. This location had taken on a contract that they were not prepared to perform on. As a result myself and several others from all over the corperation were sent there to help get things in order. What was supposed to be just up to 90 days of work turned into almost an entire year. So what could have happened in that year away from home you ask? Well be patient. It's coming.

During this time, my marriage came to an end. Not because of the distance. You see, the relationship died long before I was sent away. I think it was the time we spent living independently that made us both realize that whatever we had, ended long ago.

Not one to dwell, and being ever so lucky, I found someone in Louisiana that I have grown to love so very much. I have never ben a believer in fate or destiny, but meeting this girl has made me start to question that. Sometimes we need to take the longest road to reach our destination; that way we truly appreciate it when we get there. And I sure do appreciate it.

I also discovered that while working in an unfamiliar town (that only has one BJJ school) it becomes difficult to perform at work, rebuild a life after divorce, find yourself again, and fall in love all at the same time. Add training into the mix and it becomes downright impossible. The school in Lake Charles was a nice place, full of good guys. I managed to get there about 3 or 4 times in the last year. I never quite felt at home there but I still value the time I spent there. So, Lake Area BJJ I salute you. Thank you for your hospitility!!! Truly a bunch of southern gentlemen.

I had fallen in love so much with the region that I was wanting to go native. I planned on starting my new life there. In fact I was in talks with my company to make that happen when it finally arose that they cannot afford me. And so, back to Cali I came. That was in February. So, after a few months of false starts, I have finally gotten into a rhythm and things are starting to go right.

Now that I am back, I have also changed academies. I had no real problems at my original school. In fact, I love my instructors and training partners there, but for some reason I just never really fit there. I had a great instructor and a great group of guys but it just didn't fit my personality. It was a very hard thing to make that change, but once I decided and realized that the move was what was best for me, it was very easy.

More to come on all that soon. For now, it is so very good to be back in it! See you on the mats!

Braulio, Bad Weather and Backaches

2010-02-08T11:05:00.000-08:00

(2/5/10 6:00pm) Braulio Estima Seminar at Gracie Barra Huntington Beach

We have all heard the stories. Insert grizzled old man here describing the treacherous trek back and forth to school every day; uphill, both ways, in the snow, without shoes. Point being, they had it so very bad so how dare you complain about your own little inconveniences in this rather comfortable age in which we live. Well buckle in youngsters, cause I got a whopper (no not from Burger King....mmmm burgers).

On Friday night I attended a seminar put on by Braulio Estima. In case you don’t know who that is; he is an awesome BJJ competitor and won the ADCC last year. But we’ll get to him and the seminar later. I need to talk about the drive down.

I live in Palmdale California and the seminar was in Huntington Beach. According to MapQuest, to get to GBHB its 97.95 miles one way, so I am going to round to 100. It’s my story, if I want to take liberty with 2.05 miles I will.

Not only was it 100miles, it was 100miles with more than half of it on the 405. Anyone familiar with LA traffic knows that the 405 is a special little slice of hell. I refer to it as the world’s longest parking lot.

So, not only was it 100miles, it was 100 miles with more than half on the 405, and it was a Friday afternoon, when everyone and their uncle is either escaping to or away from the city.

Did I mention that it was raining? It was. So it was 100 miles, down the 405, on a Friday afternoon, in the rain. Beat that gramps! Yeah, that’s what I thought. You got nothin! MapQuest tells me that it should take 1 hour and 46 minutes. That is optimistic without the weather being a factor. So let’s do math, I left at 2:30pm and I arrived at the academy at 5:45, just before the scheduled 6:00pm start time. I will subtract 15 minutes for the quick stop I made into Jiu-Jitsu Progear and that puts my total, one way time at 3 hours. Yes, not a typo, 3 hours.

What could be worth spending 3 hours sitting in LA traffic, on the 405, on a Friday afternoon, in the rain? That’s easy, Braulio Estima. Braulio is a Gracie Barra black belt with more accolades than I can mention. Perhaps the most significant, recent, feat of his was his winning the ADCC Absolute last year. Beyond that, he is such a nice guy.

I won’t go into specifics about what we covered because I think people need to go see Braulio when they can and learn from the source. His seminar dealt with working in the guard primarily. I am always looking to fortify my guard game so this was great for me. We took good notes while there so that we would be able to remember the techniques we learned as well as the overall strategies that he gave us. Braulio has a unique way of looking at positions and submissions that I have never thought of but it makes so much sense once you hear it.

His enthusiasm for teaching and sharing his knowledge is so apparent. He genuinely enjoys helping everyone in the class learn something new. We counted 51 people on the mats and though there was zero extra mat space, he made it feel like a small group of friends. Braulio made a point to personally check up on everyone and it felt like one big private lesson.

I have to give some thanks to Professor Filipe “Jerry” Oliveira. He made us feel welcome and at home in a strange academy. He treated those of us from different academies as long time friends and was so very helpful. In fact, everyone at his academy treated us very well, so a big thank you to them.

Ok, so now the dark lining on this big shiny silver cloud. Somewhere during drilling techniques I managed to hurt my lower back. I have no idea how it happened. I was working with Dr. Evil and all of a sudden there was a little pain. That pain began to escalate and by the time we left it was horrible. I made the drive home (two hours this time) and got home at 12:30am.

I tried to get some rest but I could not get comfortable. I managed to get myself out of bed and in agony I drove to the urgent care at 5:00am. The doc there gave me a shot in the muscles in my back and sent me home with a prescription for Flexeril. All day Saturday I wrestled with the pain and tried to rest it as much as I could. Sunday was just as bad, if not worse. There were times that I thought I had broken my back it hurt so bad. I went back to the urgent care, during the Superbowl. This time they took x-rays and luckily they were clean. The doc said it could be a minor burst or slipped disk. Hopefully it’s just a pinched nerve or something. As I write this, it’s Monday and I am still in a great deal of pain. I will keep up my meds and hopefully whip this thing into submission soon. I hate how much I have been off the mats already this year and I don’t need another setback. Fingers crossed it’s just a pinched nerve or something and I can get back on the mats soon.

Bottom Line, if Braulio comes to an academy near you, pay the fee, make the drive and enjoy a fantastic BJJ experience with one of the most talented and nicest guys out there. He is making his way around the states so be on the lookout.

Rehab, Retention and Repetition

2010-01-26T12:09:00.000-08:00

(1/25/10 6:30pm) BJJ

One of the odd things about training in a gym that has yet to open is the fact that most every night is like open mat. For me this proved to be a very good thing as I am still nursing my shoulder and back…back to health. The pain all day had been very mild which was a welcome change. For days it has felt as though the muscles in my back had gotten shorter and like someone had shoved a small rock underneath my shoulder blade. So, to whoever it was that shoved a rock in there…..a very sarcastic Thank You!

As far as training; I found someone else who just wanted to go light and we worked on drilling a few specific techniques. Armbar from mount, a neat side control kimura set-up from Braulio’s Invisible Jiu-Jitsu, and as always I worked on my guard retention.

After enough reps we moved on to specific training. I put myself into bad situations (mostly under side control) and worked to get back to guard or to reverse completely and end up on top all the while my opponent tried to pass to mount or submit. I forced myself to try a few different escapes. In live rolling I typically rely on the upa-shrimp-up to knees and shoot for a single leg. That escape has served me well but from time to time I am against people who can greatly out-wrestle me and I typically end up losing any advantage and end up back where I started. So for this session I really tried to work on getting to half guard and getting back to full guard.

I had a great deal of success with getting back to guard and I think that now I will be more apt to do the same in live sparring when against a formidable wrestler (of which we have many). Now I am not discounting the fact that I need serious help with my wrestling. If I happen to find that one gem in the rough that is smaller than me with even less wrestling skill I end up doing well. But most of the time I end up working from a bad position. I guess that should be another goal for this year, to improve my wrestling / judo.

When I got home my shoulder started to talk to me again. I dosed up, hit the sack and this morning it feels much better. I am debating between doing jits again tonight and risk aggravating it or to just hit 24 Hour Fitness with my temporary pass and just work cardio and such to save my shoulder. Decisions decisions.

Feeling Un-Awesome

2010-01-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

Ok, so far this year has not quite gotten off to the start I wanted it to. I started out with some kind of cold that just would not go away. Then I developed a pain in my shoulder / back that just continued to get worse and worse. Once the cold subsided and my shoulder was just unbearable, I decided to go to the urgent care to make sure nothing was seriously wrong. The doc took x-rays and thankfully they looked normal. He told me it is probably a spasm underneath the shoulder blade that is causing all the muscles around it to tighten up and guard it, thereby perpetuating more pain. It’s a vicious cycle. He prescribed Vicodin and Flexeril. The Vicodin is for the pain and Flexeril to relax the muscles. Cool. A few doses of these over the next few days should do the trick.

So I got home from the doctor on Tuesday night, popped my new pills, had dinner and went off to bed. It would seem as though two prescriptions were not all I got from seeing the doctor as I awoke at 0100 racing to the bathroom to vomit. I felt horrible. Then I performed encores at 0200 and 0330. Needless to say that was a miserable night. All day Wednesday I was in agony. I alternated between the sofa and the bed all day, trying to find some relief. I tried to keep my fluids up but it just was not working. I wasn’t even able to eat but a few spoonfuls of the chicken soup my wife made me. It seems as though I picked up some kind of bug at the urgent care that wanted to see me suffer for 24 hours.

This morning I am feeling 1000% better. I still have absolutely zero energy so I know I won’t train again tonight. My shoulder is still killing me so I am planning to get some real food in me and to resume taking those meds to hopefully heal it up. If I am going to miss training it might as well be to heal up so I can get back to healthy. I have not had one single week of being totally healthy at all this year. I can’t wait for that to happen! Mentally I am ready to conquer the world, physically…not so much.

So that is the scoop for now. I am sure that by the end of this month I will be back to 100% and will be able to get back on the path to world domination.

Lets Get This Party Started Right

2010-01-17T17:55:00.000-08:00

Goal Setting (1/17/2010)

Ok, it’s the end of the second week of 2010. Really, 2010? We have only had two weeks in this New Year and already there is so much to report. It has been a busy year thus far and this is the first real chance I have had to be able to sit down and put virtual pen to virtual paper. Since this is my first post of the New Year and I have had some time to reflect I guess it is time to announce my goals to the community.

Recap of 2009:

January started off like I had hoped and expected. There was a lot of BJJ going on until I went back to work and then naturally it began to curtail as the grind resumed. Still, I was optimistic and feeling improvements for the first time in a long time. It might just be a good year.

Then in February I suffered two strokes within 24 hours. Those were strokes 4 and 5 respectively in my relatively short life. To my friends under 30, shut up. I’m still young…ish. Anyway, these strokes landed me in the hospital and shaped the rest of my year.

While in the hospital, I was diagnosed with a PFO, a hole in my heart that allows small clots, less oxygenated blood and other nasties to circumvent the normal filtering process and loop straight to my brain. Yeah, it’s as crappy as it sounds. Well at the end of April I had heart surgery. I was free to return to action in the gym around July. Needless to say, six months of NOTHING really took a toll.

I spent many a night in the fitness kickboxing class to rebuild cardio and strength. That was a long, tedious and sometimes frustrating process. I felt a great sense of accomplishment after each session and now I am so very glad I did it. I can really feel the difference and I know it has helped me to lay a foundation for this year.

I did do more and more BJJ toward the end of the year and I even got my second stripe. Finally. I have been training off and on since October 2007 and I am a two stripe white belt. I am not complaining, just stating the fact. During all that time I have had strokes and other medical problems keep me off the mats for long periods of time. I am so very optimistic that 2010 represents the first year ever in which I will have no substantial interruptions in training so I can get where I should be.

So with all the off the mat stuff in mind, lets take a look at the goals I set for 2009 and assess where I have made progress and where I have not. My comments as of now are in blue following the asterisks.

2009 Goals:

Become a better BJJ player (Easy one eh?) *I think I did this one despite the odds
Train more consistently *This one was impossible because of all my medical drama
Attend minimum of 3 classes/week *As was this one
Attend Open Mat more frequently (it rocks) *I did attend more sessions when I could
Improve my guard game *This I fear was a point of regression
Make the Triangle my go-to submission *Also one I was unable to work on
Improve my conditioning *After 6 months off the mats and then 6 months of work; I feel that I am now better than ever
Fitness kickboxing classes *I did a ton of these to recover and rebuild my cardio. It worked
More cycling (Mountain / Road) *Only made it on a few road rides and NO mountain rides
• Keep my head in the “right” place *I think the time off helped my mental game. I don’t freeze nearly as bad anymore.
Get more photos during training *Not a single one
Write more *I did write more, most though was chronicling my heart condition and surgery

So now that last year is over and all the medical stories have gone by the wayside I can take a look forward. I didn’t want to overanalyze my goals for this year I just want to take it as it comes and enjoy being able to train and train hard. So, with all that in mind, here are my goals for this year.

2010 Goals:

Continue to Work on my Guard
Work Hard Enough to Deserve Promotions

Third Stripe
Forth Stripe
Blue Belt

Train BJJ 3 Times/week (Minimum of 156 Sessions in 2010)
Strength and Conditioning 4 Times / Week (Minimum of 208 Sessions in 2010)
Visit and Train at 4 Other BJJ Schools
Write More; 2 Posts / Week (Minimum of 104 Posts in 2010)

I think this is a doable list. In fact, I hope to add to it as the year progresses. Since this will be my first uninterrupted year of training, I don’t want to create a laundry list of unattainable items nor do I want to box myself in with a gaggle of restrictive goals. This is BJJ, we are supposed to be able to just flow right?

Now, keep me honest community. Hold me to the fire and help me attain these goals, help me to grow as a BJJ player and help me to grow this fantastic endeavor that has us all in its spell.

*PS: My original Professor, Kazeka Muniz is opening a new gym in Palmdale and I have left Fight Factory to train with him. The new facility will be as amazing as his instruction. So, if you ever find yourself in Palmdale California, stop by Premium Fitness and take a look.

2 Hours and 5 Rolls

2009-11-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

(11/3/09 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing
(11/3/09 6:00pm) BJJ

Kickboxing:

Renee taught the class again tonight. And again, the "warm-ups" were rough. We started off with what I think were 50 squats before we started jogging. The warm-up period is always difficult and leaves me doubting that I will be able to push thru and finish. Particularly when we do sprints down the long sides with shuffles around the short ends. That little delight feels like it lasts for an hour and a half but I am willing to bet it is only like two minutes.

We worked some different combinations on the heavy bags tonight, which was a nice change. Over the past few weeks my left hook has been getting pretty strong and tonight we worked hooks on both sides and now my right seems to be catching up.

The end of the class was pretty mild as compared to normal. The ab work, though a lot of reps, was not too extreme and only included a handful of the normal torturous exercises. At the conclusion I went to the locker room to change and get ready for Jits.

BJJ

I hit the mats just as the warm ups were hitting the to-the-wall and back phase. I looked around, saw Dr. Evil but someone was conspicuously missing. Where the hell is Neil. Ok enough of a jab at him for not showing up. I hope the Big Mac was worth it buddy!

We drilled a spider-guard pass. For this one, we gripped the pants, on the inside, shook off their foot-to-biceps control one arm at a time. You then drive one leg to the ground, never letting it go till you obtain stable side control. With the other hand you shoot under the free leg, drive your head to their thigh and reach back grabbing the belt to prevent escape. You then walk around, passing the trapt leg and establish side control. This was pretty nifty and I actually pulled it off twice in rolling. That is great for me because I typically suck at getting past spider.

Rolling:

My first round was with Paul, a big guy tipping the scales at 240+. Big, strong guy. I did pretty well against him. To my surprise, I was able to negate a lot of his strength. I even got to mount and threatened a choke by the end of the round.

Second round was with Dr. Evil. As always we had a see-saw battle. The first half I was in control and even caught him with a wrist lock from on top in side control. But then, I started to gas. As he later pointed out to me, this was like minute 116 of training for me so it is understandable. We finished out the round with him taking my back.

Third round was with Sarge (Ruben). Traditionally Sarge would always take my back right off the bat. This time though I did pretty well with my wrestling and even managed to win an exchange. Sarge is very strong and surviving his constant onslaught felt good.

Fourth was with Ian, our resident phenom. He would instantly trip me up with his slick spider-guard entries and I would be on defense from the start. He choked me from various positions in many different ways. At the end of the round he said something that I am going to try to remember. He said that when being attacked, you need to respond right away; when attacking, you can take your time and wait for openings. On defense I tend to wait for small mistakes or opportunities and sometimes I get too patient till I don't have anywhere to go any longer. So thanks for the advice Ian.

Fifth round was back with Paul. I was doing well again till I missed on a guard pass, got caught in an oma plata sweep attempt and rolled into the wall. Once trapt I was pretty well stacked and with his weight bearing down, I felt something in my left ribs pop. I verbally tapped and sat out the rest of that round (about a minute). The rib is just fine now, but at the time it really took my breath away.

Great night of training. I seemed to hold up pretty well with the double work-out. Just need to keep it going.

Death to the Fat Kid

2009-11-03T10:45:00.000-08:00

No offense to any actual fat kids out there. I am not talking about you. This post is about me personally and is not intended to portray any other fat kids real or fictional.

About one year ago I wrote a post in which I talked about having lost 30 pounds (195 to 165) and that I was 15 pounds from my goal of 150 (http://grappling-with-life.blogspot.com/2008/11/changing-weight-classes.html). Since that time I have had some...challenges. I had a couple of strokes at the beginning of this year that kept me off the mats, followed by the diagnosis and surgery to repair a hole in my heart.

All in all the first half of the year was shot from an exercise perspective. I was not allowed to do anything but normal life minus exercise. That was pretty difficult for me but hey, it is what I needed to do in order to make sure I would be alright for a long time to come. So I followed doctors orders and in the process lost focus on my eating habits. Lets see, no exercise and eating too much, not a good combination. Lets just say that I backslid a bit.

I was down to around 165 last November and now I find myself at 178.4lbs a gain of 13-14 pounds. When I look at it in that perspective, 6 months of nothing and only a 14 pound gain, its not too bad. Only 2.5ish pounds a month. Needless to say I still want to reach my goal. I want to get down to my original planed weight of 150 and I am motivated to do so.

I have added a weight tracker to the right hand side of my blogs homepage. I will keep track on a weekly (at least) basis of my current weight and body fat percentage. My first post in there is:

Weight: 178.4
Body Fat %: 21.5

I am hoping that having it out there in front of me and in the eyes of everyone who reads this will help to keep me marching toward my goal. My biggest problem as of late has been my food choices. I have been eating out tooooo much and enjoying large portions of the wrong foods. I love you ice cream and I will miss spending as much time with you.

Bottom line, I need an accountability system and this is the right venue. Reporting progress or lack there of is a heck of a motivator for me. So I ask your help. Keep me honest and if you see me eating crap, call me on it. Help me kill the fat kid once and for all.

Kicking Off The Week On Tired Legs

2009-11-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

(11/2/09 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing

I started this session with quite a bit of apprehension. I totally expected for my legs to barely work if they worked at all. Yesterday was the now fabled 50 mile road ride so I knew that I would just be spent.

I was surprised all day that I was not really sore at all. I had a little bit in my legs but my shoulders and arms bore the brunt of my residual soreness; what there was. I guess that ice bath really did help. Thanks interweb for all those videos of folks like Wand and Tito dunking themselves into freezing cold water after a workout. Finally something useful pulled off the idiot box (other than this blog of course).

We did basically the exact same workout as all of the sessions I attended last week. Starting off with 110 squats before we even started the normal"warm-up" phase. I started feeling it in my legs around squat #30, but I pressed on and completed the entire workout as normal.

Unlike Saturday morning, at the end of class I was able to prop myself up without collapsing into a heap on the mats. Progress. Tonight I actually felt as though I started to turn a corner and that I am in fact getting a bit fitter. It has been a long while of plateaus, road blocks and uncertainty about my heart. Now though, I think it is all starting to come together. So a big thanks to everyone who has helped me along the way to get to this point and thanks in advance for helping me to see it thru.

On the Road Again....and Again, and Again

2009-11-01T19:22:00.000-08:00

(11/1/09) Road Cycling
*I normally don't list my cycling workouts here but this one is special.

Sunday. Normally this time of year Sundays are for sleeping in and watching football. Not this Sunday. I was up at 0600 (would have been 0700 but my phone didn’t auto update with the stupid time change) and getting ready for a ride on my road bike with my neighbor Greg. We had been talking about going mountain biking together for just about as long as I have lived there (4 years now) but as of yet had not. On Halloween evening as my wife and I were sitting outside waiting for kids, Greg and his wife were doing the same. We got to talking and he suggested a road ride and for once, I had nothing else on the docket so I eagerly said yes.

Greg said we could take a normal route of his, do an out and back. Now I already knew that Greg was in much better shape and that he would be kicking my ass on the ride. What I did not count on was just how destroyed I was from Renee’s beatings at the gym all week. When I left the gym on Saturday I could barely walk or hold my arms up due to totally fatigue. So that was the state I was in prior to this ride.

We started out at 0800. I was on my slick little road bike and Greg was plugging along on his mountain bike. All was well until we hit the first little climb on Godde hill road (it is a big, steep, up and over) and that is when all the leg work from the week hit me. Lactic acid was flowing and I could not shake it. Greg pressed on and waited for me at the ends of various sections. I was dying the entire time but I pressed on and made it. I am very proud of that ride.

Here is the box score:

Total Distance: 50 miles (yes really….50!)
Total Time: 3.5 hours
Total Elevation change (climbing): 3,000’

That was pretty rough. When I got home I was physically spent and sunburned. I did the old fighter ice bath trick to try and alleviate the inflammation in my legs and lower back. Basically I filled the tub with cold water and Ice and sat inside. I sat there for 3-4 minutes. Believe it or not but I think it helped. I expected to be worse for wear today and instead I feel fine…..relatively. We’ll see how I feel after tomorrow night's workout!

Earn That Candy

2009-10-31T19:12:00.000-07:00

(10/31/09 9:30am) Fitness Kickboxing
Happy Halloween!

I decided that my costume at the gym today would be an in shape and talented BJJ practitioner. If nothing else, sometimes it helps one to perform if they simply play the part right? Well maybe it worked a little bit, the in shape part. I’ll explain why the talented BJJ player didn’t work out.

I arrived at the gym right at 0930 (class start time) but not to worry, Renee was just getting there as well. There were 5 of us in the beginning (this too would change by the end). We started out by doing the warm-ups. Renee’s class is a bit different from the others. His warm-ups are so very brutal and are a good mix of cardio and strength (two things I do not possess) and leave you broken before the real fun even begins.

