On Tuesday, 17 March I went to UCLA to talk to their specialist about closing my PFO. At least, that is what I thought was happening.
I was extraordinarily excited to see this doctor at UCLA. Of course, UCLA has a great reputation. They are a teaching hospital, they attract some of the best and brightest doctors in the world to their programs. All of the research I had done on PFO closure had been published by Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, a premier cardiac hospital in this country, but if anyone on the west coast and certainly in the Los Angeles area (where I live) is capable of performing the same procedures it has to be UCLA right?.....Right?
When I was ushered into the room there were two Doctors sitting in the room eager to meet me. That alone was a bit of a red flag. I was there to meet Dr. Jonathan Tobis who has a rather impressive resume and is the only doctor at UCLA dealing with PFO closure. Dr. Tobis was one of the two in the room along with a resident who was assisting him. The review of my condition, watching of my TEE film and discussion of options quickly blended into what felt like a sales pitch for the Clinical Trial or "Study" that it turns out I am a perfect candidate for.
UCLA is performing a study to help qualify a new device that "could potentially" be used for PFO closure if it is ever given FDA approval. The Doctor Went on to tell me that the FDA has not approved ANY devices for the closure of a PFO in this country. He told me that if I join the study I would get a 50/50 chance. Half the study participants would get drug treatment and half would get surgery using a "new" device unlike the one that Cleveland Clinic uses and has had great success with already. 50/50 odds when I already know I need to have my condition fixed and I do not want to be on drugs for the long term are just not acceptable.
So I left UCLA that day a bit disheartened, pardon the pun. The next morning I called a phone number that was on one of the pages I printed out from Cleveland Clinic. I just randomly cold called hoping to get some answers. To my surprise, I did. A very helpful guy told me everything I could have ever wanted to know over the phone. He told me that it is true that the FDA does not want to approve a device for PFO closure because it is a "common" defect and only a small percentage of those with the problem suffer ill-effects. But the fix can be done using devices that are perfectly safe and approved for use in the heart for the repair of an Atrial Septal Defect (ASD). They use these devices "off-label" to seal a PFO rather than the ASD.
The guy from Cleveland told me that they are also involved in studies to get devices approved for sealing PFO, but given my condition they would not hesitate to offer me the choice to join the studies or to just GET IT FIXED using the tried and true methods. He also told me that UCLA should have offered me a similar option rather than only offering me the study. In my mind, that confirmed my bad feelings about that experience.
So I went back to doing some research and found an article from a few years ago wherein a doctor at Cedars Siani performed a PFO closure using the same techniques, using the same device that Cleveland Clinic uses to treat someone within my same age range. Not a study, not some trial to get something approved, not horrible drugs but a fix and the guy is doing great now. Immediately I contacted Cedar's and began asking them questions. They told me that the doctor in the story is indeed THE ONLY doctor who has done PFO closure for them. The only problem is that he is out of the country and does not come back till 15 April. So I will see him on......guess when......15 April. I am being cautiously optimistic, because I know how my optimism turned out with UCLA. Till then, I will continue with the horrible drugs and keep moving forward.
If Cedars does not work out, next stop......Cleveland.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Hole in my Heart.....Literally
It's been a long time since my last post: Hopefully this explains why successfully and with any luck there wont be such a gap again.
Irony is a bitch:
Just a few hours after that last post, I had another TIA. Only much worse. Just after midnight Monday night / Tuesday morning (however you want to quantify it) I woke up feeling that oh so familiar "something is very wrong" sensation. The entire right side of my body was completely numb. From my face all the way down to my foot, everything was numb. I knew immediately what was happening. Of course knowledge turned to fear as I had just experienced a TIA within the last 24 hours, could this be a massive stroke coming to do me in at last?
I woke my wife up, rather ungracefully, and called my neurologist right away. He told me to head to the emergency room and that he would call ahead, get me thru the wait and get me admitted. When we arrived, we made our way thru the metal detector and the human wasteland that is the Antelope Valley Hospital emergency room and got to the check in window. I announced that my doctor should have called ahead for me.