Being a Saturday morning, we did circuits right after the warm-ups. This weeks slice of hell consisted of the following five stations of purgatory:

Cable Rows: 70lbs
Triceps Extensions: 20lbs
Alternating Dumbell Presses: 25lbs
Lat Pulldowns: 70lbs
Hanging Leg Raises: My own fat

We did three sets. We did 1 minute on each station with 30 seconds rest in-between. That equals a lot of weight moved in a very short period of time. During the first round, one of the group wrestled with asthma and tapped out due to MPH. the rest of us kept on, keeping the five stations.

After the circuits we went back to the mats and put in our ab work. We did the same exercises as normal with counts of at least 50 on each. Some of them we doubled up on and hit 100. I cant remember all we did, I think I have already repressed that memory, but trust me when I say it was yet another ring in the inferno.

When all was said and done and we were allowed to go toward the light (Carol Anne) I could not even lift myself off the mats. As I was sitting, holding myself up with my arms, they were acting like jackhammers, shaking uncontrollably. Now that’s a good time!!! The BJJ part didn't work out because nobody showed up for open mat. At least not in the time I was willing to wait. Oh well, I'll break out that costume again next week!

It's Been a While, I'll Have a Double

2009-10-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

(10/28/09 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing

(10/28/09 6:00pm) BJJ

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been attending a number of kickboxing classes and had not posted anything about them. Well, last nights (as well as Monday's) are worth reporting on. Monday (10/26/09) Renee was at the helm. Normally when Renee runs a class, it is safe to assume that first; it is going to be brutal and second it is going to be different than we are used to.

Well, he did not deviate from his normal form in either of these sessions. I have thrown the term "destroyed" around before and I truly feel like I have not done it justice after going thru these two workouts. The warm-ups were harder than a typical entire session. We kept a relentless pace and he made us perform sooo many reps of sooo many different exercises. Every part of by body hurts. Here is a brief example, when we were at the "cool down" phase of the workout; the section wherein we decimate our abs, there were 12 of us in the class. Renee would count off 10 reps for us then pass the counting to the person on the end. Once done the next person counts off 10 and so on, and so on. Yes, that is 130 reps of each ab exercise in rapid succession. Here is a list of what I can remember:

Crunches 130
Planks 130 (counting)
Planks with Right Leg up 130 (counting)
Planks with Left Leg up 130 (counting)
Side Planks 130 (counting)
Ceiling Touches 130
Knee Slides 130
Long Arm Crunches 130
Raised Leg Toe Touches 130
Obliques 130
Flutter Kicks 70
And many, many more!

Basically total devastation twice this week. Looking forward to doing it again tonight!

BJJ

It had been a long time since I have been on the mats. But since I got thru two brutal cardio sessions with no chest pain, I figured it would be safe. I took my sweet time putting away my gloves and wraps before changing into my gi. I made sure that the BJJ warm-ups were done before joining the class. It quickly became a bit of a nostalgic night as myself, Tank, Kemo, Fritz, Dr. Evil, both Alex's and Neil were all on the mats. It felt like old times. I drilled technique with Neil and the Doc worked in with us until Tank hit the mats.

We worked on spider guard passes. Particularly we learned the "bullfighter" or "matador" pass. Where, controlling the knees you fake out your intentions by moving their knees either side before exploding around to one side, dropping your near shoulder into their chest. Fritz also showed us a number of ways to pass if they are defending. Including a nifty knee on belly kinda version.

For the rolling portion we did the Submit, Sweep or Pass drills. This was my first bit of "rolling" in quite a while so while I never did get a pass, I had a few shining moments in that black sea of frustration. On my go with Kemo I actually broke his guard, almost passed, got swept but kept him from establishing position, shot for a single, he took my back, I rolled him off and almost drove to side control before he was able to sweep me. All the while I could hear Fritz coaching me and that was awesome. Knowing he was watching and wanting me to achieve means a lot.

My other moment was with Iron Man. I got out of his guard and found myself in his spider, just as we had drilled. I knew he was expecting the Matador so I faked it and tried that Sakuraba style Cartwheel pass. I didn't quite make it and ended up right where I started but at least I got a good laugh from the sidelines. Ian was laughing his ass off and that made me laugh a bit too. I said "at least I tried it huh?". At that moment class was over and we did the cool down. Good times.

Bottom line, I am back in action. No chest pain to report on either Monday or last night. So I will keep charging on and getting better.

BTW: I am so very, very, very sore today.

Guess Who is Back

2009-08-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, Ok. I have been a horrible blogger as of late. I will try to quickly sum up my reasons for not posting anything for a while and attempt to not whine in the process. If at any point this post begins to take on a whining, complaining tone, please reach thru your screen and slap me. Not to hard though please I have a meeting this morning.

So, my blog has undergone quite a metamorphosis. I have covered a wide range of topics. The blog started out as a training log and a place for me to vent my frustrations with the things that keep me from training, namely work. Then earlier this year when I had stroke number 5, it became a log of my journey to get healed. I documented my hospitalization wherein I learned that I had a PFO (hole in my heart). I chronicled my search for the right doctor to fix the issue, taking me from UCLA and finally to Cedars Sinai where I had my surgery on April 24th. I wrote about my procedure and recovery, my frustrations in being out of action for about six months of this year and finally I told the tale of my return to the mats. Very long story short, it’s been quite a year.

Last week my blog turned one year old. The one thing that strikes me as particularly funny is the fact that it has in many ways come full circle. Now it’s not my heart or a stroke keeping me off the mats but the same things I wrote about in my blogs inception. And frankly, isn’t that better? I think so. I am healthy. For the first time I am now living without the constant fear of migraines or of suffering another stroke. I had felt like a ticking time bomb over the past three years and now I feel as though I have permission to be optimistic, to live without limits. That is a pretty cool thing and I don’t take it for granted.

So here we are. I mentioned full circle, well here it is. Over the past month and change I have been working odd and inconvenient shifts in support of a special project at work. This has meant sometimes working from 10pm to 7 am or from 6pm to 4am or even 3 pm to 1am. You get the point; I’ve been all over the place.

I have not been totally inactive during this time. I have been taking a number of the conditioning kickboxing classes when possible and I have been at open mat on a few Saturdays, so not a total slouch. I did have a little scare though. Over the past few weeks I would occasionally get a slight chest pain during some of the more exertive moments of the conditioning classes when sudden bursts of strength and speed were required. Those pains would last throughout the remainder of the class and sometimes persist thereafter for a while. You can see why I had been hesitant to re-join BJJ lately as it is entirely moments of exertion of strength and speed.

So I contacted my wonderful Doctors and they assured me that all is well. I have my 6 month post-surgery checkup at the end of November so if anything is wrong we will find out for sure. Until then I will continue to try and get / stay in shape and listen to my body while doing so. Basically I am back, I plan to post like a madman and keep everyone updated.

Thanks to everyone who dropped me a line to make sure I was doing well because of my conspicuous absence in posting. I really do appreciate everyone’s concern. So now, you can get sick of me because I will be back to posting all the time.

(Un)restful Saturday

2009-08-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

(8/15/09 9:30am) Fitness Kickboxing

Ok here was the plan. I was going to hit the 9:30am kickboxing class. This would get out at 10:30 so I could rest up a bit, change and hit the 11:00 BJJ class and stay for open mat at 12:00 if I were feeling good and there were people to train with.

Here is what happened. I showed up a bit early and sat in the truck waiting for someone to come along and open the gym. Just before 9:30 Renee showed up walking like he was 105 years old (threw his back out). There was a bit of banter and then we were doing our normal warm-ups without having wrapped our hands. "We are going to do something different" Renee muttered as we warmed up for what felt like forever.

After the warm ups we headed to the weight area to perform some circuits. Here is the order of things.

Circuit #1:

Straight punches with dumbbell (1 minute)
Rest (30 seconds)
Uppercuts with dumbbell (1 minute)
Rest (30 seconds)
Hooks with dumbbell (1 minute)
Rest (30 seconds)
Push-ups (1 minute)

We rested for another 30 seconds and began the circuit again 2 more times. After the third go round we moved on to the next circuit.

Circuit #2

Hanging leg raises (1 minute)
Rest (30 seconds)
Cable rows (1 minute)
Rest (30 seconds)
Triceps extensions (1 minute)
Rest (30 seconds)
Lat pull-downs (1 minute)

As with the previous circuit, we did this one three times. Again we rested for another 30 seconds after the last set and then it was time for another burst of cardio. A few sets of sprints and shuffles were followed by a bevy of ab exercises.

When we finally finished up and were doing the cool-down stretches, I was sitting in the middle of lake Jay just wiped out. I looked up outside of the cage and saw one of my good friends watching from outside. I whispered "what time is it?" and the response shocked me. It was already after 11:00. By the time all was said and done it was just about 11:30. Yeah, that's right two hours of weights, cardio and other various levels of hell. I love it!

The only problem was I was tooo worn out to partake in BJJ, that was half over and I could not even think about open mat. I had nothing left to give. My shoulders were burning with lactic acid and it was all I could do to drive home. What a way to start a Saturday!

Same Work Outs; Different Ways

2009-08-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

(8/13/09 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing
(8/13/09 6:00pm) Open Mat

Tonight Renee led the class so it was a bit different. It’s good to change it up now and then so that makes three different class leaders and I like that. They all have a different style and that helps keep you from getting comfortable. We did many things that I’ve never done before and I look forward to actually being somewhat sore over the next few days! Wow, I need help.

There was no BJJ class tonight because a couple of our guys were supposed to fight in the King of the Cage event. One of them is still fighting but the other one had a cut above his eye and the commission would not let him fight. I’ll provide updates on outcomes tomorrow.

So we had an open mat session and I just did a couple of very, very, very long rolls. I went against a really big guy who said he weighed in at 200. How do I put this delicately…..LIAR! Big, over 200# Liar! Maybe he was embarrassed to admit his real weight, maybe he didn’t know, maybe where he’s from has a different gravitational pull making his equivalent mass “lighter” there or maybe he just lied. No matter the reason, I know that if my good buddy Neil clocks in at about 220 and this guy is bigger; I’m guessing he weighs more than Neil. Call it a hunch.

Anyway, we rolled for probably a good 12-15 minutes. Of course against someone like him I was in total survival mode most of the time. I was able to sweep and get to dominant position a few times. But as per usual as soon as I got into good position he proceeded to use his “200#’s” worth of strength and just pick me up and move me to suit his needs. I am quite proud at how well I did. I was controlling my breathing and remaining so very calm during the entire exchange.

I’ve said it before and here I go again, I think all the time away from the mats has helped my “game”. Not that I have a game, it’s more a random scramble with a couple of moments of brilliance sprinkled in occasionally. But I have a much better mind and feel for what I am doing now. I don’t get mat anxiety any more, I am feeling good.

Open (mat) Your Mind: Teach and Learn

2009-08-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

(8/8/09 12:00pm) Open Mat

I’ve talked before about just how much I love open mat time. Its my time. My time to work on anything that I feel I need to. Time to work with friends I don’t get to see that often (cause they rarely get to class anymore…Neil). It’s also a much more relaxed atmosphere that works well for me. My brain tends to learn the best in that kind of environment. When you can experiment without fear of getting killed, and are free to swap ideas and moves, that just clicks.

As you might have gathered from my allusion above, my buddy Neil made a special guest appearance. Ok enough bagging on him for now. As I was waiting for Neil to show up, I started talking to a new guy named Jason. I didn’t recognize him (due to a fresh shave he said) but I had worked with him on his very first night just a couple of weeks ago. He mistook the schedule and thought that class began at 12 when in actuality it ends at 12 and then becomes open mat. So I invited him to work in with Neil and I.

I’m glad I did. It was good for Neil and I to teach someone many of the things we have learned and in return we relearned some of the details we had lost. We showed him many of the good ol basics, including armbar from the mount, how to apply good pressure from half guard, side control and mount. That was especially fun. I love demonstrating the very difficult to understand concept of getting “heavy”. It made me feel quite good that here was something that I have totally gotten thru my training that people find very difficult to describe let alone pull off in the beginning of their training.

We did a few rolling sessions and some positional drills. We did a round robin style bit of rolls in which one guy would start in guard, half guard, side control or mount. The winner stayed on the mats and a fresh guy rotated in. This is the kind of training I love to do. I felt that my movement was very good. Neil was monkey strong and I struggled against him only pulling off one Americana.

Poor Jason on the other hand was tapping like Gregory Hines (you know, if the tap dancing legend were still alive and all). I know he learned a lot during the experience. It was good for me to be able to feel free and attempt some submissions I rarely go for, so thanks Jason. I know before long, he’ll start to find his game and I’ll have trouble rolling against him.

Sharing the Pain

2009-08-13T19:31:00.000-07:00

(8/5/09 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing

Good session. I didn’t have nearly as much energy as last night. I guess that’s to be expected because last night was just crazy and the body needs some regeneration time. Unlike last night, there was no contemplation of doing the double. I had just enough to survive the one session.

The class was like most. A lot of sweat, a lot of punches, a lot of leg and ab work and a lot of gratification when it was all over. One of the more notable aspects was having my co-worker and cube mate Derick in the class for the first time along with a few other familiar faces. It was fun to watch some of the pain I had gone thru in previous sessions showing up on his face. Good job Derick, proud of you.

First Real Rolls Since My Last Stroke

2009-08-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

(8/4/09 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing
(8/4/09 6:00pm) BJJ

That's right, another double. Another chance to prove to myself that I am getting better by the day. Another chance to put the memories of strokes and heart problems far behind. Don't get me wrong, I will never forget those things, I wont forget that they helped shape me into who I am today. But I need to move on from them, find out who I am now without them and whenever I can, help others struggling with the same problems.

Kickboxing was the normal, @$$ kicking good time. I actually felt really good all they way thru and at the end was confident that I could press on to BJJ and do well. I ran to the back, changed into my gi and hit the BJJ warm-ups just after they started. I powered thru them the best I could though my body was still a wreck from Kickboxing.

The drills we did focused on sweeps when your opponent is standing to pass your guard. We did quite a few good ones including one that sends the guy flying overhead and allows you to roll to mount. I have done this one before but it was the first time I had "learned" it. It was good to see what I did right and more importantly what I did wrong.

This was my first session of real rolling. Not limiting myself, not holding back. It was awesome. First I went against George who is a good 3 or 4 stripe white belt. He is about my same size. We had a back and forth battle with no submissions. We traded good position a number of times and when we ended I was actually in mount. Not too bad for a first roll back.

Next I went against Sarge. He always owns me. 4 stripes and a lot of strength. I only got tapped a few times and I was actually able to sweep a couple of times. So again for me, this soon back, that's a win.

The last roll was with a newer guy whose name I don't remember. He is very tall and luckily for me very easy to take down and control. I was able to shoot in for singles and doubles at will and get to side control right away. The times I landed in half guard I just used shoulder pressure to his jaw to open up the pass to mount. I don't want to go over each and every short roll so I'll just list what I caught him in.

Americana
Ezekiel
Ezekiel
Armbar
Americana
Ezekiel

I'm pretty sure that's it. It was a great session to have my first real roll since being back. The really cool thing was that I had to wait for him to catch his breath between rolls. That made me feel like I am making progress.

One More Mile Marker

2009-07-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

(7/29/09 6:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing

I left work with plenty of time to spare but somehow I still ended up being a little bit late to the class. I was still wrapping my hands when the rest of the group started warming up. In actuallity I didnt miss that much at all but at the time it felt like time was flying by. I joined up the group and still got PLENTY of the warm-up.

When it was time to get to the bags I convienently got one right under the A/C duct. Go figure, wonder how I ended up there? Anyway, it provided some relief to offset the ambient temperature in the gym and all the body heat I was generating. A little relief anyway.

We didnt go straight into heavy-bag combinations, instead we kept the gloves off for a while and worked a lot of kicks. Leg kicks, push kicks and side kicks were the chosen ones, with various one legged squats inbetween.

We then worked punch combinations and alternated them with a trillion different push-up variations.

Nearing the end, we did some speed drills that had us running to a bag, performing a set of combinations, running back to the start, performing an assortment of ab exercises and doing it all over again.

I felt pretty good during the session. I made a conscious effort to not miss any reps, and while I did not suceed at that goal, I was vastly better than I had been previously. So I consider that a win.

The road to full recovery and to get some gains is a long one. But I finally feel that I am at least in a car on that road and I'm making progress. Every session takes me to a new mile marker. Since this road has no end, and therefore never stops.....neither will I.

Unfitness Kickboxing

2009-07-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

(7/28/09 6:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing

Unlike the hot box of last week, the ac was on and so was I….at least for a few minutes. Right off the bat I was feeling good. Fast and strong. But when I began to taper off, the curve was dramatic. I felt at times like my lungs were the size of thimbles and my muscles were made of play dough. I completed the class but I made some observations that I will follow in the future. Some of these are pretty simple and mockable so have fun:

Get hydrated beforehand and get hydrated all day
Do Not eat the Super Nachos from Chronic Taco at any time before heading to the gym
Do not over caffeinate before a work-out. For me the two DO NOT mix.

At least I learned something and got in a killer work-out. More to come.

S-A-T-U-R-D-AY Jits

2009-07-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

(7/25/09 11:00am) BJJ
(7/25/09 12:00pm) Open Mat

It’s been quite a while since I have attended a Saturday session. These are typically more laid back (even by BJJ standards) and consist of a lot of rolling. Since I was not quite to the ready to roll stage, I relied on the fact there was a new guy there who I could coach during the session.

Josh was heading up class on this Saturday morning, it’s a first time I have been in a class that he has led. Its funny when I think of the fact that I was a student at the gym before he was and now he is teaching me. I guess that really illustrates all of the time I have had to be away from the mats due to my various head/heart/health problems. He got his blue belt while I was gone and has really grown into it. Its funny, but I have zero resentment and nothing but pride for what he has done.

The familiarity that Josh has with all of us lead to an even more relaxed Saturday class. We did a normal warm up and then we drilled the basics. Which I’ve said before and wait for it……I’m saying it again….I love drilling the basics. That is where Jiu-Jitsu lives. In the basics. We drilled:

Armbar from the guard
Triangle from the guard
Triangle from failed Armbar
And a bit o’ Omoplata

I worked with the brand new guy, who was considerably larger than I am (as is typical). We drilled the positions while I taught him all kinds of other tidbits at the same time. It was frustrating in that his base kept collapsing while we were drilling so I had to improvise; but it was good because his base kept collapsing so I had to improvise.

After our drills we did a bit of king of the mat with a twist. The guy out on the mat, on his back; the others would try to pass while he tried to sweep or submit. The twist was that win or lose the guy stayed out there for 5 or 3 minutes. I love this kind of drilling.
I had a few good passes and I had both a sweep and a submission so very successful day for me.

Open Mat

During the open mat session I worked with the new guy a bit more and then got schooled by Jerry on Spider Guard. Luckily while I was getting schooled I was getting schooled. He taught me quite a bit I was doing wrong. I worked spider guard on John immediately after and pulled off a beautiful sweep. I do so enjoy learning during open mat. I can’t wait to get to more of them. Unfortunately I have a class for work this weekend so I will have to wait till the next.

Hot, Hot, Hot

2009-07-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

(7/21/09 5:00pm 105 Degrees) Fitness Kickboxing

I will never again (at least in the near future) complain about the inadequate air conditioning at the gym.

I arrived at the gym with every intention of doing the double (kickboxing and BJJ) yet again. I was psyched up and ready. Until I set foot in the gym. You see, I am a big wuss. I can handle all kinds of physical torture. Any of us who partake in BJJ know about enduring almost unbearable circumstances. But there is one bit of torture I cannot handle…..heat.

You see, when the air conditioners were installed in our facility, the electrician installed controls that operate on some kind of morse code that can only be translated by occupants of the fifth dimension. Seriously, who selected those? When the staff has to call another electrician to help turn on the air, there is a problem.

So, when I got to the gym it was already hot outside and inside it was like an oven. One big stagnant oven. I went to the locker-room, changed into my shorts and t-shirt; luckily that translated into a bit of relief. I went and sat down against the wall in the heavy bag area to wrap my hands. After just a few minutes of doing that, I stood up and was already pouring out sweat. This will be a long class.

We started and for the first 40 minutes we pressed on with no air. There were moments when I swore I was taking place in some kind of vision quest ritual or something. I was expecting my spirit guide in the form of a talking yak to show me the way to inner peace. No such luck. Just sweat and effort.

Finally with time ticking down, my spirit guide yak came thru and turned on the air. As proud I am of the work I put in, I began a feeble migration to the area of the bag cage wherein the air actually hits. I let the frosty breeze hit me and for a split second it was good. But there was still work to be done. We finished, I changed and went home.

As I said, I had every intention of hitting BJJ right after, but that session of “Bikram” kickboxing wiped me out.

Double your Pleasure.....Double your Pain

2009-07-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

(7/20/09 5:00pm 101 Degrees) Fitness Kickboxing
(7/20/09 6:00pm 101 Degrees) BJJ

I’m trying to be very cognizant of how my body is handling training and I don’t want to start over training but I did the double again last night and actually felt pretty good. I figure that I’ll do this a couple of times a week, but not every session.

When I pulled up to the gym, our giant garage door that is right behind the cage was wide open. That was not a good omen. I knew in my heart that the door being open like that meant that it was so hot in the building and the air conditioning was so inadequate that they had to open up the door. This should be fun.

I changed into my shorts and rash guard which I topped off with my newly acquired “10 Things you should know about Chuck Norris” T-shirt. I headed out to the mats took a seat behind the heavy bags and began wrapping my hands. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again; I love that little moment of Zen, taking a few moments to relax and focus on getting myself ready for what is to come.

On this particular day Josh was leading our class. Josh is a very young guy who just made his professional MMA debut in a bout in Mexico over the weekend. He lost his match but considering he had 5 hours notice, I say he’s pretty game for stepping up and taking it. I’ll post more on his fight as I get details.

I remember when Josh joined the gym, he has come a very long way since. His pacing of the class and the way he switches between cardio and strength exercises is fantastic. It is amazing how much better I felt today. I felt stronger and like I could go for a much longer time than before. I suffered much less MPH in this session than in the two last week. Even now, a day later, I am feeling pretty good. Only a bit of soreness persists.

It is incredible how vertical my recovery curve has been. I am waiting for the bubble to burst when I hit the inevitable plateau and stop making quick gains. But for the moment I’ll keep on enjoying the feeling of getting in shape rather quickly. I was a heaping mass of pathetic mess at the end of the session but it was a smaller heap than the more recent sessions.

BJJ

Right after we concluded I went back into the locker-room and changed into my gi. Thank god this time I packed my new Koral light weight, last week when I did the double I was wearing my Gameness Pearl; world of difference. I took a few moments to wipe all the excess sweat off, get hydrated and then I headed to the mats.

Like last time, the warm-ups were almost to the half-way point. I joined in and was pretty mediocre. I didn’t have much juice left after the conditioning session and I didn’t want to fail pathetically during training so I took it a bit easy.

Fritz hurt his back earlier in the day so he turned the class over to Will, a 4 stripe blue belt who recently joined us from AV Jiu Jitsu. I’ve met Will a few times but this was the first time I had actually been in a class with him.

We started with a few mount escapes. The first was an upa to break their posture which allows you to grab an arm and pull off the basic, first night, upa escape. The second was an upa to create space so that you can turn immediately onto your side, get your elbow in-between his knee and you and use that to get to half guard.

Then we worked on some half guard sweeps. We did the old school wherein you get to half guard, sink yourself very deep, grab their foot, switch up your legs and drive to your knees. I have not done that particular escape in a very long time and I am happy to report that it sunk in much better this time and I actually almost pulled it off in rolling, more on that in a minute.

We worked on another sweep that you pull off if they whizzer your underhook. Instead of reaching for the toe, you shoot your hand thru the gap between their thigh and calf, unlock your guard, and shift your hips under theirs. This sweep, when done right, is very easy and the 235 pound guy I was working with felt like a feather pillow when I got my hips right.

When it came time to roll, knowing that I am nearing the end of my medication run and that I have been feeling better, I decided to test the waters and see how I was doing. I started a light roll with the same guy with whom I was drilling. I’m sitting at 175 right now and he’s the aforementioned 235, so I gave up a good 60 pounds. Still, I did pretty darn well. We started from my guard a couple of times and I put up a pretty good fight for the shape I’m in. We also started from the knees a couple of times. I tapped to an armbar once and to pure exhaustion another time.

I changed partners after two sessions and rolled with a new guy whose name I can’t remember. He’s a really nice guy, about my weight and a lot taller. We started from my guard and I did very well. I got an omoplata sweep and I also locked in a triangle at one point. My legs were so wasted from the conditioning class that I could not manage to finish it. I had it locked up but I had no strength to squeeze. I count that as a success though. Like I said, I’m getting better every day.

One thing that I think is pretty funny; I think my game has improved since I have been out. Physically I am still a wreck but my movement is better (when I can move) and my understanding has increased. I am really looking forward to getting in better shape and seeing how that translates to overall improvement. If I can translate this new understanding into action with a body that cooperates, I’m very optimistic.

Make it a Double.....

2009-07-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

(7/16/09 5:00pm 105 Degrees) Fitness Kickboxing
(7/16/09 6:00pm 105 Degrees) BJJ

One of my post-surgery, post-heart problem recovery goals was to be able to take on our Fitness Kickboxing class and to then dive right into the Jits class immediately afterward.

Goal accomplished.

All day Thursday I was super sore from the Tuesday night conditioning session. I was suffering from DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) in a pretty major way. I could barely walk up the set of stairs leading to my desk. When it came time to leave work, my brain was engaged in a bitter wrestling match. Should I go to the 5:00 Kickboxing class, even though I am sore that my soreness is sore, even though I know that it will help me to feel better; or should I just head home, soak my body in near-boiling water and hope that tomorrow is a more mobile day? And besides, its over 100 degrees outside, which means the gym will be somewhere in the high 90's.

I actually started driving toward home. I got quite far before I took a deep breath, unwadded my panties, turned the car around and set a trajectory toward the gym. I told myself, "just go for conditioning and take it easy if you need to". You see the funny part about that is I can NEVER seem to take it easy but I was still able to convince myself of it.

I got to the gym a bit early so I was able to change, get some water and wrap my hands in peace. I really needed that short bit of time to recharge my batteries and to stretch most of my tension away.

And then it began. The session on Tuesday was very leg heavy and that was where the majority of my pain was living. Ironically (in the Alanis Morisette way and not the literal way) I was feeling much stronger and in better shape than I had since my return. Don't get me wrong, I was still dying but I felt like I was dying just a bit less. I performed each exercise and combination with everything I had and by the end I was shaking and covered with sweat.

In the locker room I began to dry off and pack up to head home. I then had another moment of pause. I felt really good despite being half dead. I LOVE Jiu Jitsu, I figured that even a class in which I would totally suck, it would still be good for me. So I took off my t-shirt and peeled on my rashguard. I managed to get my gi on and get out to the mats.

We have a standing rule that if you participate in the conditioning class then you do not have to engage in the BJJ warm-ups. Most of you know about BJJ warm-ups and I'm sure I've written about our special little brand of hell in the past. When I got to the mats the warm-ups were at about the half-way point, just before the shrimping, monkeys and other exercises that take you back and forth across the mats. I decided, if I am going to die, it may as well be face down on the mats; so I joined in.

After the warm-ups completed we started drills. There were not a whole lot of long time guys there so Fritz had us work on a perpetual motion drill that involved: lapel choke from the mount, upa escape, lapel choke from the guard, guard pass to side control, pass from side control to mount....and continue in that order. I love drilling like this. Any chance to work on the fundamentals and drill them repeatedly is welcome by me. One thing that was kind of funny was the fact that even though I had already punished myslef in the conditioning class, I seemed to have more fuel than the guy I was working with. I think things are getting better.

When it came time to roll, I stuck to my commitment of not rolling till I am off my post-surgery meds. I saw Howard in the class (gigantic, yet athletic blue belt). Howard and I worked with each other once since I've been back and he knows my condition and how to roll without it killing me. I asked him if he wanted to go and before we could, Fritz asked me to work with the brand new, first night kid named Aldo. I love rolling but at the same time I LOVE teaching someone new about our art.

I taught Aldo the lapel choke and showed him how to apply it kneeling, from the guard and from the mount. Once he had it I started our very own perpetual motion drill similar to the one we were doing in class (while he was relegated to the side of the mat practicing the good ol' UPA). As he got more and more comfortable I started upping the resistance and introducing him to the principals of head and hip control, hip movement and energy conservation. At one point I was defending, with him in mount, using just my hips and movement. What a great session. I left the gym so spent yet so exhilarated.

The spirit is willing but…….

2009-07-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

(7/14/2009 5:00pm) Fitness Kickboxing

For the better part of this year I did not exercise for the fear that it could kill me. Now whenever I do, I am certain that it Will kill me. Last night I participated in another session of Fitness Kickboxing and am suffering the afterglow.

Now, let me describe the agony that is our Fitness Kickboxing. When most people hear the term “Fitness Kickboxing” their minds envision some kind of work-out as one would find at a run of the mill fitness chain, like the ones that are open 24 Hours, and focus on Fitness, yes like some kind of 24 Hour Fitness type place. I assure you, it is not like that.

Distinction number 1. Heavy bags. Real heavy bags. Muay Thai style, super tall heavy bags that will laugh at you if you offend them with anything less than full power.

Distinction number 2. Did I mention the full power thing? Combination after combination all thrown with vicious intent at an opponent that does not get tired nor does it seem phased against any onslaught.

Distinction number 3. Bodyweight exercises. Lots and lots of body weight exercises. Burpees and Lunges and push-ups, oh my. The irony of bodyweight exercises is that they seem much harder now that I’m out of shape and a bit heavier than I was the last time I did them; go figure.

Distinction number 4. Cardio. Ok, so those other programs are all about cardio, but I doubt they have the same nauseating combination of all of the events I have described to this point in addition to a symphony of cardio work that builds to a crescendo throughout the hour long class, never plateauing, just steadily building to the peak before allowing you to crumble in a soggy mass on the mats.

There was a time in the fairly recent past where I could complete this workout and then go smoothly into BJJ class (skipping the warm-ups of course). Well, I am not there yet. I had every intention of doing so last night but by the time the hour was finished, so was I. Shaky legs could barely carry me back to the locker room to retrieve my bag, my keys and my dignity.

Now I cannot forget to mention that yesterday the temperature here in the lovely high desert topped out at around 101°? Now the gym is approximately 4,000 ft2 and the swamp cooler we have does not quite cool the entire space. In all honesty, it only cools that little square directly underneath it. The heavy bag area is not directly underneath it. Not even close. A cinderblock building with a tin roof tends to get a bit warm under the desert sun, as does everyone inside.

Now don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not whining. Really, I’m not. I am relishing the fact that I am able to do this again. I may be way out of shape compared to where I was before my last round of strokes and heart surgery but I am alive and able to begin rebuilding. I know each hellish session I endure gets me closer to where I was before, which gets me closer to being better than I have ever been. I love that today, as I type this, I am in sheer agony. My legs scream with every movement, my shoulders are tense, my shins are covered with welts and my pinky knuckles are even bruised. Each of those little nuisances are small trophies that I have EARNED on my way back. Being out of shape is a terrible state to be in. Luckily, I’m just visiting.

Daytime Jits

2009-07-09T17:44:00.001-07:00

(7/9/09 BJJ 12:00)

I was able to sneak out of work a bit early today and hit the noon BJJ session. First time for that.

Good training. We drilled some guard retention / recovery and in one we ended with a triangle. Very slick.

When it came time to roll, I helped the one brand new guy work on his side control escapes, leaving the one other guy in class to roll with our instructor Fritz.

My cardio and strength are still suffering, but each session gets me a little closer. As Team Quest says, "Pain is merely weakness leaving the body". Hope so!

Don't Get Frustrated

2009-07-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

I knew it would be like this. I knew it would be hard. But dang.

I haven't done any rolling as of late, the last week or so, but I have been doing some other stuff in an attempt to regain some of the cardio I lost over the last six months of dormancy. One of my other loves is cycling. I ride both mountain and road. With the Tour de France going on it seemed as good a time as any to do a couple of rides. Cycling can be great for building up cardio over long and sustained loads. While it does not always translate into the same shape we need for BJJ, with our short bursts of maximum effort, it is still helpful.

I did a nice 15 mile ride on Monday that just killed me. In my previous shape I would have had no problem but now that I am in rebuilding mode it was quite challenging. There was one hill in particular that almost made me pop. It is a relatively short distance and is very steep. I have conquered this hill before with shortness of breath and satisfaction the only end result at the top. This time however I made it 7/8 of the way before clipping out of my pedals, sitting on a short cement wall, and waiting for the nausea to pass. This little hill kicked my.....padded cycling shorts.

Last night I went to the gym and did our conditioning kickboxing class. This class is ALWAYS brutal but last night it was even more so in my state. My body knew what to do, but it just couldn't do it. There was one point during the workout when I forgot my positive mindset that it will all get better and frustration set in. Throwing powerless strikes imprecisely is not fun. I finished the workout damp and exhausted, but I finished. One down......

I know that it is a process, I know that it takes time. I know that I wont get back to my normal, mediocre level of BJJ over night. But that doesn't prevent me from getting frustrated. I have plenty of will just no ability. So, right now I am relishing in the soreness of last nights workout because I know that it is putting me one step closer. One itsy bitsy tiny step.

Third Time's the Darce

2009-06-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

BJJ (6/17/2009 6:00pm)

Back on the mats again. Tonight was my third night back since returning from my surgery and that whole ordeal. I felt terrific. I survived the warm-ups with only the jumping push-ups being passed over.

Drills tonight revolved around learning the Darce choke. I have seen this one performed many a time but this was my first opportunity to learn it. After a bit of awkward fumbling my training partner for the night and I started to get it down pretty well.

When it came time to roll, I stuck to the plan and started to sit out. It wasn't until one of the other guys got hurt that I started. I got the left-behind partner of the guy who had to limp off the mats, told him I can't really roll but I can work technique. He said he wanted to work on guard passes, so that is how we started. My Guard Was Awesome tonight. Probably one of the best guard nights ever. Not only was I happy to be doing well, I was also glad that I was able to help this other guy with something he needed to improve.

I swept a few times, didn't really go for submissions because I was trying to help him learn. I was able to control his grips and posture, off-balance him at will, and just generally look like I knew what I was doing. Good night.

Next I rolled at "50%" with Kim. He has always been tough for me. He was going immediately to spider guard, which always gives me trouble, but I did well. Twice I was able to pass, and as in the earlier session my guard was solid. I didn't submit, but I did not get submitted either.

For my third night back, pretty awesome. I am just taking it a day at a time, knowing that it is a journey.

Slacker!!!

2009-06-17T22:08:00.001-07:00

So I'm finally back in action and here I am not updating this blog. Shame on me. Perhaps I need more stuff to complain about in order to make me write. Or perhaps I have just been too darn busy letting life get in the way again. Or maybe, when I have time to write, I use it for catching up on rest instead.

Whatever the reason, here I am. Writing now and that is what matters. What do I have to say? Since my last post I have done quite a bit and some of it is even Jiu Jitsu related. Some of it is just the same ol' stuff, some of it is…..the MUNDIALS!!!

I know I have missed the appropriate window for reporting on the Mundials and by now everyone knows what I do, Roger is a cyborg. I attended both Saturday and Sunday during which time I ran around snapping photos for that friend to us all, Caleb from The Fightworks Podcast. Upon arrival he dispatched me with the still camera and Bruce with the video camera and off we went. Despite some technical difficulties, I was still able to get some great shots. One of my photos that made the website was the culmination of semi-strategic positioning and a whole bunch of luck. On Sunday Dr. Evil and I were sitting among the boisterous Alliance team and when Sergio Moraes beat "Finfou" and leapt up into the Alliance camp, froze time, and allowed me to snap this shot.

The photo appeared on the FWPC and I'm just glad that I was able to help Caleb out and give him a decent shot. Yes, that bald head at the bottom is Fabio Gurgel.

On Sunday morning there was also the chance to get together with Caleb and other members of The Mighty 600,000. We had a great time sitting around, talking Jiu Jitsu and pretty much expecting Roger to win it all, as he did. I am happy to announce that my good friend Dr. Evil was able to make it down. Here is a shot of us, with Caleb, at the coffee get together before Sunday's action.

Dr. Evil is the one on the left who looks like Dr. Evil, I'm in the center and Caleb is on the right. Good times guys, thanks a lot. Stay tuned, more Jiu Jitsu content to come. I'm finally back to the mats and anxious to make improvements and let everyone know how its going!

"Light" Rolling

2009-06-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

BJJ (6/3/2009 6:00Pm)

On Wednesday I went back for more. Like a crackhead who's been in rehab for 5 months, I could not resist getting back to my drug of choice just as soon as I could. This is only my second class back and I did them on consecutive days. What did I say about being a crackhead?

I was really feeling my out of shapedness during the warm-ups. Unlike the previous day when I actually felt pretty well, this time I was a pile of goo (only less firm). By the end I was melting. The lack of cardio is difficult to deal with but I did not expect the total loss in functional strength. I know both will come back with time so I am actively working on not getting frustrated, so far so....ok.

After the warm-ups Fritz yelled "get some water, put your mouthpieces in" which means its time to roll. Luckily Mike was also suffering from a bad case of MPH having hurt his toe a few days before. Since neither of us were able to actually roll, we worked together. We started by working some technique from my guard until he said "lets just go super light and see how we do". That was easy for him to say but so hard for me to do.

We did a "light roll" for the rest of the class with me needing to pause every so often to catch my breath. I only managed one guard pass, one sweep and one submission (ezekiel choke). I had never felt that spent after training. I was glad that we were slightly pushing and that I was able to keep my heart working the entire time. I knew that with every session I would be improving and I would never feel this bad again.

Taking Thursday off, training Friday then its off to the Mundials (as a spectator) for Saturday and Sunday.

Good to be Home

2009-06-03T16:08:00.000-07:00

Full circle. Well, this Jiu-Jitsu, maybe its full Triangle! Either way, after 4 Months and 23 days or; 143 days or; 20 weeks or; 3432 hours or; 205,920 minutes or; 12,355,200 seconds, however you count it I made it back to the mats. But who’s counting?

Of course, going into the class I had a bit of apprehension and trepidation. I was worried about how well my heart has actually healed; I was concerned about overdoing it right off the bat. I had an irrational fear in my head that I had forgotten everything. I was nervous that I would be completely and totally out of shape (well some fears do come true).

Packing up my gym bag and getting ready to head to class brought back a familiar feeling. Making the drive to the gym I could not believe that my long, involuntary vacation had come to an end.

Now, since I have been out I have made it a point to stop in now and then. To catch up with the guys, provide status reports on my heart and just to soak up the atmosphere. This time, I arrived with my bag in hand and I was ready to go.

The warm-ups were just as brutal as I remembered. Surprisingly the only one I could not make it thru was our traditional end of warm-up surfer. Other than that I managed to get thru everything else. Now, I didn’t look very good and I was sloppy and slow; but I made it thru.

We drilled standing guard passes, which was a perfect refresher for me. I drilled with Neil and Kris who both made it a point to be there with me on my first night back. Dr. Evil stopped by too but was not able to train as he just had his wisdom teeth pulled and is dealing with that madness. Thanks for the support guys.

When it was time to roll, I stuck to my commitment to not rush back to rolling so I helped a guy who was there for the first time. Upa’ville here we come. Helping him learn the upa escapes was also beneficial for me because it allowed me to ease right back into the rhythm and work on some fundamentals and positions.

What a great night. I am horribly out of shape and have a long way to go to get back to “normal” but I made it thru and did pretty well. I’M BACK!!! I want to thank everyone for your support and well-wishes during this tumultuous time. This community we have is phenomenal I am proud to be part of it.

Tiny Bubbles.....

2009-05-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, 27 May was my one month follow-up appointment to see how the PFO closure was healing, to make sure the device is working as it should and to find out whats next. I was hoping for good news, what I got was so much more.

I showed up to the fifth floor of the south tower at Cedars Sinai about an hour and a half early. I guess that I was feeling excited and apprehensive at the same time. Before seeing the Doctor I was having an echocardiogram with bubble study. Basically, it is a normal echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) but at one point they inject a bunch of saline bubbles into a vein and watch them flood into the right atrium. If the surgery worked as it was supposed to, all of the bubbles would stay in the right atrium and not shoot across into the left thru the newly closed PFO.

I have become somewhat used to having echos done now. I know what images they are going to grab and typically in what order. I even know how to stay comfortable in the awkward positions. So I knew when it was over and time for the bubbles. A nurse had already come in before the test and installed an IV line in my arm but for the actual injection of the bubbles the technician called the Fellow who was on duty.

The tech had a pretty picture of my left and right atria on the screen (the right one appears on the left of the screen.....go figure). And in coordination with the fellow, the bubbles were injected rapidly. On the screen the right atrium started to show up bright white as the bubbles rushed in. The left atrium was remarkably empty. Neither myself, the tech nor the Fellow could see any bubbles pass thru the PFO. The surgery worked as it should have.

With a new sense of relief I left the echo lab and made my way to the Doctor's office. I felt like a kid running home to see a parent with a good report card (not that I have ever known THAT feeling). I couldn't wait to hear what Dr. Kar would say. Most of my apprehensiveness had now been replaced with pure excitement.

At Dr. Kar's office the wait felt intolerable. It wasn't very long but I was dying to get in to see him. Asma came and took me to the room and went over how I was doing. She asked if I had received her reply to my email that told me basically no increased physical activity until at least a month after surgery. I said I did receive it and we laughed that I knew the answer to the question before I had asked it....guilty.

Dr. Kar came in and was as excited as he is every time I have seen him. He asked how I was feeling and I told him that I was fantastic. He read the echo report and told me that the doctor who read the results had seen a couple of tiny bubbles make it into the left atrium. Dr. Kar told me not to worry about that because first off I had, in his words, "a Huge PFO"; and secondly at the end of six months enough scar tissue should grow over the device so that no bubbles would come thru. But for now, the size and relative amount that passed thru were nothing at all to be concerned about.

Then when the appointment was drawing to a close I asked about my activity level; about what I could or could not do. In one of those moments where one's words were not specifically chosen but they are exactly right he said "you can do anything". How inspiring is that? That's right, I have NO LIMITATIONS now. I committed that upon my return to the mats (probably Tuesday, 2 June) I would take it slowly and not roll for a month or so. The Doctor told me to come see him again at the six month mark and sent me on my way.

I cant begin to describe my appreciation for Dr. Kar, Asma, and the entire team who got me thru this. When one hears that they have a hole in their heart the level of fear is paralyzing. They made it so easy to deal with and as I saw with my own eyes, they fixed it.

When I return to the mats next week, it will have been after about five months off. I last trained on Saturday, 10, January. 2009 will go down as a year where I lost half of it to a couple of strokes, the discovery of a hole in my heart, surgery and finally a mid-year triumphant return.

Stay posted, the return of Jiu Jitsu content is imminent!!!

Dinner with the Mighty 6(00,000)

2009-05-25T00:45:00.000-07:00

A big thanks to Caleb from The Fightworks Podcast for arranging the first "BJJ Dinner with the Family" on Tuesday 19 May down in Beautiful San Diego http://thefightworkspodcast.com/2009/05/16/bjj-dinner-with-the-family/ .

This was a great opportunity for me to take a short drive (three hours each way) and enjoy the company of and conversation with others who love my sport. We had some great discussions on current topics and everyone at the table helped me to gain some perspective on the situation at my own gym.

Now, there were only six of us there so the running joke was that each of us represented 100,000 listeners. I look forward to being able to do this on a more regular basis.

Thanks again Caleb, thanks to everyone who was there. Hopefully we can all share a roll one day!

One Month

2009-05-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

Healing Milestone:
Well here we are. It has been one month (30 days) since my PFO closure operation. In many ways it feels like just a few days have passed and in others it feels like it has been so long. This is the first significant milestone in my recovery. This coming Wednesday (27 May) I have my follow-up where the doctors will take a look with an echocardiogram to make sure things are healing as they should. I will make sure to post my results as soon as I hear them.

PFO Migraine Stroke Group:
While I am on the subject of my PFO. Someone who read my blog pointed me in the direction of a new PFO Migraine Stroke group on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=106434738635 . The group is still small but hopefully it will grow to help people like me who are struggling with the same problem.

Random News:
I am hoping to start a separate blog for just my medical adventures so that when I return to the mats I can return this one back to its Jiu Jitsu focus while still continuing to write about PFO, Stroke and Migraine. I feel that these are issues that are just not discussed enough and It is my mission to help educate, inspire and guide people struggling with the problems that inhibited me for so long. Keep your eyes open for that new blog as my return to the mats draws near. Also, keep your fingers crossed for me as I go into my appointment on Wednesday, optimism is high.