The woman at the desk asked me what I was there for and I told her I was suffering either a stroke or a TIA. She said "Well its not a stroke, if it were you would not be able to talk". I then said "really? I've had 5 of them, how many have you had?" and that seemed to get things moving. True to my neurologist's word, we were ushered right thru and did not wait in the ER waiting room at all. We were taken back to an ER bed immediately and I was given the requisite blood thinners and bevy of tests.
A few hours later I was taken upstairs to the room they had waiting for me and was told that an MRI was scheduled for the morning. The night RN urged me to try to get some rest, which is of course impossible. A hospital is no place to rest and get well.
The next morning I was taken for an MRI and an MRA which I had never had. The MRA basically looks at all the blood vessels in the brain using the MRI machine. Luckily the results of both were negative. Meaning there was no new damage. The numbness had already begun to fade and was now just in my right cheek, hand and foot. Classic TIA. What a relief.
Later that morning, my cardiologist stopped by to see me. He said that since I am already in the hospital, he wanted to go ahead and perform the TEE test that we had scheduled for Friday but to move it to the next morning. Since I already have a room, and some comfy clothes on, we might as well take advantage.
TEE:
So the procedure went smoothly, there were no complications or mishaps. Afterword in recovery, the tech asked me if the Dr. had come by to see me to discuss what they had found...nope. That sounded ominous. Then the nurse did the same thing. Now curiosity is setting in as anaesthesia is wearing off.
Later on, back in the room, a hematologist came by to see me. He told me that the cardiologist had found a PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale). A PFO is a small hole between the two atriums of the heart. Everyone has it in the womb, its necessary before birth but after birth it is supposed to seal shut and in most people it does. It is estimated that anywhere from 12-15% of the population at large walks around with a PFO, but very few of those people every suffer any ill-effects from it.
In my case, this hole between the atriums allows bad blood and small clots from one side of my heart to escape to the other side. This bad blood and these small clots then travel to the good side and then straight to the brain. Small clots going thru the brain equal TIA or Strokes. PFO is also related to migraine. In many studies the relationship is huge.
What Now?
Wow. A reason. It was a shock to hear that I had a hole in my heart but at the same time it was almost a relief. Now there is something tangible something that we can see. Something we can fix? As soon as I heard the words, I called my wife, I called Friends at work and got everyone researching. Looking for everything to do with PFO.
We found all kinds of literature from the Cleveland Clinic about PFO and what they are doing to close them now. There is some encouraging information and recovery time is minimal because they can do it thru a cath now. The Doctors set me up to see a specialist at UCLA just as soon as I got out of the hospital (More on that in the next post).
Knowing my condition, the doctors put me on Coumadin (a gnarly anti-coagulant) which makes you live like your in bubble wrap. I cant do anything I like to do. Nothing very active that can cause bruising or god forbid, bleeding. Mountain biking is out, Kickboxing is out, BJJ is out. I cant do anything that involves risking bruising or bleeding. Its like being in prison. The sooner I can get this stuff fixed and get off the drugs, the better.
So late Friday night(March 13) , around midnight I escaped. I was finally released from the hospital. I was given my orders to see UCLA the following week about patching the hole in my heart, I was given my prescription for Coumadin and I was told to come to the lab every day so they can draw blood to check its level in my system. It was quite an ordeal but at least I have some answers. After three years of strokes for no good reason, I finally have something to actively pursue.
In my next post I will talk about what happened at UCLA and just how much of a pain it is to try to find a good place to get a PFO closed. Lesson learned....don't mess with Irony, it will get you back.
Irony is a bitch:
Just a few hours after that last post, I had another TIA. Only much worse. Just after midnight Monday night / Tuesday morning (however you want to quantify it) I woke up feeling that oh so familiar "something is very wrong" sensation. The entire right side of my body was completely numb. From my face all the way down to my foot, everything was numb. I knew immediately what was happening. Of course knowledge turned to fear as I had just experienced a TIA within the last 24 hours, could this be a massive stroke coming to do me in at last?
I woke my wife up, rather ungracefully, and called my neurologist right away. He told me to head to the emergency room and that he would call ahead, get me thru the wait and get me admitted. When we arrived, we made our way thru the metal detector and the human wasteland that is the Antelope Valley Hospital emergency room and got to the check in window. I announced that my doctor should have called ahead for me.
The woman at the desk asked me what I was there for and I told her I was suffering either a stroke or a TIA. She said "Well its not a stroke, if it were you would not be able to talk". I then said "really? I've had 5 of them, how many have you had?" and that seemed to get things moving. True to my neurologist's word, we were ushered right thru and did not wait in the ER waiting room at all. We were taken back to an ER bed immediately and I was given the requisite blood thinners and bevy of tests.
A few hours later I was taken upstairs to the room they had waiting for me and was told that an MRI was scheduled for the morning. The night RN urged me to try to get some rest, which is of course impossible. A hospital is no place to rest and get well.
The next morning I was taken for an MRI and an MRA which I had never had. The MRA basically looks at all the blood vessels in the brain using the MRI machine. Luckily the results of both were negative. Meaning there was no new damage. The numbness had already begun to fade and was now just in my right cheek, hand and foot. Classic TIA. What a relief.
Later that morning, my cardiologist stopped by to see me. He said that since I am already in the hospital, he wanted to go ahead and perform the TEE test that we had scheduled for Friday but to move it to the next morning. Since I already have a room, and some comfy clothes on, we might as well take advantage.
TEE:
So the procedure went smoothly, there were no complications or mishaps. Afterword in recovery, the tech asked me if the Dr. had come by to see me to discuss what they had found...nope. That sounded ominous. Then the nurse did the same thing. Now curiosity is setting in as anaesthesia is wearing off.
Later on, back in the room, a hematologist came by to see me. He told me that the cardiologist had found a PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale). A PFO is a small hole between the two atriums of the heart. Everyone has it in the womb, its necessary before birth but after birth it is supposed to seal shut and in most people it does. It is estimated that anywhere from 12-15% of the population at large walks around with a PFO, but very few of those people every suffer any ill-effects from it.
In my case, this hole between the atriums allows bad blood and small clots from one side of my heart to escape to the other side. This bad blood and these small clots then travel to the good side and then straight to the brain. Small clots going thru the brain equal TIA or Strokes. PFO is also related to migraine. In many studies the relationship is huge.
What Now?
Wow. A reason. It was a shock to hear that I had a hole in my heart but at the same time it was almost a relief. Now there is something tangible something that we can see. Something we can fix? As soon as I heard the words, I called my wife, I called Friends at work and got everyone researching. Looking for everything to do with PFO.
We found all kinds of literature from the Cleveland Clinic about PFO and what they are doing to close them now. There is some encouraging information and recovery time is minimal because they can do it thru a cath now. The Doctors set me up to see a specialist at UCLA just as soon as I got out of the hospital (More on that in the next post).
Knowing my condition, the doctors put me on Coumadin (a gnarly anti-coagulant) which makes you live like your in bubble wrap. I cant do anything I like to do. Nothing very active that can cause bruising or god forbid, bleeding. Mountain biking is out, Kickboxing is out, BJJ is out. I cant do anything that involves risking bruising or bleeding. Its like being in prison. The sooner I can get this stuff fixed and get off the drugs, the better.
So late Friday night(March 13) , around midnight I escaped. I was finally released from the hospital. I was given my orders to see UCLA the following week about patching the hole in my heart, I was given my prescription for Coumadin and I was told to come to the lab every day so they can draw blood to check its level in my system. It was quite an ordeal but at least I have some answers. After three years of strokes for no good reason, I finally have something to actively pursue.
In my next post I will talk about what happened at UCLA and just how much of a pain it is to try to find a good place to get a PFO closed. Lesson learned....don't mess with Irony, it will get you back.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Postponed TEE and More De-De-De
March 9, 2009
Today was supposed to be the day of my TEE (Transesophogeal Echocardiogram) test. That got put on hold because last night I had yet another TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) or mini-stroke. This one was not as severe as the others I have had in the past but it was pretty darn alarming.