Impatient Patient

2009-05-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

Recovery Day: 19

As the title suggests, I can be a bit difficult at times. Most of the time, when it counts, I can be the picture of patience. I can outlast most people even in the most arduous of circumstances. I think that on the whole I have been pretty darn good in dealing with this impossible situation over the last three years; especially in the last six months when it became exponentially worse and kept me from doing many of the things I love.

So, now it has been about 6 months since I have hit the mats. Part of the reason I have been able to keep pressing forward without going completely mental is the fact that I had an enemy to fight. I had suffered a number of small strokes with at least two of them leaving their autographs visible only via MRI. I was suffering with numbness down my right arm and focusing on getting better and finding answers helped to keep me preoccupied and my mind off training.

On 9 March when I had two strokes within 24 hours and found myself in the hospital with a diagnosed problem, a PFO (hole in my heart) I suddenly had a new mission. Time to get it fixed. Once I get that bad boy all patched, all is good. Its back to action. I got my PFO fixed on 24 April 2009, just 43 short days after it was discovered.

Now I have no more battle. No more fight. I am feeling fantastic. There is however a long way between feeling and being. It has only been 19 days since my surgery. This foreign object that has been lodged into my heart has not had much time to settle in and begin get covered over by scar tissue. I am in that precarious spot between feeling awesome and being awesome.

I feel like I could jump right back into what I used to do, or at least back into SOMETHING, but as one of my doctors just confirmed for me....I can't. I am not supposed to do ANYTHING physically exhertive for at least one month following the surgery. Now that makes total sense in my head, but now that I am fighting no other battles and I don't have that to keep me preoccupied or worried, I am dying to get back in action.

I go back to see the Doctor for my one month follow-up on 27 May. At that appointment they will do an echocardiogram and inject some bubbles into my heart so they can see if the hole is sealed properly. Hopefully I will also get the green light to begin to gradually step-up my physical activity level. Cross your collective fingers for me!

Side note: Grappling with Life in Seattle
I am going to Seattle this weekend. My wife and I are taking a short vacation for no good reason other than we need one. We will be the stereotypical tourists doing all the tourist things but we will also be seeing my BELOVED BOSTON RED SOX trample the Mariners at Safeco Field on Friday night. If there are any must see BJJ tourist spots in Seattle, please send me a note!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

2009-05-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

Today is my Birthday. Well, not exactly. You won't find any note of it on my driver's license. Its not on my passport; nor is it on my birth certificate. So, as far as any "official" body is concerned technically today is just any other day, but symbolically.....today I am one week old.

The card I carry in my pocket provided by NMT (the company that manufactured the device used to plug the hole in my heart) lists the model number, serial number, lot number and the date....April 24th 2009. One week ago today. So the way I see it today deserves a bit of celebration.

Anyone who has followed my blog for a while, especially those of you who have read this since before I KNEW I HAD A HOLE IN MY HEART (that still freaks me out sometimes) will know that nostalgia is not my strong suit. I wrote about how new years resolutions tend to go by the wayside (http://grappling-with-life.blogspot.com/2009/01/goals-for-2009.html) and that I would rather make goals. So needless to say, I am finding myself struggling to find the proper perspective on this second chance at a normal life.

I don't want to be one of those whacked out people who suddenly sells off all their possessions, moves to a cave and contemplates their navel for the rest of eternity. On the other hand I don't want to be unappreciative either. This is a rather profound event in my life that very likely has saved my life. I feel a great responsibility to get things right, I feel like I need to be a voice for these issues. I feel like I need to be the best me I can be.

It fills my heart to know that this little blog has begun to help already. Some of you may have noticed the "For more information" contact bar that I added off to the right hand side. Shortly after my post about finding my PFO and adding that contact link, two people with conditions mirroring mine contacted me. Both of them had suffered strokes (one of them multiple times like myself), both of them had PFO's recently found and like me both of them were looking for answers. Because of this little blog, I was able to help. One of the two had their PFO closed TODAY by the very same doctor who did mine one week ago!!! I cannot express how good it makes me feel to know that I was able to help someone while on my own path to wellness.

This person never did BJJ, had never read my blog before. I was stumbled upon simply because they were googling the things I had written about. I know they will read this so when they do, I want them to know that I am so happy that they are also on the road to recovery and they better enjoy the journey....Happy Birthday!!!

That Part of my Life is Over!!! The PFO is Closed!!!

2009-04-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

Friday was the big day. PFO closure surgery at Cedars Sinai. My wife and I got to Cedars before 0500 in the morning. They told us to be there by 0600 but we did not want to risk being late given the fact that we had to travel south on the 405 freeway on a weekday. Upon our arrival we knew that this experience would be dramatically different than any other medical procedure either of us had ever had.

The staff working the front desk of the south tower that early Friday morning were as welcoming and accommodating as you would expect to find professional concierges in high end hotels. I signed in and upon their urging took a seat in the well appointed waiting room. We waited for about ten minutes until one of the ladies from the front desk called my name along with the name of another guest. As I rose to my feet she came to me instead of me going to the desk. I was assuming that I needed to fill out some of the requisite paperwork; instead she proceeded to walk my wife and I along with the other party to the elevators and all the way to our destination, the 6th floor.

My wait in the 6th floor lobby was not very long. The registration agent at the desk told me that they would probably be calling me back at about 0615; guess what time they called me back....0615. I cannot begin to describe how much I appreciate punctuality and respect for the patients time when in a hospital setting. Having that one thing to count on makes all the difference when one is facing stressful situations.

When they took me back to the prep area, the professionalism continued. This is a well-oiled machine that does not compromise. I will spare everyone all of the details of the prep work they performed with two exceptions: First, there are no clothes under that gown; and Second, the part of you they prepare for the Catheter to be inserted so they can get up to the heart is not in the "leg" like they say....think a bit higher...that's all I will say. If you want any deeper insights please just use the link to the right and email me.

The procedure was simply amazing. I was AWAKE the entire time. After a few minutes the nurses mildly sedated me to take the edge off but I never became less lucid. My thoughts might have been a bit slower but I was still able to be conversant with the surgical team as well as watch the four monitors that showed the surgery progressing. Dr. Kar showed me the Starflex device before he sent it up and into my heart. Simply amazing, and big. He exclaimed upon seeing my PFO on the screen that I had a "Huge" PFO. I replied back that size matters and the surgical team had a bit of a chuckle.

While they were testing atrial chamber pressure using did begin getting a migraine. Dr. Kar told me that this was a relatively common occurrence, that the bubbles traveling thru the PFO and into the brain can cause migraine. They were able to give me medicine intravenously that aborted the migraine as the aura faded. The only downside to me was not being able to see the end of the procedure. There was never a point during the procedure that I felt any discomfort. When Dr. Kar was injecting the contrast dye and anaesthetic into my leg, I felt the needle and the bit of pain from that but nothing else.

I must give a great deal of thanks to everyone who was in the room. All of the doctors and nurses who worked on me during the procedure were so professional, caring and accommodating. Of course I have already raved about Dr. Kar in my previous post. This time I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Broder as well. Dr. Broder was very friendly and took the time to make sure I understood what was going on. He also acted as my discharge doctor and helped me clear up an issue with my incompetent local pharmacy. Big thanks to Dr. Broder for that. I also met a Dr. Dublin (I hope the spelling is correct), he was in his words "low on the totem pole" with the team but I could tell that given time he will be an outstanding choice for this procedure. Dr. Dublin came into the pre-op room and spent some time with my wife and I explaining how things would go and then after the procedure he went out to the waiting room to tell her that everything went well and brought her back to see me.

They wheeled me back into an ICU / Cardiac Step-Down center where I got my own private room. I had to lie pretty much flat on my back for 6 hours before I was allowed to sit up. Then after a couple more hours a doctor came to remove the sutures from my "leg". They put on a compression bandage and that was it. The only pain was a bit of stinging when the doctor wiped alcohol on the sutures. I had a gaping hole in my leg and a foreign object in my heart, but I was feeling good and in no pain. How cool is that?

I camped out in the room until morning when they did an echocardiogram to make sure the device was in place and holding tight. Then Dr. Broder came in at 10:00 when he said he would, and released me. We headed for home, stopping off to get some real food outside the confines of the hospital.

It's been a couple of days now and I still feel fantastic. I am moving around like I always have. Today I took off the bandages and though the bruising looks bad, the actual incision is pretty minor and I don't think there will be much of a scar. I am on Plavix for three months and asprin for at least six. I am allowed to begin moderate exercise again within the next week or two. I will be allowed to resume BJJ after the three month mark. Sooner if they determine that scar tissue is growing over the device fast enough.

A big bit of thanks to everyone for your support and well wishes. This has been a very long three years of two strokes and three TIA's, heart problems and not having any answers. I am so happy that it seems all of that should be behind me now.

The First Day of the Rest of...Cedar Sinai Rocks!!!

2009-04-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

I saw Dr. Kar at Cedars on Wednesday, 15 April. What a different experience than I had at UCLA. First off, I cannot say enough about how welcoming and accommodating Dr. Kar and his staff were.

My wife and I were first greeted by Dr. Kar's P.A. Asma because he had scrubbed into a procedure earlier in the day and was still assisting. Asma sat down with us and listened as we recounted my journey of the last three years. We detailed each stroke that I have had from the first one in 2006 all the way up to the two in one day that I just suffered back on 9 March.

We told her about the PFO that they had found while I was in the hospital and that while we were terrified to learn that I had a hole in my heart, we were exhilarated to learn that there might be a permanent solution. Then the story shifted to detailing my experience at UCLA and how the esteemed doctor there had only offered me entrance into a trial, and how self serving that seemed. A "miss-trial" she asked, and with that remark, we decided just how much we liked her already.

She told us that with my mix of symptoms and history, that doctors certainly should recommend closure. She told us that Dr. Kar would more than likely want the same thing, just as soon as he finishes up with the procedure. Asma told us to go downstairs, have some coffee or something to eat and come back up at our leisure and the doctor should be back by then. So we did.

Upon our return to the offices, Asma took us into the exam room again and right behind her Dr. Kar entered. My nerves were already a mess. I had been anticipating this appointment for weeks now, and after the glimmer of good news Asma had given us just an hour before this meeting, I was extraordinarily nervous. What if we were this far and he decided not to do it, what if for whatever reason I am not a good candidate, what if....its just another trial.

After just a few moments with Dr. Kar, filling him in on my history, all of my fears were laid to rest. He was amazing. Finally someone understood. He listened to our concerns and addressed each one. He then described the procedure in detail, told me how perfect my case is for trials, and then told me that he was not going to twist my arm to join his because as he jokingly put it I "had earned it".

He is going to perform my surgery using the Starflex device which is getting FDA approval next week. I will be one of the first people to receive this device without having to be in a trial. He has used it in a great many procedures already, for clinical trials of the device. This is the newest and the best device and is perfect for my PFO. Once this device is implanted it will start to become a part of me. Scar tissue and heart muscle will grow around it, making it invisible in months.

My surgery is going to take place on Friday, 24 April at Cedars Sinai. That is right, basically one week from now. I will go in Friday and be home on Saturday. I will be back at work on Monday and back to full activity within weeks. Back to the mats within........NOT TOO MUCH LONGER!!!

A Moment of Gratitude

2009-04-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

I know its true for myself, and I'd venture to say its true for many out there, that we all tend to get wrapped up in ourselves from time to time. Bloggers especially can fall into this trap. Lets face it, we talk about ourselves a lot. I try to make it a point to let people know that I appreciate them regularly, but as I said its hard sometimes.

When I was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, everyone knew I wasn't dying or anything. For all intents and purposes it was routine...for me. I had suffered yet another TIA (mini-stroke) and though this was the first hospitalization, it certainly was not my first rodeo. What was amazing to me was the fact that even though I was fine, and everyone knew that...people showed up. I get a little choked up just putting that on paper. It blows me away that someone would willingly go into a hospital when they don't have to, in order to see someone who is doing well and ready to get the heck out of there.

As you can see by reading my past few posts, I learned some pretty shocking and difficult news about my heart while I was in the hospital, and with the love and support of my wife plus the support of everyone who came to see me or called or texted me, I knew I had a deep bench to call upon during difficult times.

I am eternally grateful to Caleb from The Fightworks Podcast. Without him, well there would be no Fightworks Podcast first off. Secondly, he is the reason I started this silly little blog to begin with. Last year when he posted his list of blogs he reads and the instructions on how to view them in google reader I followed his advice. That introduced me to this wonderful community we have. Before then I never knew just how many others shared my passion. I came to love checking reader daily, to see what was going on in the lives of Gringa, 365, Slidey, Steve, Valerie, Farts and countless others. This was the perfect outlet for someone like me.

Caleb was kind enough to include me in his listing late last year and now that he has posted his revised "Blogs I read" list / file, I find myself on there again. I really am grateful for that. Because anyone who has read my blog lately has found pretty much zero Jiu Jitsu content as I have been off the mats since mid to late January. So, a big THANK YOU Caleb. I'm so glad you are out there. Below is the link to Caleb's post which has the OPML file and instructions to upload and use Google Reader.

http://thefightworkspodcast.com/2009/04/02/bjj-blogs-i-read-updated/

Or if you are more tech savvy than I, here is the OMPL file itself:

Download the OPML File of BJJ Blogs Here

Also, I am so thankful to everyone who reads this blog. Those of you who left me comments after my first post out of the hospital, I want you to know I truly appreciate it. You guys are the reason I love this sport so much. From the outside it can look so imposing and even hostile, but once you are inside it, the only word to describe it is...family. Thank you all for being a part of mine.

The UCLA Adventure

2009-03-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, 17 March I went to UCLA to talk to their specialist about closing my PFO. At least, that is what I thought was happening.

I was extraordinarily excited to see this doctor at UCLA. Of course, UCLA has a great reputation. They are a teaching hospital, they attract some of the best and brightest doctors in the world to their programs. All of the research I had done on PFO closure had been published by Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, a premier cardiac hospital in this country, but if anyone on the west coast and certainly in the Los Angeles area (where I live) is capable of performing the same procedures it has to be UCLA right?.....Right?

When I was ushered into the room there were two Doctors sitting in the room eager to meet me. That alone was a bit of a red flag. I was there to meet Dr. Jonathan Tobis who has a rather impressive resume and is the only doctor at UCLA dealing with PFO closure. Dr. Tobis was one of the two in the room along with a resident who was assisting him. The review of my condition, watching of my TEE film and discussion of options quickly blended into what felt like a sales pitch for the Clinical Trial or "Study" that it turns out I am a perfect candidate for.

UCLA is performing a study to help qualify a new device that "could potentially" be used for PFO closure if it is ever given FDA approval. The Doctor Went on to tell me that the FDA has not approved ANY devices for the closure of a PFO in this country. He told me that if I join the study I would get a 50/50 chance. Half the study participants would get drug treatment and half would get surgery using a "new" device unlike the one that Cleveland Clinic uses and has had great success with already. 50/50 odds when I already know I need to have my condition fixed and I do not want to be on drugs for the long term are just not acceptable.

So I left UCLA that day a bit disheartened, pardon the pun. The next morning I called a phone number that was on one of the pages I printed out from Cleveland Clinic. I just randomly cold called hoping to get some answers. To my surprise, I did. A very helpful guy told me everything I could have ever wanted to know over the phone. He told me that it is true that the FDA does not want to approve a device for PFO closure because it is a "common" defect and only a small percentage of those with the problem suffer ill-effects. But the fix can be done using devices that are perfectly safe and approved for use in the heart for the repair of an Atrial Septal Defect (ASD). They use these devices "off-label" to seal a PFO rather than the ASD.

The guy from Cleveland told me that they are also involved in studies to get devices approved for sealing PFO, but given my condition they would not hesitate to offer me the choice to join the studies or to just GET IT FIXED using the tried and true methods. He also told me that UCLA should have offered me a similar option rather than only offering me the study. In my mind, that confirmed my bad feelings about that experience.

So I went back to doing some research and found an article from a few years ago wherein a doctor at Cedars Siani performed a PFO closure using the same techniques, using the same device that Cleveland Clinic uses to treat someone within my same age range. Not a study, not some trial to get something approved, not horrible drugs but a fix and the guy is doing great now. Immediately I contacted Cedar's and began asking them questions. They told me that the doctor in the story is indeed THE ONLY doctor who has done PFO closure for them. The only problem is that he is out of the country and does not come back till 15 April. So I will see him on......guess when......15 April. I am being cautiously optimistic, because I know how my optimism turned out with UCLA. Till then, I will continue with the horrible drugs and keep moving forward.

If Cedars does not work out, next stop......Cleveland.

A Hole in my Heart.....Literally

2009-03-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since my last post: Hopefully this explains why successfully and with any luck there wont be such a gap again.

Irony is a bitch:

Just a few hours after that last post, I had another TIA. Only much worse. Just after midnight Monday night / Tuesday morning (however you want to quantify it) I woke up feeling that oh so familiar "something is very wrong" sensation. The entire right side of my body was completely numb. From my face all the way down to my foot, everything was numb. I knew immediately what was happening. Of course knowledge turned to fear as I had just experienced a TIA within the last 24 hours, could this be a massive stroke coming to do me in at last?

I woke my wife up, rather ungracefully, and called my neurologist right away. He told me to head to the emergency room and that he would call ahead, get me thru the wait and get me admitted. When we arrived, we made our way thru the metal detector and the human wasteland that is the Antelope Valley Hospital emergency room and got to the check in window. I announced that my doctor should have called ahead for me.

The woman at the desk asked me what I was there for and I told her I was suffering either a stroke or a TIA. She said "Well its not a stroke, if it were you would not be able to talk". I then said "really? I've had 5 of them, how many have you had?" and that seemed to get things moving. True to my neurologist's word, we were ushered right thru and did not wait in the ER waiting room at all. We were taken back to an ER bed immediately and I was given the requisite blood thinners and bevy of tests.

A few hours later I was taken upstairs to the room they had waiting for me and was told that an MRI was scheduled for the morning. The night RN urged me to try to get some rest, which is of course impossible. A hospital is no place to rest and get well.

The next morning I was taken for an MRI and an MRA which I had never had. The MRA basically looks at all the blood vessels in the brain using the MRI machine. Luckily the results of both were negative. Meaning there was no new damage. The numbness had already begun to fade and was now just in my right cheek, hand and foot. Classic TIA. What a relief.

Later that morning, my cardiologist stopped by to see me. He said that since I am already in the hospital, he wanted to go ahead and perform the TEE test that we had scheduled for Friday but to move it to the next morning. Since I already have a room, and some comfy clothes on, we might as well take advantage.

TEE:

So the procedure went smoothly, there were no complications or mishaps. Afterword in recovery, the tech asked me if the Dr. had come by to see me to discuss what they had found...nope. That sounded ominous. Then the nurse did the same thing. Now curiosity is setting in as anaesthesia is wearing off.

Later on, back in the room, a hematologist came by to see me. He told me that the cardiologist had found a PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale). A PFO is a small hole between the two atriums of the heart. Everyone has it in the womb, its necessary before birth but after birth it is supposed to seal shut and in most people it does. It is estimated that anywhere from 12-15% of the population at large walks around with a PFO, but very few of those people every suffer any ill-effects from it.

In my case, this hole between the atriums allows bad blood and small clots from one side of my heart to escape to the other side. This bad blood and these small clots then travel to the good side and then straight to the brain. Small clots going thru the brain equal TIA or Strokes. PFO is also related to migraine. In many studies the relationship is huge.

What Now?

Wow. A reason. It was a shock to hear that I had a hole in my heart but at the same time it was almost a relief. Now there is something tangible something that we can see. Something we can fix? As soon as I heard the words, I called my wife, I called Friends at work and got everyone researching. Looking for everything to do with PFO.

We found all kinds of literature from the Cleveland Clinic about PFO and what they are doing to close them now. There is some encouraging information and recovery time is minimal because they can do it thru a cath now. The Doctors set me up to see a specialist at UCLA just as soon as I got out of the hospital (More on that in the next post).

Knowing my condition, the doctors put me on Coumadin (a gnarly anti-coagulant) which makes you live like your in bubble wrap. I cant do anything I like to do. Nothing very active that can cause bruising or god forbid, bleeding. Mountain biking is out, Kickboxing is out, BJJ is out. I cant do anything that involves risking bruising or bleeding. Its like being in prison. The sooner I can get this stuff fixed and get off the drugs, the better.

So late Friday night(March 13) , around midnight I escaped. I was finally released from the hospital. I was given my orders to see UCLA the following week about patching the hole in my heart, I was given my prescription for Coumadin and I was told to come to the lab every day so they can draw blood to check its level in my system. It was quite an ordeal but at least I have some answers. After three years of strokes for no good reason, I finally have something to actively pursue.

In my next post I will talk about what happened at UCLA and just how much of a pain it is to try to find a good place to get a PFO closed. Lesson learned....don't mess with Irony, it will get you back.

Postponed TEE and More De-De-De

2009-03-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

March 9, 2009

Today was supposed to be the day of my TEE (Transesophogeal Echocardiogram) test. That got put on hold because last night I had yet another TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) or mini-stroke. This one was not as severe as the others I have had in the past but it was pretty darn alarming.

It started off with my wife noticing me rocking side to side for quite a long time before the actual attack happened. I though I was sitting perfectly still but her cell phone video tells a different story. When the attack struck, I basically felt like I was drunk but without the benefit of getting drunk the fun way. Dizzy and a bit disoriented. This morning before I went to the Doctor's I actually stumbled over myself a bit.

So rather than having the TEE test today, it was back into an urgent care, another CAT scan, another visit to the Neurologist and on and on. So the Neurologist said that this one was definitely just a Migraine induced TIA and the CAT scan showed nothing. So, there is no need to get all worked up over it, you know except for the fact that it was a mini-stroke!!!

So the TEE will now be on Friday morning. We'll see how that goes. The Neurologist repeated again today that he does not want me doing BJJ at all. He asked if "there was some other sport" I could get involved in. It seems easy for someone who doesn't know to say something like that doesn't it?

Not giving up. Keeping my goals in mind. I will be back on the mats. I will beat this.

Some Answers...More Questions

2009-03-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

Cardiologist (3/5/09)

Got some test results today. Saw the cardiologist and found out I have a "leaky valve". While this is not the cause of my strokes it is a reason for my getting gassed way easier than most guys do even though I do a bunch more cardio type activity (all the cycling). While this is interesting and something to look at in the future, its not a big concern at the moment. For now, we need to find the root cause of my strokes.

The Echo cardiogram of my heart did not show a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) outright. It did show enough areas of concern, like the leaky valve, for the doctor to decide to proceed with the Trans esophageal Echo cardiogram (TEE) test. This should be a fun one. Basically, I go into the hospital, get knocked out and they shove an ultrasound device down my throat. They will be able to look at my heart from inside my digestive tract. It is basically an echo cardiogram from the inside. Freaky.

The good news is that if I do indeed have a VSD they will see it and we will be able to do something about it. Who knows what they will find. Perhaps nothing. If so, we are back to square one with the neurologist and the assumption that it is all in my head....in a manner of speaking.

Oh, and my blood work was just dandy. They took gallons and tested for everything under the sun, at least I know that I don't have anything odd at all. Dr.House would be so disappointed to have me as a patient as I don't think that even he could think of any other blood tests to run.

I have this surgical TEE test on Monday morning and a follow-up with the cardio doc on Wednesday afternoon. An appointment with the neurologist follows in the week shortly thereafter. With any luck answers are near, and a permanent regime of preventive measures as well.

Wish me Luck. And a big thank you to everyone for your support. It really means a lot to me. It can be a drag to keep plugging thru this muck but your well wishes have made it a bit easier. Thanks again.

All Tested for Now

2009-02-22T16:49:00.000-08:00

Getting Testy:

The MRI is done, and it shows what we had feared. Damage. Permanent damage. Enough for the Neurologist to definitely classify at least one of the attacks I've had as a stroke rather than a simpler TIA. The Cat Scan I had pretty much said the same thing but the MRI shows the newly empty sections in glorious, cavernous detail. The good news is that the scan showed no signs of a clot, tumor or other unwanted bit of nastiness. In fact, my "right cerebellum is unremarkable", so there's that.

So, what this means. My neurologist is obviously concerned that I am not just suffering from Migraine Induced TIA as has been the assumption we have been running under since September 2006. His reasons for doubting that diagnosis now is because with Migraine TIA's, it happens predominantly in Women and there is no damage. Well, I am not a woman, and there is definitely some damage.

That is why he is having me see a Cardiologist. It will be up to the Cardio Doc, to rule out any circulatory issues (clots and such) as well as to look at the possibility of a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). A VSD is basically a problem with the tissue that divides the ventricles of the heart and because of the complications, can cause stroke.

The Cardio Doc, took about another gallon of blood to test for another billion conditions that can cause stroke. Then he performed an Echocardiogram and some ultrasounds of my Carotids and various other spots. Hopefully they find nothing, but at the same time I kind of hope someone finds something. I desperately want some answers.

I will see the Cardiologist again in about a week for all of his results and then the Neurologist again the following week. So, until then I'm supposed to be the patient patient, plod along and wait. One bit of good news I received from my neurologist the last time I saw him was regarding my arm. I asked him what the prognosis of getting normal function back and he said "your young enough, it should come back eventually". No time frame, no promise. But some hope.

I'll give them another couple of weeks before I hound them again with questions of beginning BJJ again. But I will not wait to begin trying to rebuild function in my arm. I saw my 8 year old niece last night and I had not realized how much strength I had lost until she asked me to pick her up when we were playing. It was terrible feeling like I was limited. I have to believe that working on this arm will help rebuild those damaged pathways.

UFC Fight Night:

So Dr. Evil and his son came over to watch the fights last night. It was good to see him. We have not spoken much since I've been out of the gym. We watched the fights, traded stories about the gym and even had a spontaneous light roll on the living room floor afterword. I suspect its always kind of like that isn't it. You get BJJ guys together and inevitably, somehow, a roll will begin for no good reason.

It was funny. And again, painfully obvious that my arm is junk in its current state. A big thanks to Dr. Evil (enough Doctors already) for giving me a couple minutes of BJJ during this ordeal. Thanks to everyone for their support.

MRI Day

2009-02-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am back from my miniature vacation. I took my wife to San Francisco this weekend. I surprised her with the flight out, hotel and good tickets to see Wicked (the musical) up there. We had a fantastic time, and despite being delayed at LAX by a broken plane by almost two hours, everything went pretty smoothly.

We were able to hang out around Fisherman's Wharf, have lunch at one of her favorite places and just relax a bit. The show was great (just like the many times we saw it in LA) but the SF fans were pathetic. They didn't know to applaud when one of the principal characters entered for the first time, many of the great jokes fell flat, and the ovation at the end was kinda painful to get out of them. I must say, I was a bit disappointed in the SF fans.

I think my wife had a good birthday. I hope she was really surprised and enjoyed it.

Now we are back:

So, the saga continues. I had my MRI this morning and tomorrow afternoon I will once again meet with my neurologist to review the results. We will also be looking at the results of the tests he ran on the few gallons of blood he had taken out of me last week.

Wednesday, I go to see the cardiologist. According to my neurologist, I have a handful of fun sounding tests to undergo with the cardio doc, including a camera being shoved into my heart. We'll see. I'm sure I'll learn more Wednesday and go from there. All I can do is roll with it and trust that these guys know what they're doing and will find the answers we need to help me get back on the mats.

I need to get some activity going. It has been difficult lately with the Dr.'s appointments, work, and the trip I just took my wife on for her birthday. Hopefully some of this rain will pass soon so I can get some cycling in. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

Pressing on....In Suspense

2009-02-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

So on Monday I did one of the hardest things that any Jiu Jitsu players can do. I suspended my account at the gym. I didn't cancel it, I suspended it. While I am in limbo about my medical status and the permanence of my arm's wonkyness, I thought it best to not tempt fate and allow myself the chance to find a way to defeat this problem once and for all. I want to get better, hopefully regain some of the lost sensation / strength in my arm and make a triumphant return to the mats! I had to leave the gym just as the guys started warming up because it was just too much.

Tuesday I had an appointment with my normal neurologist. He is on a mission. He was more motivated than I have ever seen him. After we talked and reviewed my charts he was determined to find out what is wrong. I told him that I am seeing a cardiologist next week. It turns out that it is the same cardiologist that he sees personally. He called the cardiologist from right there in the room and told him what he wants him to look for and what he wants done to me. Basically a stress test and a bubble test (which I guess involves a camera being sent down into me to look for a clot traveling between the ventricles).

He also ordered blood work to test for anything that could possibly cause strokes in a person my age (33). The list he wrote was comically long, everything from Lupus to arthritis to insert random condition here. They must have taken a quart of blood, all in easy to extract single viles.

He is sending me for an MRI (Monday morning at 6:30) because in his words "CT scans are a waste of time and money with conditions like yours, they show damage sure but they don't show much else". I have a follow-up with him on Tuesday at 3:30 to review the blood-work and MRI, then its off to the cardiologist for that bunch of fun on Wednesday.

Sounds like a fun week huh? At least I am planning to get away this weekend. My wife's birthday is this Friday HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!!! So I am taking her out of town. I'm not telling her where, but we are going to get away from home for a day or so and hopefully relax and recharge.

A Stroke of.....Just a Stroke

2009-02-08T10:25:00.001-08:00

A bit ago, I wrote a post that touched on a bit of the medical stuff I grapple with outside of the gym. In this post (http://grappling-with-life.blogspot.com/2008/11/diagnosis.html) I talked a bit about my migraines and the mini-strokes I've suffered because of them.

Up until now, these events have come and gone without any real consequence. The T.I.A. (mini-stroke) happens, causes whatever effects and then within a few days everything is back to normal. Now, I have had a wide range of different symptoms result from these attacks; ranging from the most severe case of loss of speech, to the minor hassle of dizziness and disorientation. But the affects have always been temporary and cleared up within a few days.

Now, there has been a game changer. I just had another one this past week and unlike the others, it seems this time I did not emerge unscathed. I remember the moment of the attack. I remember the feeling of disorientation and dizziness. Then there was a numbness, weakness and tingling running down my right arm. It sort of feels like I slept on it wrong and it's now waking up.

After the dizziness and disorientation wore off, the feeling in the arm remained and I knew that I had just been thru another T.I.A. and the arm thing would be the lingering symptom. Like I said earlier, normally these things clear up after a few days....normally. Not this time. After about a week of feeling this same sensation I knew something was not as normal, so I went to the urgent care to make sure I was not in any serious trouble. I told the Doctor of my history and he sent me for the requisite Cat Scan. Now, I have had many Cat scans and MRI's because of this condition and they always end the same way, with the Doctor telling me that there is no lasting damage; to go home and everything should be ok in a few days.....not this time.

This time, the Doctor told me that I had two areas of infarction in the Basal Ganglia region of the brain. An infarction is a fancy term for loss of blood. This is where blood flow to these two areas was pinched off and they died. That's right two areas of permanent damage. The scary thing is in the fact that I have no idea what this could mean for the future. If I have a TIA in a region of the brain that controls vision for instance, I could permanently lose some or all of my sight. That is a frightening prospect.

I am hitting my doctors harder than ever now. I am determined to find the best answers I can. I don't know what this means for my BJJ. For now I think it means that don't know what it means. I know that my arm is bothersome and I am fearful of ALL blood chokes for obvious reasons. I know that my wife and neurologist have warned me away from it before. I know that I love it and I want to do it. I know I will do whatever I need to do.

At My Desk; Remembering Helio and 100 Burpees

2009-02-03T17:05:00.000-08:00

At My Desk:

Ok, so I've reached my breaking point, need to vent and this is my forum in which to do it. It has now been about three weeks since I have last trained. And I am going mad. As I type this I am sitting at my desk, yes that's right SITTING at my desk in cubicle hell. It is 5:33 pm right now and I wont leave here until at least 6:00 when guess what, BJJ class starts.

The past weeks have been murderous. I have mentioned before how the program I work on has been transitioning from one phase into another and with that change comes some intense increase in effort in the short-term to ensure that this new contract is being established correctly and will sustain the program throughout its lifetime.

That is all well and good, but the amount of time a hand full of us have spent on it (all salaried by the way) has been just crazy. We all worked so very hard to ensure that this new phase of the contract got awarded and now we are the ones who are charged with ensuring that it gets set-up. I guess the important thing is to take a step back and remember why I am doing this.

Now, I can neither confirm; nor deny that I have anything to do with the image above or that all of the blood, sweat and time away from the gym has been spent on making it the best damn aircraft it can be.

Today however I am especially upset. Today it was all my fault. My alarms are set to go off at 4:00am. I awoke at 6:30 to the sound of my wife's alarm clock. Being that she is in a much less "forgiving" job, of course she gets the first shower. So, I didn't get to the office till after 8:00am. My still being here today is all my fault. And that infuriates me. I was sooo ready to get back to the mats today. So one flogging for me!

Memorial:

The last time I posted I wrote about the untimely passing of a former boss and colleague, Steve Barton. The very next day I went down to a memorial service for him. I was awkward to see old co-workers but at the same time it was very nice. It felt good to pay my respects and to recognize the impact he had on my career and on my life.

Helio:

On the subject of loss, of course I cannot write a post today without recognizing the passing of Grand Master Heilo Gracie. Like so many others, I never met the man but he and his brother Carlos have had a profound impact on my life. I remember watching UFC 1 on a videotape I rented from my first job (yes I was a video store clerk) and being amazed at this scrawny kid named Royce plowing thru the bigger guys.

From then on, I knew Gracie Jiu Jitsu, I knew Helio Gracie. Though I have only been formally training in his art for a short while, I have known of many of its fundamentals for years. As any martial artist in any other art must know the fundamentals of Gracie Jiu Jitsu. Helio and Carlos created a game changer, they forced a fundamental shift in the strategies that martial artists must use simply by knowing of the existence of this art. Thank you for your contribution Helio, I will do my best to honor your legacy.

Tomorrow:

Tomorrow is another day. I am donating blood at work in the morning. At lunch, we are doing an all you can eat sushi gorge to celebrate the winding down of a very long cost estimating class. I have a handful of meetings. Finally I have the second to last session of that aforementioned cost estimating class. As of this moment it is scheduled to run from 4:00 - 5:00. Optimism is high that it will not run over, and that I will make it to BJJ for the 6:00 start time (against the advice of the red cross who does not want you doing strenuous exercise after giving blood).

100 Burpee Challenge:

One more thing, a while back another blogger I read named Valerie (http://bjjvisionquest2006.blogspot.com/) who I highly recommend mentioned something her crossfit gym was doing and being the age of copy / paste, I have instituted it with my friends. Neil, Kris and myself have started the 100 Burpee Challenge. Today is day #1. Wish us luck! I will keep everyone posted on our progress as we go. Thanks Valerie for the idea.

Cardio, Weights and Loss

2009-01-26T20:09:00.000-08:00

Home Gym (1/27/2009)

I left work late again tonight because a co-worker told me that he would be taking his son to Cedars Sinai tomorrow. His kid has been battling a heart problem all his young life and is facing the prospect of yet another surgery. So in order to support him and to get a critical report out on time, I stayed late (past the 6:00 BJJ start time) to get things wrapped up.

Cardio

So I went home and stuck to my guns. Since I couldn't scratch my BJJ itch I worked out in my home gym. I got on the treadmill and ran my little heart out. Now I generally have a rule about that. I DON'T RUN UNLESS SOMETHING IS CHASING ME!!! So, needless to say there will be no distances nor times posted here because they are quite embarrassing. The key point is that I got some cardio work done on a night that I would have previously written off.

Weights

After my running from nothing, I hit the weight machine and did an upper body circuit. I worked arms, chest and shoulders. I often joke that "I tried lifting weights once, but they're just so heavy". Honestly weight training has always been challenging for me. I find it tremendously difficult to get and stay motivated to do it. Tonight it was the work-out of last resort, so in a way I was "forced" to do it, and that helped me power thru it.

Bottom line I'm so glad I was able to stick to my commitment. Even though I missed BJJ, I did not falter in my plans. Normally, getting out of work and missing class would have derailed me. but tonight I was able to overcome it.

Loss

Tonight I also got a call from a friend and former co-worker that a former boss of mine passed away over the weekend. He had gone into the hospital with what he thought was a severe stomach flu. As it turns out, he had a severe and rare form of stomach cancer that was widespread and untreatable. By the end of the weekend he had passed. Steve Barton was only 62 years old and was looking forward to retirement this year. This kind of thing really makes you reflect on your own mortality and just how fleeting life is. It also makes you realize that things are not always as they seem; from stomach flu to untreatable cancer. You will be missed Steve.

The Slide Ends Here!!!

2009-01-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm the first to admit that the last few weeks have been, how can I put this....challenging. I've been working late most nights and definitely not eating right. Combine that with not being able to get to the gym because of the time (and because of MPH) and it wreaks havoc on me. Of course its winter so I'm not doing any cycling to counteract the lack of BJJ which makes me a completely sedentary lump. My cube mates and I have been so busy that we have not even been doing our lunchtime two mile walks in the hangar.

Of course I could have been mitigating some of the affects by watching my diet; but alas not the case. I've indulged in copious amounts of delicious yet deadly foods. My wife has stocked the fridge with wonderful, healthy foods and I have stocked the cabinet with dozens of takeout menus, guess which has won out as of late?

Bottom line: I'VE GAINED SEVEN POUNDS IN THE PAST THREE WEEKS!!!

What the hell? This ends today. I am getting back in control. No more sitting on the sidelines, no more passively deciding what to eat, no more excuses, no more MPH.

I need your help. Because I have classes at work on Tuesday and Thursday nights, I am re-dedicating myself to hitting the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I could use some help in maintaining accountability. If there is no post detailing some kind of strenuous activity on one of those days, someone please call me out on it!!! No excuses.

Warning: No Jiu Jitsu Content

2009-01-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

I should have had a T-shirt printed with that saying on it for last week.

Yup, my life was a Jiu Jitsu free zone this last week. Unless you count what goes on inside my heart or my head. Worked long hours so I didn’t get to the gym, even the one night when I could have made it I was so tired I just didnt have it in me. That’s not to say I didn’t do some good stuff. I bookended the weekends with some fun stuff, so at least I can write about that!

On Sunday 1/11/09 we went to see the finale of Wicked the musical in Los Angeles (sat right in front of Diane Keaton). This marks the 5th or 6th time my wife and I have seen the show. Needless to say we’ve enjoyed it each time. Enough to go back again and again. It was sad to see it knowing that this is the last time, unless we go to San Francisco now that its moving there.

The rest of the week at work was ridiculous. I mean crazy, hellacious, absurdly busy. Without going into detail that would be both boring and inappropriate, we in the land of DoD contracting often get bombarded (that’s punny) with existing and new work. Holidays are great, but the clean-up afterward is brutal. So I spent pretty much every day staying late to get caught up. Fortunately, I think I’m there.

On Saturday 1/17/09 my wife and I were off to see Jeff Dunham in Los Angeles. We went to see him last year in Long Beach so we had a fear that perhaps he would recycle a lot of the same material. Fortunately, he packed a bunch of new stuff into the set. It was like a homecoming for him, so he gave a great show. A lot of fun.

So no Jits, but a lot of other stuff. Mostly work, but hey it pays for the opportunity right? Anyway, weeks like this happen. The point is to not let them become a discouragement.

Structured Saturday???

2009-01-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

BJJ (1/10/2009 11:00AM)

So what was strange about this Saturday morning at the gym? Virtually everything, that's what. Normally when me and my fellow compatriots meet up for an hour or two of mat time, its the standard open mat format. But as I often say, the only constant is change.

To go along with the new year, the gym has now instituted a new schedule, which I am largely in favor of. It makes my life considerably easier. One thing that is very interesting is the addition of a Saturday morning (11:00AM) BJJ class. This class is then followed immediately by a nogi BJJ for MMA class at noon and then open mat begins at 1:00PM and runs thru three.

This is a drastic departure from the past schedule. You see, previously there was a 10:00 nogi class and then it was open mat afterward. That's it. Nothing else. Being one who has yet to feel comfortable enough yet in the gi to venture out of it for additional training, Saturdays to me were strictly for open mat. And that was fine. But now there was a choice. There is a gi class to partake in BEFORE the open mat, how perfect is that? So with a bit of gumption, Neil, Dr. Evil and I decided that we would meet up for that gi class, recover during the nogi portion and then hit the open mat. Sounds good right?

Warm-ups:
We began the warm-ups as normal felt like any other class. But once we passed the "easy" portion and hit the wall for the back and forth section, things got ugly. We didn't do anything out of the ordinary, the work out just didn't stop. Whenever we thought we were on the last exercise, there was one more waiting. And each time Kazeka and Fritz along with a crowd of onlookers laughing at our obvious pain from just off the mats. It seemed to be a "lets see just how much we can give them" kind of day. That's good every now and then, I guess today was the now.

Drills:
Today's drills were focused on Knee-on-Belly (KOB for the rest of this post). We worked on getting to KOB from side control properly. We also worked on getting the right posture once KOB is obtained. I was drilling with Dr. Evil and Chris who is a yellow and white belt kid (I'd guess 12ish) with amazing skill. His dad is Matt, one of the gym's Blue Belts and a great guy. Chris takes the adult classes with us all the time and rolls with all of us despite being only 3/4 our size.

Once we worked thru properly getting to the KOB position we worked on an armbar that is predicated on your opponent attempting to defend. There was one thing I really liked about this move and a couple of things that bothered me. First off, its a great armbar. The angles are there and it's easy to transition to. I had difficulty smoothly sweeping around the back and kept stutter stepping, but that's easily corrected.

What I didn't like was the fact that it was a countering attack. I need more of those but I also need some more purely offensive moves. I suppose that I could dig in for it but it seems to defeat the purpose and would probably rush things and ruin it. The next move was a Kimura from the same set-up that comes about when the armbar fails because the opponent defends. Again, offense predicated on defense from an overwhelmingly offensive position, but hey its a slick move so I'll put it in my bag of tricks.

Rolling:

I started off against Dr. Evil. As always it was a great battle. One day I need to get one of our rolls on video. If nothing else it will shatter my image of what we look like for the reality of the situation. Insert image of toddlers fighting over cake here. We are always changing leads, barely missing submissions, escaping, gaining positions; just very evenly matched. Always a learning experience and always a lot of fun. Stalemate.

My next round was with Chris, yes the kid. There is a heap of stress. On one hand, you don't want to hurt the kid, your friends son. On the other hand you don't want to get owned by a little kid who doesn't weight 100 lbs. or isn't near legal shaving age yet. This kid is awesome. What he lacks in strength he makes up for in technique and skill. He's quick, has amazing hips and his BJJ mind is always going. I managed to pull off an armbar on him and I felt so lucky. He was formidable to say the least.

Next up was Alex. I hadn't seen him since the "My Epic Night" post. He's a great guy and like many of us, life had kept him out of the gym for a while for a while so its good to have him back. When I got him he was already wiped out. He told me that he had nothing left so I told him that I'd just pull guard because I could use some work from there anyway. Alex outweighs me by quite a bit, he's probably walking around at about 220 or so and I'm holding at 163. So I had a big, tired guy in my guard. I was working to push the pace but he really was tired and postured up. Eventually I went for a sit-up sweep, didn't get it because he has an awesome base, he pushed me back down so I hipped out and managed to catch the Oma Plata. He rolled out of it, I rolled with him, hit it again, caught his hips and finished it.

Fritz then said: CHANGE PARTNERS ONE MORE ROUND!!!

So, this guy named Mark who is also considerably larger than me basically called me out. He came crawling over, and picked me. Now, the last couple of times we've gone he's pretty much had my number. He's got size and strength to his advantage but he's also pretty skilled. We were all exhausted and it almost felt like he was coming to me for an easy ending to the day. That made me kind of mad. I was so happy to disappoint. I really went after it with him. Even though I had nothing left, I dug deeper and refused to give in. We traded positions and had a very EVEN match. I know that caught him off guard. When the match ended with me in his guard, standing and working for a pass, I knew that his opinion of me had changed.

That was four rounds we did. Four, Five minute rounds. Since I work in finance I was able to do some calculations and I know that we rolled for 30 minutes!!! I know what your saying. Four times five is only twenty, how do you get to 30? Well, I'm sure that our gym is not the only one that forgets to look at the stopwatch while rolling. I know that it was 11:50 when we started and 12:20 when we ended, so somewhere in time ten extra minutes sank in. We certainly didn't rest for ten minutes.

Open Mat:
Yeah, that idea was out the widow. After the warm-up and the four rounds of sparring, we had nothing left. So, Saturday's might look a bit different from now on. Stay Tuned.

Keeping Consistent; Meeting Zeek

2009-01-07T21:30:00.000-08:00

BJJ (1/7/09 6:00PM)

Tonight was a continuation of the Butterfly Guard sweep we worked on Monday night. Its funny how Kazeka can teach the same move in very different ways each time emphasising very different, yet important, things. Much of the way he taught the technique tonight was quite different from how he taught it on Monday, and for that matter how he taught it a couple of months ago.

Tonight he showed how getting to Butterfly resembles going for a scissor sweep. Or a failed scissor can be an opening for it. I got the point. He needed an example for folks to help illustrate the necessity of hip escaping in order to make space to get into proper position.

I was paired up with Dr. Evil, oddly, he had never seen this sweep nor had he seen anything from this guard. That is really funny. It shows how fickle BJJ schools can be at times. Not that I am in favor of a strict curriculum 100% of the time, but to reach Blue Belt without having seen something that I have seen twice since I have been there illustrates the hit or miss nature of instruction at some schools. It also demonstrates why consistency in attendance is so important.

Specific Drills:

We did the standard Passing / Defense of the guard. I started on the wall and my first opponent was Dr. Evil on his back. I was able to pass with a double under (first time ever I've used it). Kazeka gave the Doc a bit of a tongue lashing for allowing me to pass his guard. So I felt a bit bad for that but I felt good to have a pass.

My turn to defend ended almost as quickly as it began. I had some pretty decent hip movement but to no avail, I opened my guard began looking for opportunities but got too loose and gave up the pass. The rest of the drills saw me getting swept each time. I got caught in the sit-up sweep twice tonight. I should pull that one out and try it live more often, it seems to work for other people.

Rolling:

My only real roll tonight was with Dr. Evil. "Big" Mike wanted to roll but called me just after the Doc had so I gave him a rain check for another time. I like rolling with Mike because he is so big and so strong that I am forced to be quick and forced to use technique in order to just survive. The last time I rolled with him I had ah Epiphany about head and hip control and my scrambles have been exponentially better ever since.

The Dr. and I started from the knees. He began to pressure into me so I sloppily tried to pull him into a guillotine choke. He avoided perfectly and pressed into side control. I landed on my side, shrimped my hips out and managed to get to half-guard. Facing the outside. I immediately switched my hips, faced the inside and began to fight for grips while getting to the deep half guard.

He kept trying to flatten me out but I was able to persist in staying on my side, scooting my hips out and I got the under hook. At one point I actually realized that I was in the correct half-guard position!!! I had a deep under hook, I was blocking his other hand and there was nothing stopping me from taking his back. So I started to go. He sensed this as well and the scramble began. I was in a superior position and ended up in side control.

I mentioned before that side control is probably my best position. I was able to get there and get my shoulder pressure established but he was quick and got me to half guard, trapping my right leg. I increased the shoulder pressure while I worked to free my leg. During that time I snaked my left arm under his neck and was able to grab his opposite shoulder. I began to exert so much pressure that he eventually gave up the mount to get me out of side control. I already had the grip around the back of the neck I started to go for and became obsessed with the Ezekiel. Even though I had many other options in front of me, I was fixated on that Ezekiel. When I finally had it locked in, the Doc was finally able to upa me over after numerous attempts. And then the dreaded "TEMPO" was called.

All in all, a great roll for me. I felt really good about it. I still need to work on my guard passing and my mount retention though this time we held it for quite a while.

Normality Creeping Back

2009-01-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

BJJ (1/5/09 6:00PM)

So tonight was the first night of class after a full work day in this new year. Back to normality. While I really enjoyed being able to go to the 9:00 am classes during the holiday break from work I did miss the camaraderie of the normal group of guys at the nightly 6:00 pm class. Again, BJJ forms much more of a family family atmosphere than any other sport.

Tonight we worked on a butterfly guard sweep. The one and only other time I have learned anything about butterfly guard in class it was this very sweep. At least this time it felt a lot better. I was getting my movement down a lot crisper and was able to get to the butterfly position without too much hassle.

The last time I drilled this technique I was paired up the "Big" Mike, the name doesn't apply any longer because he's been on a BJJ and Fitness kickboxing diet and has dropped a substantial amount of weight. This time I chose someone much taller than I (not hard to do) and went with Bill. I figured that it would be good for both of us to have very different body types to adapt to...and it was.

The drills went great. I felt good, my sweeps were crisp and we were both using leverage and NOT strength. At one point Kazeka made us not trap the sweepee's arm in order to allow them to post so that we could see that the technique works, even if they try to defend. The awkward part of that is knowing what to do with your own hand. Once I grabbed his lapel I was good to go and sweeping thru his defense like a Janitor thru Time Square confetti on New Years Day.

Rolling:

We started off by doing Guard Pass / Submit or Sweep drills with a twist. The guy on bottom had to start with one hand tied up in his belt. The point being obviously to use the hips more. I started off on top against "Not-so-Big" Mike; yeah not the same...back to "Big" Mike. He still has unbelievable gorilla strength after all. Anyway, I stood up in his guard and was pressuring his hip to make him open up when he released a "chemical weapon", embarrassed he chuckled, which made me chuckle but then spurned me on to pass his guard rather rapidly.

I then went on to have my guard passed just before the two minute time limit, by Brandon (who got a stripe tonight...congrats!).

I had a great time trying to pass Jerry's (who also got a stripe...congrats!). He worked everyone over. He is masterful at spider guard in regular rolling but even one handed, he's a phenom. I want to work on my game and get it there. He got me in an Oma Plata, I rolled, he rolled, caught me and finished. Just awesome.

We then did two rounds of rolling to finish the night. I went against "Sarge" (Ruben) to start, he always gets my back right off the back, and did again. I turned over into his mount, Upa'd out but left an arm too exposed and gave him an Armbar appetizer to start the night.

Next we started off, and went for much more of a see saw, and when it finally finished I had worked into his guard. That is a win against "Sarge" any time. He just got another stripe the other day and should be getting his Blue very soon. And deservedly so.

I went with Bill next. I'm 5'7" and Bill is 6' a lot with long legs. As soon as we started he pulled guard. As I posture up, he's able to break my posture down. I began to realize something as he did this. As much as I want to improve my guard game, I really NEED TO WORK ON MY GUARD PASSING. Perhaps I need to add that to my list of goals of 2009. Consider this an addendum. Especially because he was able to break me down, latch onto and isolate my right arm and basic armbar me. Tap.

Next we start again, de ja freakin vu, he pulls guard again. Starts to go for the armbar again. Luckily I am able to start defending right away. I get my arm tight to me, put my other hand to his thigh, start to stack, get him over to his side and pass. Finally, I am in side control. I start to put some tremendous shoulder pressure down while faining a pass to mount. All the while I am setting him up for either an Americana or wristlock on the far side. He started to push into my hip with his hand underneath me and I felt the opportunity to go for the wristlock there, just as I went for it Kazeka called time. So close yet so far. At least I had a few places to go.

I was better able to relax tonight. Hopefully I can keep it up and the stress of normal life doesn't become a cumulative thing that builds up and inhibits performance / learning.

Back to Real Life

2009-01-05T11:51:00.000-08:00

At Work (1/5/09)

Well, its Monday. Like many people I'm back at work after a bit of a break. This marks the official end of "Gauntlet Week" as Neil and I were calling it. We had intended to hit it hard and attend class each morning that the gym was open leading up to new years day and to do open mat the following Saturday. We both had issues that kept us from action during that week...his sausage toe for a day and my Migraine for one, but we made a good run at it.

I did realize one thing during this time when I wasn't working and was able to attend BJJ without putting in a full work day first. I wasn't nearly as stressed or feeling the same mat anxiety as normal. Could there be a pattern here? I'll try to be cognizant of this for a while and see if there is in fact a correlation.

I know that BJJ is an excellent method for relieving my stress from work, but on the other hand is all that stress from work inhibiting my BJJ? I never thought of that pickle before. That feeds right into my underlying theory....STRESS IS BAD.

Perhaps instead of getting an MBA, I should have studied psychology. It seems I have the knack (on vinyl none the less). Well, like I espoused in my post about goals for 2009; Relax. Easier said than done I know. So, I'll take it one day at a time and see how it goes. I'll start with tonight. I'll hit the mats at 6:00 and consciously try not to be conscious about anything. I will just be. Man, I'm sounding like some kinda granola eating, Birkenstock wearing, patchouli stinkin hippie. Hey, if it helps my Jiu Jitsu, pass the beads.

Please don't take any of that too seriously. I guess that's the point isn't it? don't take it too seriously. Relax, flow, let the learning happen. Stress only stops the progression. So stressing about stressing can only doubly inhibit performance. Stress tenses up muscles, inflames blood vessels and drains energy. All the things that lead to flat out poor grappling.
Like I said in my thesis above: STRESS IS BAD

Good Morning Wrist Lock, Hello Oma Plata

2009-01-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

Open Mat (1/3/2009 10:00am)

The Doc and I met up for Open Mat. Neil wasn't able to come because his wife is under the weather and in his words he's "playing Mr. Mom". Hopefully she doesn't read this, actually I could use the readership....Neil, sign her up.

Dr. Evil and I met up, did a ridiculously long warm-up and started in on technique drills. We did the same drill as described on 12/22/08.

Armbar/Armbar Defense to Side Control/ Side Control Escape to Takedown/ Side Control Escape to full Guard/ Repeat

We did this drill till we both got tired and our technique began to suffer. Then we moved on to another submission series flow drill from the guard.

Armbar
Back to Guard
Triangle
Back to Guard
Oma Plata
Repeat, attacking the other arm

While doing this we were having trouble rationalizing the way that we were setting up the triangle. It seemed like we were leaving way too big a hole to allow for an easy guard pass. We knew something was wrong. We made a mental note to ask Kazeka how we were messing it up. To keep going, I showed the Dr. a setup that I learned from the Ryan Hall triangle e-mails I've been getting wherein you set up almost like a scissor sweep, trapping an arm, but launch a triangle instead. So we incorporated that into the drill.

Again, we did this for quite a while until we began to break down in stamina and technique. Then we opted for a "light" roll. Amazingly, we kept it pretty light for once. We started from the knees and as always we are pretty evenly matched. Its strange. I can have so much trouble with non-experienced white belts but I hold my own with the Doc. Likewise, he can plow thru so many folks but he struggles with me and my lowly single stripe. Pretty strange, alternate universe kinda stuff.

The only tap was on our first roll when he got mount and I wasn't quite fast enough in escaping. He caught me in an Americana. I tapped mostly from gassing but he had a legitimate lock. The next roll went for like 10 minutes non-stop. Back and forth. I half-way got his back, he mounted, I escaped. A real see saw battle. We finally ended with me on top in side control fishing one hand into his lapel and wrapping the other around an arm. At which point he called TEMPO, and I agreed, even though I was the closest I had been all day to a good submission.

At the end Kazeka was at the side of the mat and we asked him to show us what we were doing wrong with the triangle, its now clear as day. Here was my one submission of the day. While we were showing Kazeka what we were doing wrong, he received a phone call so he was half watching us half talking on the phone. At which point, the Doc and I began to monkey around. He was in my guard and started trying to pass. I started breaking his posture, fishing for an arm, he resisted....and there it was. The perfect opportunity to pull off the wrist lock Kazeka had just taught us on New Years Eve. I locked it in and Dr. Evil Tapped. Kazeka started laughing, which made me laugh (didn't mean to) and he described what just happened to the person on the phone. It was my own little play by play.

Kazeka asked me "did you just use that wrist lock I showed you last week?", I told him I did and he was so amused. At least I finally did something good in front of him, the only bad thing was that it was at the Dr.'s expense. Needless to say I like this wrist lock. And doing those drills I also have formed a love of the Oma Plata. I half pulled one off in live rolling, got to the sweep any way, and I had one the other day. I'm going to have to play with that one a bit more regularly. I think I have good enough hip movement to make it work.

Goals for 2009

2009-01-02T22:49:00.000-08:00

Goal Setting (1/2/2009)

I'm not one for waxing nostalgic. Not one for waxing anything really; cars, moustaches, surf boards, lower back hair....but now I'm getting off topic. This time of year its natural, because the media tells us, to review the year that has past and to look forward to what is coming in the next.

Far be it for me to shrug my duty to dwell on my shortcomings and to make plans to better myself so here we go! Please realize I am typing with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I do not make resolutions. Those should be left to marketing professionals who need to sell gym memberships and weight loss meal delivery plans. I set goals.

In my business life I set, as many do, SMART goals. That is, they are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. I go thru this whole process in evaluating and setting the goals with different intervals wherein I will check back and gauge my progress. With BJJ however, well its a bit more fluid of a thing. I cant make a goal that says "Master the Triangle choke by June 1, 2009" and have that be anywhere near valid. So I set a path of areas to focus on and improve. So, keep that in mind and take a look below. From time to time I will post reports on how I am progressing in the areas I have listed.

Here is a quick summary of 2008:

Beginning weight 195, Ending weight 162 (33 lbs.)
Met a lot of great folks
Got a fancy stripe on my belt
Had so many work outs that I never thought I'd survive
Learned so much
Taught some of what I learned
Had a couple of mini strokes (TIA)
Wanted to train even more

Here are my BJJ related goals for 2009:

Become a better BJJ player (Easy one eh?)
Train more consistently
Attend minimum of 3 classes/week
-Attend Open Mat more frequently (it rocks)
Improve my guard game
-Work on it every session
-Drill techniques at open mat
-Start some rolls from guard
Make the Triangle my go-to submission
-Train it weekly
-Try it in rolling / record results
Improve my conditioning
-More BJJ classes
-Fitness kickboxing classes
-More cycling (Mountain / Road)
Keep my head in the “right” place
-Allow the flow back in my rolling
-Don’t let mat anxiety freeze me up
-RELAX!!!
Get more photos during training
Write more
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There they are, my goals. Those are the things I want to work on. Some are concrete and measurable like the number of training sessions but most are intentionally vague because our sport is organic. Learning in our sport is organic. Progress in our sport slows when you push too hard. Its the paradox of force. So I wont force it, I will put myself in the best position to learn and improve these things and it should happen. So wish me luck and please help to keep me accountable.

Last Class '08

2008-12-31T11:40:00.000-08:00

BJJ (12/31/08 9:00AM)

So this was it. The last training of 2008. There were four of us on the mats today. Myself, hence the post, David (previously Dan/Dave) and Neil. Which reminds me, I forgot to mention why Neil failed to show up to train yesterday. It seems that somehow during rolling on Monday morning his toe got hurt and looks like it might have one of those pesky hairline fractures that we have all had. To use his words, yesterday it looked like he had a "sausage toe". Today the swelling had subsided enough and given way to bruising so, time to train.

Warm-ups:
We began warm-ups as normal. But today we were being led by Kazeka. Our head instructor, our coach, our general. After the "easy" part of warm-ups (where my brain malfunctioned yesterday) rather than heading to the wall for the traditional rolls, shrimps, monkeys and the like, our fearless leader had something else in store for us.

Kazeka announced that we would be doing "50/50's" meaning that the first fella would pick a type of push-up and we would do 50 of them, the next guy would pick a type of ab exercise and we would do 50 of those, then guy number three picks yet another push-up variant for 50 more reps of joy to lead us into guy number four's final 50 amorous abdominal adventures.

It went like this:
50 Standard push-ups
50 Kick-outs
50 Push-ups with the hands making little diamonds
50 Bicycles

Kazeka stood there in a state of Schadenfreude, watching our bodies collapse. He asked "Was that enough or do you want to do one more round?" Being that we are not very bright and we were all feeling pretty gung ho, we said of course we want to do one more.

It went like this:
50 Kunckle push-ups
25 Kick-outs to the right 25 Kick-outs to the left
50 Side to Side push-ups
50 Banana boats (which ended up being about 70)

My arms are still like over cooked pasta as I sit here typing. I have NO upper body strength as it is, and this exercise in arm destruction was particularly brutal. But I love these days. We may all complain and cry, but really, who doesn't love to push and see just how much they can do?

Drills:
Then we started training, wrecked bodies and all. Kazeka showed us wrist locks from a standing position. Starting when an opponent grabs your lapels (or shirt in a practical application) to secure the wrist with one hand, come behind the elbow with the other to apply pressure then with both hands drive that pressure into you to finish the lock.

This move was very reminiscent of my Japanese Jujutsu days. But in that training, we would have never let go of the wrist. I must admit that I have really come a long way in being able to "unlearn" what I have learned from other systems when int comes to my BJJ training. In the beginning I used to get hung up quite a bit between the way the Japanese art did things versus BJJ. Now, I have a deeper understanding of the "why" behind the "how" so it is a lot easier to just do it.

Kazeka then showed us how this wrist lock can be used from virtually any position. He showed it to us from the guard, from side control really anywhere that your opponent grabs on to you. I love this lock. Being on a quest to ever improve my guard game, this gives me yet another weapon to have at my disposal. One thing I loved when I was working with Neil from my guard on this was, if I would go for the lock and miss there was something else there.

There was an instance in going for the lock that it slipped and I had an Oma Plata. There was another time when going for it when if it failed I could have finished with a triangle. So many options. Its great to have another tool in my limited tool belt to pick from. It gives a bit of confidence that when I attempt something and it fails, not all is lost.

We worked on drilling this technique for the entire rest of the class. When we looked up it was already fifteen minutes past the scheduled end of class. David had already left. Neil and I told Kazeka, who had snuck behind the desk, that we needed to be getting on with the day. He came back to the mats, sat down and we all sat there for a few minutes having a pretty informal chat. One of those moments you typically don't get enough of with Kazeka. We sat and laughed, helped move some mats so that our new Octagon MMA cage can be properly set up by Monday, and called it a day; a year. No rolling, no epic battles. A pretty mild, relaxed day.

All and all, great way to spend the last class of the year!

Stupid Brain

2008-12-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

BJJ (12/30/08 9:00am)

Didn't sleep very well last night. BJJ on the brain. But I woke up surprisingly well rested and ready to roll. I was really focused on Jiu Jitsu this morning. Today I was prepared to let it all hang out when rolling. I was going to initiate, take chances, be loose and be aggressive. Basically, I was in a good place mentally. Lets head to class!

When I arrived at the gym, I noticed that Neil wasn't there. I figured that something must be wrong, we'll get to that later on. There were four other guys in the line up this morning plus Fritz and Carl leading us. The gym was a meat locker this morning. I like it on the cold side, so that's fine with me but its fun to watch the warm weather guys struggle.

We began warm-ups. Nothing out of the ordinary. Jogging, high knees, high heels, sideways, push ups, jumping jacks, jumping jacks to the front, jumping jacks kicking to the front, to the side, clapping under the legs, rotating wrists and ankles.......and then it happened. I realized that I couldn't see anything.

There goes my brain again, getting in the way. For those who don't know, I suffer from too many neurological conditions among them are Migraine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migraine) with Aura (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migraine_with_aura). The Aura precedes the onset of the pain phase of a migraine with delightful disturbances in vision that in my case look like geometrically formed lightening bolts across my field of view. It starts off small and gradually increases in size until it overwhelms the entire field of view. The fun part is that, you still see these lightening bolts with your eyes closed. Because its in the brain, not in the eyes.

So, I had to excuse myself from the mats, pop my rescue med (which is always in a handy container on my key chain) and sit in the cool, dark, heavy bag area with my head covered until my vision cleared up. How embarrassing. I hate it when my condition takes me away from doing things I love, but I hate it even more when it makes a spectacle of me. I don't want that kind of attention and when you tell people "I cant see" or "I'm getting a migraine" they don't understand.

When people hear the term migraine, they often think of the diluted word that is used by many to describe common headaches rather than sever clinical, neurological bombs. I am always fearful that people are lumping me into that group. That they don't understand the realities of my condition.

Anyway, there is one last training session for me in this year...I intend to make it count!!! My next post will be an account of that class. Following that post will be a recap of the year and a look at my goals for 2009!

Good Morning Jiu Jitsu

2008-12-29T22:35:00.000-08:00

BJJ (12/29/08 9:00 AM)

So, being off for the week leads to some interesting opportunities. Normally I am hours into a long work day by 9:00am on a Monday, but today I was able to don my Kimono and hit the mats for BJJ class in lieu of my normal 6:00pm time slot.

Traditionally, I am not too much of a "morning athlete". The last time I attended an early class (6:00am a few months back) I was quite nauseous the entire time and had absolutely no gas. I am one of those people that just cant eat in the early morning, if I do I have a upset stomach all day long. No food before training = no energy for training; so do the math.

Fortunately, 9:00am doesn't seem to be too bad for my system. I'm used to riding my desk pretty vigorously by that time so what's a little added exertion?

It seems people are still taking holiday time off from training too. Neil and I made a pact to attend Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday 9:00am, this week to finish out the year strong. Besides the two of us there was one other guy I've never trained with and being that I am terrific with names, I'll venture a guess that his was Dan....or was it Dave.....whatever it was, he is one heck of a nice guy and was great to roll with.

We ran a perpetual motion drill for the entire class until it was time to roll. The drill was all about movement and it broke down like this:

Guy #1: Armbar from guard
Guy#2: Defends Armbar, stacks Guy#1, Passes to Side Control
Guy#1: Escapes side control to the knees, shooting taking Guy#2 down to Side Control
Guy#2: Escapes side control by hipping and regaining guard
Drill Repeats with Guy#2 now initiating the Armbar

We rotated among the three of us for a while until Blue Belt Carl came in to help out his brother Fritz (our Purple Belt Instructor); at which point Carl and I drilled. I love these perpetual motion drills because it really helps with the repetition that you need in BJJ.

Rolling:

In my never ending quest to get better at the guard, I started each exchange from the guard. Its great that everyone is always willing to let me pull when I put it out there. If I say "hey I'm working on my guard, do you mind if I pull?" I have never once had anyone disagree.

First I went with Dan/Dave and it was pretty good. I didn't pull of any of the sweeps or subs I went for but I was feeling pretty comfortable in looking for things and regaining control when my attempts failed.

Second was with Neil and his monkey-like strength. We had a pretty good roll going. Of course my guard game got sloppy and he passed like universal health care in an Obama administration. He got to mount, when I was hipping out of it he half got my back and sunk in a collar choke from the back. Thank god we drilled all those escapes a few weeks ago. I was able to weasel my shoulder in, turn into the choke and get into his guard.

Third I was with Carl who was awesome. He actually coached me into tapping him out. He showed me things as they were developing. He gave me new eyes while we were rolling. Showed me what I was missing and helped me recognize opportunities I was missing because I was too dang tired. THANKS CARL!!!

Post-Christmas Jits

2008-12-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

Open Mat (12/27/08 10:00am)

Neil and I met up for open mat on Saturday. The gym has limited hours during these holiday times so we decided to take advantage while we can. There were no normal classes on Saturday (i.e. No gi, Fitness Kickboxing) but instead open mat ran from 9:00am to 1:00pm. That's pretty awesome. Actually, I wish the open mat time was like that every week. I find that time invaluable because I really learn a lot in that environment.

Neil had said that he had wanted to learn from me so, that was interesting. Particularly because at times I feel like I don't really know anything!!! But as it turns out I had plenty of things to show him. He wanted to work primarily on sweeps from guard and on some side control escapes. Both of those are things that I always want to work on because of how practical and necessary they are.

We went over the pendulum sweep; he got that one down pretty well quickly. We also did the normal scissor sweep and thanks to my new Jiu Jitsu University book (Thank you Saulo Ribeiro) we worked on a nifty sweep from the guard that makes it easy to take your opponent's back. I love that book. It doesn't teach anything new and flashy but it sure puts the polish and perspective one things.

We reviewed different side control escapes and I helped him work on his phobia of being trapped in side control. This was good for both of us. I have always had a really strong side control so working with someone who is really wanting to learn to escape was beneficial for me in terms of positional awareness when I get it. Also, who doesn't hate being in side control? It sucks. So why not work on getting out of it whenever you can.

We did take some time and I taught Neil that choke the Doctor and I learned from Dennis during the last open mat. I was actually pulling it off pretty well this time. I like it now and I think I will be using it during rolling as situations arise.

We finished the session off with some specific drilling. Starting from guard, the other would try to pass while we would attempt to sweep, submit, retain guard or just survive. It went well. Neil did an awesome job. He tried out a nifty choke from inside my closed guard that worked surprisingly well, so we'll try that out some more and report back later.

Judo Night Makes a Comeback

2008-12-22T20:30:00.000-08:00

BJJ (12/23/08 6:00pm)

Our head instructor Kazeka Muniz, besides being an all around bad ass, holds a black belt in Judo as well as his BJJ black belt. Not only is he belted, he's quite accomplished as a judo player. In fact, when I first started training with him (we were under the Gracie Barra banner) every Wednesday night was known by the guys as "Take-down" or "Judo" night because all we did on Wednesday were throws. Brutal, bone crushing throws.

Over time, the attendance at the Wednesday night classes started to dwindle, Kazeka was traveling to train Michael Bisping for his UFC fights, and not too many of the guys complained that they weren't being thrown on their heads any more. As a result "Judo Night" went by the wayside.

Well, last night we had a bit of a reprisal. When I got to the gym, the kids class was in full swing. And there they were, chucking each other over their shoulders like coffee farmers unloading gigantic sacks from the days harvest. I watched for a minute, the remembrance of "Judo Night" and my time spent at the Japanese Ju Jutsu school all began to flood back. I knew to take extra time in stretching out my back and preparing to RELAX.

So after a pretty intense warm-up we began the training. I think that Dr. Evil and I were probably the only guys in there who have been through Judo Night before. The rest of the class had never experienced the joys of being thrown over an opponents shoulder.

When I asked the Boss what the name of the particular throw we did was he said....."shoulder throw" and I let it go at that. When I looked up throws online, according to a couple of sites it seems that we were doing the Ippon Seoinage. Just a single shoulder throw.

The really cool thing was that I picked right up like I had been doing them the entire time. Kazeka even said "Perfect" a couple of times when he was watching me. That was pretty awesome. I''m hoping that Judo Night makes a comeback in 2009.

Thawed Out but Still Dripping

2008-12-20T13:45:00.000-08:00

Open Mat (12/20/08 12:00pm)

Dr. Evil agreed to meet me for open mat today. I really needed it. Unfortunately Neil couldn't be there because he had to attend a funeral. Sorry buddy, I'm thinking about you.

The Doc was wiped out from no gi prior to open mat and I am still fighting off the remnants of this cold. The congestion is suffocating me and the runny nose is irritating so after a few minutes it feels like we've been working for hours. That put us on pretty even footing for the session.

My goal was to work on my sweeps from the guard. Specifically, countering when an opponent attempts to pass. We began by warming up and reviewing the basics: Scissor, Pendulum, Sit-up, and the Doc showed me one that he always catches me in which is a variation of the pendulum.

The drills went well, we were both a bit drained for our own reasons. Toward the end of the session I asked the doc to just start trying to pass me and I would work to attempt sweeps, retain guard or submit. Basically, I wanted to be able to put some of these techniques to use in a "live" environment. Surprisingly, it went very well. Even when I didn't get the sweep I was able to come out on top in the scrambles that ensued. I remembered the Kimura option when your opponent defends the sit-up by posting forward, and I actually pulled it off!

Dennis, a strong blue belt showed us a vicious choke to pull off starting from the knees, standing or in a scramble. I don't even know how to explain it, and no one had a name for it, but this thing was brutal. Basically it involves snatching the head, shooting your own head and arm under, rolling yourself and your opponent over and ending up with a heck of a choke that resembles a clock-choke. We worked on this for about 15 minutes or so, until we were both hurt in one way or another, then went back to sweeps.

We were probably going at 80% or so, not for lack of trying, he was exhausted and I congested. Hopefully by Monday, I'll have lungs as clear as my mind and a body as strong as my willpower. Hey, I was pretty sick, I have to hope for small advances.

I think my next post will focus on my "GOALS" for 2009. I don't make resolutions, I have a systematic method for goal setting, so look for that to come. I'll be counting on all of you to help keep me accountable for attaining them.

Rolling with Mighty Whitey

2008-12-19T05:33:00.000-08:00

So we rolled. Now, I've hardly ever rolled with this one before. I must say just the sheer enormity, size and strength was intimidating. But there is something so fun about it. Living up here in the desert, we don't get a visit from him often so when he comes around we have to get in as much rolling as we can.

This week, he came and he came to dominate. This dude was cold. No matter what I did, there he was. No matter what trick I tried to pull, he had a counter. Cool and calculating.

Now I never roll with emotion, never with fire and anger. But when I finally started to I could feel him melting underneath me for a moment. But alas, he was too massive, I was mounted in what seemed a blanket of white. The pressure was too much; I had to TAP.

That's right folks...SNOW, in the middle of the desert. Not just snow, a bunch of snow. I've lived here for, well, too long now and I've never seen it like this. Needless to say, we are not well equipped to deal with such conditions in California's high desert so getting to work let alone training is questionable. But hey, we only get a good snow day once a decade or so; might as well enjoy it.

Sniffles, Sore Throat and Saulo's new Book

2008-12-15T17:32:00.000-08:00

Feeling sick as a dog today. I actually called in sick to work, spent the day on the couch watching bad TV, eating udon soup, and periodically thumbing thru Saul Ribeiro's new book Jiu-Jitsu University. I would like to have read more but it was just too hard to focus and I really want to absorb the content.

This book is amazing. I'm a very visual learner and the level of detail they put into each principal and technique are astounding. I have a number of other books from various Gracie's and other superstars; while I by no means wish to disparage their work, this book is just head and shoulders over them. In my humble opinion anyway.

The content of the book is laid out in a logical progression from white to black belt and focuses on the foundational strategies at each belt level, rather than just technique. I understand that the Ribeiro's created this to be used as a textbook to accompany their school's on the mat instruction and I think that is just brilliant. That is something I have long wished for, and when I participated in Japanese Ju Jutsu, we did something similar.

Anyway I cant wait to be over this head cold, or whatever it is. Sniffles and sore throats are the worst things in the world (at least at the moment).

Rolling with Metallica

2008-12-15T16:56:00.000-08:00

OK, so this post isn't as epic as the teaser title sounds but hey it was a great time. Read on and somewhere toward the end I will try to weave some BJJ relevance into my story.

So at some point during the week, I get this text message from Dr. Evil which basically read "My kid wont be able to go to the Metallica concert with me on Friday night, do you want to go?". It took all of 45 seconds for that to process thru my internal mental computer.

Being a lifelong metalhead, its a shameful admission that I must make here to explain why this is such a big deal. I have never seen Metallica in concert before. I survived Jr. High and High School buried deeply in Master of Puppets and And Justice for All. Being a fan for so long and never seeing the band in concert when I live this close to LA is inexcusable. And today, while I have probably the most eclectic musical taste of anyone I know, I still consider myself a huge fan even after that dark time of disappointment called the 90's and early 0's in which the boys in the band gave us nothing worth listening to.

Now, how is this BJJ relevant? Why does it belong in my blog? Well, first off I think that of any this was a good reason to miss training on a Friday night. Secondly, how often do we really get to know the folks we roll with away from the mats? I know many of you out there might have a different experience than I do, but for me its pretty much; go to the gym, see the guys, catch up, roll, laugh a bit, go home....repeat.

Being able to hang out with a teammate outside of the gym was an interesting adventure. Interestingly, we only talked about BJJ for maybe a combined total of 15-20 minutes. Not too bad. Here's proof that BJJ can bring folks together with common interests and they don't have to only have BJJ to talk about.

One last note on relevance; what better to listen to when getting ready to train? Ok that might be a stretch, but hey the show was awesome. So thanks to the Doc, see you on the mats.

Here are the show Details:
Metallica
Citizens Business Bank Arena
Ontario, CA

Here's the set list (A good mix of old and new):

That Was Just Your Life
The End Of The Line
Ride The Lightning
For Whom The Bell Tolls
One
Broken, Beat And Scarred
Cyanide
Sad But True
Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
All Nightmare Long
The Day That Never Comes
Master Of Puppets
Blackened
Nothing Else Matters
Enter Sandman
- - - - - - - -
Stone Cold Crazy
Whiplash
Seek and Destroy

Good to be Home

2008-12-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

BJJ (12/08/08 6:00pm)

So I hit the mats again last night after my substantial bit of time off as of late. It was good to be back in the mix again. The old saying, you don't know how much you miss something till its gone, always seems to hold true.

Its so funny, back in the early and mid 90's when I was heavily involved with Tae Kwon Do I used to believe, as I'm sure many do, that BJJ was a sport full of cocky, arrogant, disrespectful brutes who didn't deserve the title of martial artist. I know that this misperception is false at its core and is often perpetuated by those with a vested interest in the "traditional" martial arts.

Over my last year of training, I have come to find that the people I train with are by far the nicest, most humble, selfless and respectful folks I have ever dealt with in any sport. These people truly become a family. When I returned last night, there were so many warm welcomes and people asking "where you been?" after only a week or two; compare that to the times in TKD when I could miss months without anyone noticing, unless of course I missed a payment!

So, training started off as always, with one notable exception. Kazeka was leading class from the beginning. It has been a long while since I have had an entire class lead by him. Normally he'll have Fritz warm us up or take over some aspect of the class, but not this one.

Warm ups with Kazeka can either be extraordinarily brutal or feel almost easy. Last night was an almost easy feeling with some difficult movements added in. A lot of handstand walks and other balance oriented movements.

Drilling focused on defending chokes from the rear when your opponent has his hooks in. The first one dealt with taking advantage of that cardinal sin, when the opponent crosses his ankles. I have actually used this one before actually "learning" it. I didn't make my opponent tap, but it did allow me to reverse to his guard.

We then learned rolling your opponent onto their back, plant your head on the mat, work your shoulder into the choke to nullify it and defend their opportunity to take mount. I felt that once that shoulder was in between the choke, I had a wide open path to start an escape and was able to scramble to side control most of the time if not half guard.

Rolling was awesome. I went with the Doc first, we had a good back and forth, I got to his guard, he swept to mount, I swept to his guard, passed to half, in the scramble got his back, then he turned out, more scramble, he got my back, and stalemate till time was called.

Kazeka had me sit out the next round.

The last round I went against a brand new wrestler kid with three classes in. I went nice and easy, took him to his guard, passed to mount in seconds, let him upa me over to my guard (cause I wanted to work on my sweeps). I pulled off a pendulum first, got to mount, threatened the collar choke, let him escape again, next I did a scissor sweep, started working for an armbar, lost my own balance, in the scramble I just pulled guard, and actually pulled off a sit-up sweep. I’ve NEVER gotten that one before. I just never have the explosiveness or the timing. So big surprise.

Pretty good night. I’m a bit sore, needless to say, since I haven’t trained in weeks but it was good to be back on the mats with the mindset that I can do what I can do and I wont stress about how much or how little that might be this time of year.

Something New

2008-12-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

So this last week I tried something out of character for me. I took a week off of training. Now I know what your thinking...."Jay, you miss training all the time", I know, I know, but this time it was different. I chose to take a week off.

With the stressful year end schedule at work, combined with the normal abnormalities that this time of year brings, I figured that I deserved a little bit of slack. I knew going into this week that a normal rest/recovery schedule would not be possible and that if I threw training into the mix I might just end up on my butt by the end.

I resigned myself to the fact that at this time of year there are many times when total control is a luxury that I cannot afford. Isn't that something that BJJ teaches us anyway? To learn to pull when pushed; to roll with the flow until we find that optimal situation? So, this week I hung up my Kimono, put the focus on the other aspects of my life. My wife and I even went to a concert to see her favorite band. We didn't get home till about 1:30am on Tuesday night so just imagine how difficult that would have been to get virtually no sleep, work a full day and then go train. Rather than add to the mental stress, I allowed myself to take the time off.

And the result of this week away? Well, we'll see. I'll be back on the mats tonight. I'm sure that my cardio will suffer and that rolling will be much more difficult than when I was last on the mats but I can assure you that I will be excited to be back. I miss the gym when I'm away, but that's not to say that I don't enjoy myself outside of there either. Oh, that elusive balance.

The rest of this month I'm sure will prove just as problematic for me from a training perspective. I will probably be luck to squeeze in one or two sessions this week and next, and that's it, the year is virtually over. So when I hit the mats tonight and every time "this year" I will do so with the mindset that I am doing the best I can with the circumstances I am in, Sure I would like to roll more or make more gains before the new year but I will be content to remember that I am doing something love in spite of the impositions that life is making along the way.

Wish me luck tonight!

Stuffed with Turkey; Starving for Jits

2008-12-01T09:44:00.000-08:00

The Best Laid Plans of Men....and Turkeys

Last week was a challenging one to say the least. Between the news from my neurologist and the hectic pace at work we had to keep up in order to ensure a holiday could in fact take place, no training at all was able to commence. Anyone who knows me, knows that this is problematic as my general mood and my subsequent performance upon returning suffer.

Luckily, my co-worker and open mat partner Neil told me that he heard open mat would go on as scheduled in spite of the holidays. At least that's what the guys behind the desk had told him. But we'll get to that. So after copious amounts of Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatos and all the other good stuff that comes with good ol' American style Thanksgiving, it was good to have a light bit of rolling on Saturday to look forward to.

After texting back and forth Neil, Dr. Evil and I were all committed and eager to attend Open Mat. Side note: what's the deal with texting? I understand chicks do it, and I can only assume its because they really don't want to talk to each other. But when guys use it, even though I'm guilty at times, I just don't get it. At least there's no, LOL, TTFN and all that garbage. With my friends the only acronym we use is MPH, when we're bailing from training.

So I arrive at the gym about ten minutes early. I decided to sit in the truck, listen to the radio, finish my coffee and wait for Neil and the Doc to show up. As I sat there, I received a text from the doc which basically said "MPH" and he's not showing. That's cool, we've all been there, at least Neil's coming.

He showed up and we headed inside. The front of the gym was dark. Light and banging noise greeted us from deep in the back. We pensively walked in foot by foot, then Angel emerged no doubt surprised to see us. "Dudes, were closed today" he said. Neil, immediately said "But Tom said...."; and Tom overhearing this reacted with...."Yeah, I was misinformed" , which in Tom speak means "Sorry guys, my mistake, I hope I didn't inconvenience you too much".

So we left. Walking past the wide, open, mats; longing to be rolled upon. Outside we stood. Still suffering from tryptophan poisoning, yet feeling dejected. Sure, we could have left there and sought other ways to work out, but of course that didn't happen. There is always the next week to conquer!

***Side Note***
Went to see "Four Christmases" this weekend. Besides being rather unfunny, it calls MMA "Human Cockfighting" two or three times and the portrayal of the redneck fighter (the normally funny Jon Favreau) would have been better served by actually performing a Triangle rather than the absurd maneuver he applies in the film. Come on Hollywood, do better.

The Diagnosis

2008-11-26T06:28:00.000-08:00

Neurologist (11/24/08)

For those who don’t personally know me, which is pretty much everyone who reads this blog, there is another dimension to life that I have dealt with off the mats. I have suffered with migraine headaches for most of my life. They began to occur at about the age of thirteen and they continue today.

My condition is referred to as Migraine with aura, because immediately preceding the pain, I experience a disturbance in my field of vision that is still there even with my eyes closed. This aura is caused when a part of the brain shuts down because the neurotransmitter levels are so out of whack it just needs to reset. Over the course of thirty to forty-five minutes my vision returns to normal and the pain slowly fades in.

Luckily there are now medications that help to abort the migraine, provided I am able to take it immediately at the first sign of aura. When the medication works (about 80% of the time) by the time my vision clears, I am left with a really bad headache and not a full blown migraine. A vast improvement!

On September 21, 2006 however my condition took an interesting turn and my migraine presented in a wholly different way.

It was a Friday morning, I was getting ready to drive down to Anaheim for the graduation ceremony for my MBA. This was to be a great day. All my hard work was paying off. As I was getting ready, printing maps on the Internet, my wife asked me how I wanted my eggs cooked……I couldn’t answer her.

Something was terribly wrong, I could think of the words, but when I tried to speak it was gibberish. When I tried to write, it was a scribble. This was the day I was to receive my Masters Degree and I could not communicate. It was absolutely terrifying.

In short I experienced a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) in which blood is cut off from a section of the brain for a just a short amount of time. TIA is normally caused by a blood clot traveling thru the system and getting caught up briefly in one place where it blocks the flow momentarily. In my case, it was the spasms in the brain caused by my Migraine condition that actually pinched off the blood vessels.

Luckily, the effects of TIA are generally temporary. And in this case, I was just fine by the end of the weekend. I am now on medication to try to keep Migraine and TIA at bay but I have had a total of 5 TIA’s (none of the subsequent being as bad as the first) because the understanding behind the why and how of such neurological conditions remains largely a mystery.

When I saw my neurologist again for a follow-up on Monday afternoon, I received a piece of news from him that, while not surprising, still gave me a moment of pause. I had always had some quirky ticks. I spoke to the Doc about these things and he casually said, “Well, yeah…you have Tourette’s” like it was something that I should have already known as a fact. He explained how I have a very mild case and he also explained that there is a substantial link between Migraine and Tourette Syndrome.

As I said, I had always kind of suspected, but it still caught me off guard. When I asked him about my BJJ training specifically (something I had never done), his advice was to take things easily, not to allow myself to get overly exerted and to tap quickly on blood chokes.

BJJ Blog of the Year Contest

2008-11-24T11:58:00.000-08:00

It seems only fitting that it has finally come full circle. I began keeping this Blog because I heard Caleb from The Fightworks Podcast talking about the results of the Blog of the year contest last year.

Now it took some time for me to finally settle in and download his XML file of recommended Blogs but once I did, I was hooked. Every day when I open up Google Reader, I have access to a world of my peers; like minded individuals who share the same struggles as I across each corner of the globe.

It was inevitable that I would begin to submit my own words to this world, and to my pleasant surprise I found my humble little Blog being accepted into Caleb's XML along with all of the others I read and anticipate. We share our struggles, we share our strengths; your insights have helped me along my journey and I hope to do the same one day.

If anyone would like to nominate this small project of mine for "The Fightworks Podcast Blog of the Year" I have included the link below. This is a very new blog and I harbor no illusions of receiving a nomination and I know the league of competition that is out there; because I am a fan.

Here is the Link

BJJ Blog of the Year 2008 Contest

Back in the Pendulum Swing

2008-11-17T20:00:00.000-08:00

BJJ (11/18/08 6:00pm)

Its been a while since I've had a Monday night come and I've been able to get to class unabated. Finally, it happened. After the rather disappointing week I had just concluded, I really need to start this one off well. One thing that was helping to keep my spirits up was the fact that I was bringing in some new blood to the academy that night.

John, a guy from work, who had recently transferred in from Florida attended the 6:00 class tonight. He had about seven months experience at a Rickson affiliated school in Florida so he is not completely new to the sport. I'm happy to bring him and happy to have another office monkey with whom to talk about my other world.

Warm ups were the same as always. But this time I survived and felt no ill-effects. I don't know what happened to me on Thursday of last week but it seems to be out of my system now.

Technique focused on my old friend the pendulum sweep. I like this sweep because it has actually worked for me. I am not effective at sleeve control, so when I pull it off situationally I tend to control a cross lapel or an underhook, but isn't that the essence of BJJ, to adapt the techniques to suit your particular strengths?

We did guard pass / submit-sweep drills for our rolling portion. I passed the guard on my first attempt. Did very well actually. Then I decided to work on my spider guard with a considerably larger opponent. I did pretty well and kept a stalemate for a long time till he finally broke thru. After a few more rounds, and of course getting caught in a triangle, I passed again by stacking on a failed armbar attempt.

All in all great night. My co-worker was relegated to Upa's but had a great time. He told me that he needs a while to bring his conditioning back, and I know we can all relate to that!

Lost Week, Lost....

2008-11-13T22:00:00.000-08:00

BJJ (11/13/08 7:00pm)

This week seems to fit right into the theme of this Blog. My school has BJJ class at 6:00 - 7:00 on M,W,F and then at 7:00-8:00 on T, Th. Because I get up so early for work and don't get much sleep as it is, I like to do the 6:00 classes and get home. So most weeks, my plan is to attend the M,W,F classes and to augment my BJJ training on those days with one of the fitness kickboxing or wrestling classes at 6:00 on Tuesday or Thursday. At least that's the plan.

For the last couple of months, I have been involved in an after-hours training class at work that is supposed to take place on Tuesday afternoon from 4:00-6:00, thereby taking that day out of my rotation. That I can live with.

What is bothersome is the fact that, because there are only about 5 people in the class, and it is very informal there have been many occasions, including this week, wherein because of the instructor's scheduling conflicts the class has been moved to Mondays or Wednesdays. This week it was Wednesday.

Monday (11/10/2008) I had a meeting late in the afternoon that kept me in the office too late to make it to the gym. Tuesday, similar story. We are working through many issues that typically arise in the Aerospace industry at a typical year end plus numerous other special case scenarios that are guaranteed to make the next few weeks interesting. Wednesday we had our class that ran its full time all the way to 6:00, so three days down, and no training!!!

Thursday came about and I made the decision that even though I never attend the 7:00 class, it is better than the alternative of no training for the week! I packed my gi, and made sure that nothing would inhibit my getting to class.

Class started, there were only about 8 of us. We did a normal warm-up but I was feeling more drained than normal. Fritz (our Purple Belt) was teaching that night, I could tell he was tired. Right after warm ups, he just had us start rolling rather than drilling a technique.

My first roll was with Ruben, a very strong guy with good technique. I did relatively well with him, I was working on my guard preservation and recovery. I was able to work some of the proper half-guard positioning we had recently learned but Ruben proved very adept at countering and passing.

After my roll with Ruben, I was just about spent. I began rolling with a pretty new guy that I don't know yet. I had a pretty easy time with him and went light. Then I began to feel it. My stomach began to turn. I was not feeling well at all. I lost all my gas at once and felt my insides rising. It affected me to the point that this new kid nearly took my back and in the process got to mount. At that moment I knew the end was near. I laid on a basic Upa sweep, got into his guard. Told him "we are done", and ran off the mats toward the locker room.

It was not the first time I've lost it in training, but it was one of the more frustrating. Having been out of training all week and to have it end like that was just demoralizing. I'm taking Friday off, I'll do a strength and conditioning workout at home to recover.

Back to the mats on Monday!

Changing Weight Classes

2008-11-11T14:17:00.000-08:00

15 to Go
At the beginning of this year, I began a journey. As I describe below, I was losing a battle with my weight. Thanks to BJJ, I have turned the tide and no longer feel defined by my belly. The following post was originally submitted back in March 2008 on ProElite.com. I entered it in the Type in or TapouT writing contest for a chance to get published in TapouT magazine (hence the MMA emphasis). To my surprise, I placed third nationally losing out ultimately to someone who was able to interview a pro fighter.

I don’t want to fight Chuck Liddell or Tito Ortiz. Wanderlei and Shogun would kill me. What the hell am I doing? These were perhaps some of the most motivating thoughts I have ever had.
Now the reality is that I will never be in a position where facing off against the premier light heavyweights in the world is possible, but imagining that it could happen has helped me to reach some substantial personal goals, on my way to even more.

Near the end of 2007, I was sitting in my house one morning during the Christmas break. Like many Americans, I was on the couch shoveling copious amounts of fatty, calorie loaded foods down my gullet. In a moment of feeling particularly lethargic I decided to fish the scale out of my bathroom cabinet and see just where I stood.

To put things into perspective, I am thirty two years old and stand 5’7”. I used to compete in Tae Kwon Do tournaments and was generally in great shape. The last decade or so has seen me working in jobs that are less than physical. Years of working in a stressful industry, getting no exercise, and gorging myself on the worst possible foods had culminated in a belly could shade groundhogs and prevent
spring from coming in on time.

I plopped myself on the scale and beheld a number that at first made me think the scale was broken or out of calibration. It has been years since I was actively participating in Tae Kwon Do and walked around in the 150 range, but I can’t possibly be that much heavier, can I?

That dastardly digital display read 195. “I’m only 5’7” and I’m almost 200 pounds”. Shit. When did this happen? I used to be in shape, I used to be thin and healthy. When did I turn into this? Why didn’t I see what was happening and why didn’t I do anything to stop it?

Being a rabid MMA fan for years, I found myself immediately putting my girth in perspective. I thought about the fact that if I were to be dropped into the octagon right at that moment, I would have to face someone like Chuck Liddell or Tito Ortiz. I would weigh in at light heavyweight and be forced to go up against guys that are well over six feet tall and in incredible shape. Those guys exemplify what 200 pounds should look like, not me.

From that moment on I decided to make the commitment to get down to 150 pounds so I could face off against guys like KenFlo, BJ and Spencer Fisher without cutting weight and with notice, I could cut down to the realm of Uriah Faber. The ass whooping would be no less violent or humiliating but at least the guys would be
in relative proportion to me.

I had signed up as a member at the Gracie Barra school in my area two months earlier in October but had not gone in 2 months because I was out of shape and embarrassed at how hard it was for me to get through the warm-ups let alone the entire session. I knew that any plan to get back in shape would have to include things that I love, like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and MMA.

I sat myself down and made a plan. First I looked at my diet and cut out all of the crap. I dedicated myself to breaking my Dr. Pepper addiction and abandoning all the “foods” that had gotten me where I was. I began to focus on lean proteins and fresh fruits and veggies.

With my diet under control, I thought about how I could ensure that I was getting the exercise I needed. I formulated a plan to have my gi clean and ready to go daily so no matter how late I got off of work, I could still make it to the gym and get my butt kicked.

I purchased a new home gym system for strength training and to augment my Jiu-Jitsu and MMA workouts. In my weight room I put up photos of Chuck, Tito, Shogun and Wanderlei. Being able to see these guys as I worked out helped me to keep my goals visualized and to remind me that the faster I got myself out of their weight class, the better. The beginning of the year came quickly, and I felt that I was ready for the challenge.
Monday, January 7 2007 was my official starting day. A quick check on the scale in the morning confirmed that I was still a light heavyweight at 190 pounds. I began eating the way I had planned and got myself to the gym for my first Jiu-Jitsu session in more than two months. I was terrified.

Kazeka Muniz, my Gracie Barra head instructor is a phenomenal trainer who has recently worked with and cornered fighters like Michael Bisping. As it turned out Kazeka was away working with professional fighters, getting them ready for fights. But the school is world class and every instructor is amazing. That first night back was brutal and I thought I wouldn’t make it through a few times.

When it was over, I was so excited on the way home. I knew that I would hurt like hell the next day but that pain meant I was closer to my goal. Since that first night back, I have not missed more than two nights in a row and have received my first promotional stripe.

I started losing weight at a good pace. I weigh myself every Monday and by the 21st of January I had reached a milestone, 185. That day I changed the pictures on my wall. I was now a middleweight. I hung pictures of Rich Franklin, Dean Lister and Anderson Silva. And who wants to fight Anderson Silva when their out of shape? Great motivation.

I continued doing things they way I have been and on February 25th I reached Welterweight. Changing the wall yet again to reflect my new weight class, GSP, Matt Hughes and Matt Serra became my new training partners. With a new focus and a noticeably changing body, I pressed on.

It is now early March and I am down to 165. I am ten pounds away from light weight and 15 away from my goal. I have started searching for my last round of photos to help me reach my 150 pound goal. Knowing that I can achieve my goals when I set my mind to it, create a plan and persevere has done wonders for me. I have added another goal to the list. I want to begin competing in Jiu-Jitsu tournaments and I know now that I can do it. My overall health has improved, my cardio ability is off the charts compared to when I started and most importantly, I am having a great time.

I give all the thanks to my trainers and teammates at Gracie Barra and to the MMA fighters who have adorned my wall to keep my focused on what I was doing. My wife Sheri has also been an unbelievable source of inspiration and support, without her I probably would have slipped in my diet or skipped a class here and there. She keeps me honest and is helping to keep me healthy. I’ll report again when I hit 150.

Since I wrote this original post, I have maintained the weight loss. Which I am very pleased about. It has been 8 months and I am at about 163-165 depending on the day. I feel that I'm at a decent weight but I could still stand to shed that last little bit. That's why I decided to post this now. I'm setting a goal to see what I can do if I rededicate myself from here to year end. I have been in a maintenance mode, which has been very easy, so stepping it up to hit the goal should be attainable. Especially with a very public accountability system, like weekly updates here.
Wish me Luck!

*P.S. to avoid confusion KnuckleUp West Coast used to be Gracie Barra SoCal

Self Control

2008-11-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

Open Mat (11/8/08)

I've mentioned before about how rolling with Dr. Evil brings out the best in me for some reason. Well, I've noticed that this is a good thing and a bad thing.

During the open mat session I described below a similar phenomenon occurred that tends to arise when the Doc and I train together. Even when drilling a technique, if one of us is feeling too much space or an opportunity to escape, we'll take it. We both learn this way. The person executing the technique learns what they are doing wrong and where to tighten up and the escapee, learns how to keep their wits about them and look for opportunities.

Now on its face, this is just fine. But the Dr. and I don't stop there. We tend to let that escape move to a counter then another, then another and so on. Next thing you know its a full blown roll. All the while, this could be happening when neither of us are wearing mouthguards, because we are only drilling technique and not rolling.

The funny thing is, the Doc and I are probably two of the least aggressive guys in the gym. We don't go after each other with aggression, we both acknowledge that we bring out the best technique in each other. We just need to learn to control that excitement and keep it from growing to a crescendo like we do now. Its rare to find a really good training partner who is like minded, so self control is so much more important when you do.

We left that mat on Saturday, we were both bleeding from one or two places. I had a bruised cheekbone from an inadvertent punch in the face (he was reaching for the lapel and MMA instinct took over). Walking out of the gym we were both smiling saying "thanks so much for coming today, I wasn't going to come if you didn't". What other sport in the world can make you look forward to that?

My Own Little Class

2008-11-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

Open Mat (11/8/08 12:00pm)

As things would have it, this week I was also relegated to just training on Monday evening and on Saturday Open Mat. Needless to say this is not nearly enough! At the office I am in the middle of a mandatory, non-mandatory (if that makes any sense) after hours training course that takes place after hours. This class normally takes place on Tuesdays but as luck would have it, this week it was moved to Wednesday, one of my primary BJJ nights.

When I got to open Mat, the gym was empty. There was nobody there except for Playboy and Angel behind the desk. Thats it. I was fearful that the place was closed down for improvements or maybe the MMA cage had finally come in and was being installed. Nope, it was just a nice Saturday morning that must have kept everyone in their other lives. Before I had arrived, Dr. Evil had texted me to let me know that he was running late so I thought that I would have to wait for a while to work out.

Luckily, there was a brand new guy at the gym named Darren(sp?) he had shown up to watch the open mat session while I was warming up aimlessly, waiting for the Doc to arrive, I told Angel to find Darren a Kimono so I could show him some of the day 1 basics. I started with Upas, showing him that all familiar escape we all learn. We did a perpetual motion drill that had him escaping from my mount rolling into my guard where I would get to practice my scissor or pendulum sweep to get back to mount...and repeat.

When Dr. Evil arrived we worked with Darren on basic cross collar chokes and the Americana. The Doc also showed me a side control armbar and Kimura transition that is very similar to a knee on belly we learned a few weeks ago.

This was great. It really helped me to remember the basics and teaching them to someone is always the best way to learn. I told Darren to really resist the best he could when it was my turn to sweep. Even though he did not know "BJJ" he knows he doesn't want to be hurled over. I really learned a lot about my own technique and what works for me during this time.

We did some very light game oriented "rolling". I hesitate to call it rolling but for lack of a better word, that's what I'll go with. I started on my back with Darren in the mount his goal was to try to get the cross collar choke or Americana while my objective obviously was to escape & preferably submit.

Now Darren is a giant compared to me. He's probably at least 6' tall, extraordinarily strong with great big hands. I am not. The amazing thing about BJJ is how it neutralizes these differences when we hit the ground. While I am smaller and weaker, my little bit of technique led me to victory in every situation. I really needed this reinforcement that I have improved after some of the frustration I've had lately.

This was great session even though there were only three of us on the mats. I hope Darren keeps on coming.

Visualized Triangle Choke!

2008-11-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

BJJ (11/3/2008 6:00pm)

One of the major issues I have been working thru is my mat anxiety. I love to roll, I love learning things, even when I’m getting my butt kicked and I don’t do anything right. When I’m going I’m willing to keep going until I’ll puke. My problem is that I have such anxiety about rolling beforehand. I’ll get nervous all day worrying about it to the point that when it comes, I get stuck in my head and I know it limits my performance.

I have been using many tools common in sports psychology to help me to overcome this problem. Today, rather than fixate on the prospect of free rolling and the potential to get dominated I set my mind to focus on a specific goal and an overall strategy instead.

During last week's open mat session, I tried a triangle set-up that seemed to work pretty well for me. I decided that I would make it a goal to at least attempt this same triangle in a "live" situation. I also committed to focus on a strategy of working on my guard game, focusing on sharpening my sweeps, hip movement and opponent posture control. Every time my mind started to wander into that obsessive and nervous place I pulled it back and focused on my strategy and goal for the night instead.

Drills:

We drilled half guard sweeps and I can finally say that I am starting to become a bit more comfortable in half guard. I am able to really crunch into a tight ball so I find that I can be pretty elusive and hard to deal with in that position.

Rolling:

We did round robin Pass / Sweep or Submit drills. To my delight, Fritz called me to start on my back, which never happens. As luck would have it, Dr. Evil was my first opponent. Instead of being nervous like normal, I was focused on executing the strategy and obtaining the goal that I had set earlier in the day.

As soon as we started I executed my game plan and set-up the triangle as I had seen in my head. Before I knew it I had it locked in and was using my left hand to break the Doc's base. During the scramble, I was able to use the triangle as a sweep and finish from the mount. This was not just a victory on the mat but a victory in my own mind.

Don't worry about the Dr., he got his revenge a couple of rounds later by sweeping me like I was a bag of feathers making me look like I had no guard passing skills whatsoever!

Open Mat, Open Mind

2008-10-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

Open Mat (10/25/08 12:00pm)

After a full week of e-mailing back and forth Neil, Dr. Evil, and I met up at the open mat session on Saturday. We all had things we wanted to work on and it is just nice t0 be able to train with guys that you know you like and who are willing to help you learn.

I always enjoy training with Dr. Evil, for some reason he and I always seem pretty well matched, even though he ends up winning. Since Neil attends the 6:00am class I never have gotten to attend a class with him so it was great to be able to train with him too.

We had a good session. I was able to show Neil some sweeps I know and that helped me to understand them better myself. We worked a little from every position and just sharpened skills in general. The Dr. showed us an armbar transition for when the scissor sweep fails that was pretty nifty.

Saturdays just feel very different than normal days. Much more relaxed. I feel like I learn more in a setting like that than I do in a normal class in some ways.

This Saturday the guys from Unbreakable Mouthpieces were at the gym taking dental impressions for their professional mouthguards. They were offering a discount for all of the students at KnuckleUp. Since I've already had a minor tooth chip and gone through the hassle of getting it fixed I figured that it might be a good idea. The only downside was that it took away from some of my open mat time.

On the extremely cool side, these are custom, pro-grade mouthguards which means they can put any kind of design on them. Of course I chose the Fleur-de-lis and my last name to celebrate my heritage! When I was trying to tell the guys what I wanted, they were confused and one of them finally said "oh...the St. Pierre symbol".....um yeah, that's it.

Here's their website:

http://unbreakablemouthpieces.com/

Here is my draft design:

My Post on the Fightworks Podcast

2008-10-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

Part of my weekly BJJ regimen is listening to the Fightworks Podcast. Its an Internet radio show that is all about BJJ and related issues.

Recently the host, Caleb, put out a call to listeners for stories about how Jiu Jitsu helps us while away from the mats. He wanted people to call in and leave a message, but anyone who knows me knows that making phone calls during the day is nearly impossible for me so I sent him an e-mail instead. To my delight Caleb posted my e-mail to his website as an example of what he was looking for from listeners. Here is the link:

http://thefightworkspodcast.com/2008/10/24/jiu-jitsu-and-business/

Here is the full text of the post:

I understand that if one thinks long and hard enough they can weave a metaphor relating anything to anything, but I believe the following is true from what I have observed. It may be cliché but that is only because it is true.

I work in the aerospace industry here in Southern California. The industry as a whole can be a very competitive and at times cutthroat environment.
BJJ has taught me to seek and secure position first. In business I see. all too often, colleagues make moves prematurely when they were not in the proper position to do so. I’m not speaking necessarily of position in the sense of job title or rank but more in a state of overall preparedness or mindset.

I’ve seen very competent people throughout the industry self destruct at key moments because they were not in the proper position. They might have been in the right place; they had passed to side control for instance, but they were sloppy and consequentially, they were the one to get swept or submitted.

I have learned this lesson all too well, on and off the mats. Seek and establish position first. In business, be prepared to take advantage of the opportunities when they present themselves or for when you can make them happen. It may take years of attempts to pass the proverbial guard in a situation at the office but when it happens, you had better be prepared to get and secure the position.

Of course the next lesson is to seek the submission. I don’t mean this in the 1987 “Wall Street” corporate raider sense. But in business, just like on the mats, there must be an objective to what one is doing or what is the point? If a business functions as a lazy grappler and only plays defense, sure it may avoid chokes or submissions but it will certainly lose in the end.
Once position is gained, that is the time to use all of that preparation to attain the desired end. On the mats it’s a choke or a joint lock, while in business its fighting for a new contract or a promotion or insert desired outcome here.

But I think overwhelmingly the most valuable lesson I’ve learned from BJJ that has proven to be the most practical in my career is knowing when to let a move go. As grapplers we are all guilty of pride and at times we have all held on to a submission attempt that we didn’t quite have for too long. While a small percentage of the time, against inexperienced opponents, we succeed; most of the time doing so is to our detriment. Again, I have been guilty in my own career of clinging to pet projects that were destined to be failures for far too long. BJJ has taught me to know when an attempt is not working and when it is time to switch to another attack.

BJJ has done so much for me in so many other ways but without writing an entire book, it would be impossible to expound on all of them. BJJ has made me lose weight, gain focus and find myself; all while in the company of great people, what more could one ask for?

Thanks for the exposure Caleb!

Back to Earth

2008-10-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

BJJ (10/22/08 6:00pm)

Did anyone feel a sudden decrease in air pressure last night? In the gym, windows were cracking, ears were popping, people were passing out from asphyxia, even light started to disappear never to be seen again. Why? Because I was sucking. Bad. What a horrible night. My new BJJ nickname should be black hole. Even I couldn't escape my own suck. I was so bad I made week-old sushi look good.

My first roll was with a guy who is bigger and much stronger. Gorilla strong. I was on defense from the start. I managed to get to half guard from his mount and at one point coach was yelling at me pretty intensely. He kept pointing out how I was doing everything wrong, and by his voice and the words he chose I could tell he was pretty frustrated. But I think the most embarrassing thing was the fact that he was calling me by the wrong name. Since my head was buried, he thought I was someone else.

Second roll was with a guy who I always do well with. Decent roll, no real complaint.

Third. I finally got a taste of Coach's wrath. From across the room, he grabs this new guy, with a Mohawk, a gi top, and gym shorts; points at me and says you will go with that guy now. I figure, great he sees that I’m sucking and he knows I cant hang so he’s sending me a newb because I’m tired and having a bad night. Awesome. Way to go Jay.

Then the roll began.

And it became apparent that Coach was not being kind to me. This guy was an animal. Freakin wrestler. And a good one. He had my back in seconds. I was defending a rear naked for minutes. Thankfully he had no technical skill and I managed to get back to his guard. The only satisfaction I had was when I managed to stack pass him, unintentionally hurting him in the process (he's not too limber yet).

All in all, pretty frustrating night.

Not So Epic

2008-10-23T03:00:00.000-07:00

BJJ (Monday 10/20/08 6:00pm)

It has been too long since I've been able to train with any consistancy. It felt good to get back on the mats tonight. I have to admit, all day long I was nerveous about getting back to class and how I would fare.

Coach was back from Europe and was in rare form. He is always intense but tonight he seemed extra agitated. Either way, it was good to have him back in the gym. Training focused on shifting from full guard to a version of butterfly and a sweep from there. It was the first time I've seen butterfly taught in the gym so I was excited to be learning it.

When it came time to roll, I went with Ruben first. He certianly hasnt lost any strength since I've been off the mats. He is always so powerful. He tapped me with a ezekel choke a couple of minutes in but that was it. The rest of the time, I was scrambling and playing defense, but against Ruben, I consider that a win.

The next roll was with a guy whose name I can't remember. He is a very good wrestler. Man, mat rust is horrible. Cardio is ok but I feel like I have no strength, or speed, or technique. Epic night this was not.

Hopefully, things are returning to normal. I plan to be back on the mat this Wednesday. We'll see; the best laid plans and all.

My Epic Night

2008-10-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

BJJ (10/13/08 6:00pm)

It was like a lightning strike, or perhaps something more special. A singular shining moment in which the grappler I know I can be finally started to peek out through the one that I am. This was a night that made me almost want to hang up my belt, though it is white with only one stripe, because I felt like it will probably be a very long time, if ever, till I have another like it.

It was October 13 2008. I had not been able to train as much as I would like to because of work (hence the new blog) and because on September 19, my Father-in-Law passed away. My wife had served for the past couple of years as his primary care giver, and they had grown closer than ever in that time. I like to think that my success in training this night was due to my dedicating it to him. Before I took the mat that night I was thinking of him because this was my first time back since his passing. So silently I said “This one’s for you Al”

That night, I had the best night of my BJJ career to date. Below is the list of everything I pulled off:

Sweeps:

Scissor sweep
Pendulum sweep
Double ankle grab sweep
Oma plata sweep
Arm bar to sweep

And now for the submissions:

Armbar
Arm triangle
Triangle Choke!
Kimoura
Americana
Gi Choke from Mount
Rear Naked Choke!

It was awesome. All that and I didn't even feel that good. Being in my 30’s and a pencil pusher who doesn’t get to train nearly enough, any time away from the gym takes its toll when I get back on the mats. I hardly ever pull of a submission and these were not against chumps, these were against good guys that I train with all the time. And as far as sweeps go forget it; I never even go for sweeps. I actually played offense and had a good ol' time. I like to think that my epic night was my father-in-law’s way of thanking me and saying goodbye. Thanks Al, I miss you.

Number One

2008-10-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

One of the most frustrating things about training BJJ for me is the fact that I love it. I sense the irony detectors going off, and for good reason. I’m not trying to be overly clever but here is the conundrum.

BJJ is a difficult, demanding sport. In order to make any significant progress, one must spend time on the mats. Ironic point number one, many good schools are expensive thus requiring their adult, paying, members to dedicate themselves equally to their chosen professions.

I have reached a point in my career wherein I am often at the office much longer than the requisite number of hours daily; sometimes at the end of those days the computer comes home with me to continue working. This is just the nature of my industry. I have made a good living for my wife and I even if it means we only see one another for a couple of hours a day during the week. Which, needless to say, is not nearly enough time!

Throw my BJJ addiction into this mix and you can begin to understand my frustration. Hence, Grappling with Life. I plan to use this space to record insights that I gain from my training, to vent on occasion when life gets in the way and to hopefully keep myself centered.