It started off with my wife noticing me rocking side to side for quite a long time before the actual attack happened. I though I was sitting perfectly still but her cell phone video tells a different story. When the attack struck, I basically felt like I was drunk but without the benefit of getting drunk the fun way. Dizzy and a bit disoriented. This morning before I went to the Doctor's I actually stumbled over myself a bit.
So rather than having the TEE test today, it was back into an urgent care, another CAT scan, another visit to the Neurologist and on and on. So the Neurologist said that this one was definitely just a Migraine induced TIA and the CAT scan showed nothing. So, there is no need to get all worked up over it, you know except for the fact that it was a mini-stroke!!!
So the TEE will now be on Friday morning. We'll see how that goes. The Neurologist repeated again today that he does not want me doing BJJ at all. He asked if "there was some other sport" I could get involved in. It seems easy for someone who doesn't know to say something like that doesn't it?
Not giving up. Keeping my goals in mind. I will be back on the mats. I will beat this.
Today was supposed to be the day of my TEE (Transesophogeal Echocardiogram) test. That got put on hold because last night I had yet another TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) or mini-stroke. This one was not as severe as the others I have had in the past but it was pretty darn alarming.
It started off with my wife noticing me rocking side to side for quite a long time before the actual attack happened. I though I was sitting perfectly still but her cell phone video tells a different story. When the attack struck, I basically felt like I was drunk but without the benefit of getting drunk the fun way. Dizzy and a bit disoriented. This morning before I went to the Doctor's I actually stumbled over myself a bit.
So rather than having the TEE test today, it was back into an urgent care, another CAT scan, another visit to the Neurologist and on and on. So the Neurologist said that this one was definitely just a Migraine induced TIA and the CAT scan showed nothing. So, there is no need to get all worked up over it, you know except for the fact that it was a mini-stroke!!!
So the TEE will now be on Friday morning. We'll see how that goes. The Neurologist repeated again today that he does not want me doing BJJ at all. He asked if "there was some other sport" I could get involved in. It seems easy for someone who doesn't know to say something like that doesn't it?
Not giving up. Keeping my goals in mind. I will be back on the mats. I will beat this.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Some Answers...More Questions
Cardiologist (3/5/09)
Got some test results today. Saw the cardiologist and found out I have a "leaky valve". While this is not the cause of my strokes it is a reason for my getting gassed way easier than most guys do even though I do a bunch more cardio type activity (all the cycling). While this is interesting and something to look at in the future, its not a big concern at the moment. For now, we need to find the root cause of my strokes.
The Echo cardiogram of my heart did not show a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) outright. It did show enough areas of concern, like the leaky valve, for the doctor to decide to proceed with the Trans esophageal Echo cardiogram (TEE) test. This should be a fun one. Basically, I go into the hospital, get knocked out and they shove an ultrasound device down my throat. They will be able to look at my heart from inside my digestive tract. It is basically an echo cardiogram from the inside. Freaky.
The good news is that if I do indeed have a VSD they will see it and we will be able to do something about it. Who knows what they will find. Perhaps nothing. If so, we are back to square one with the neurologist and the assumption that it is all in my head....in a manner of speaking.
Oh, and my blood work was just dandy. They took gallons and tested for everything under the sun, at least I know that I don't have anything odd at all. Dr.House would be so disappointed to have me as a patient as I don't think that even he could think of any other blood tests to run.
I have this surgical TEE test on Monday morning and a follow-up with the cardio doc on Wednesday afternoon. An appointment with the neurologist follows in the week shortly thereafter. With any luck answers are near, and a permanent regime of preventive measures as well.
Wish me Luck. And a big thank you to everyone for your support. It really means a lot to me. It can be a drag to keep plugging thru this muck but your well wishes have made it a bit easier. Thanks again.
Got some test results today. Saw the cardiologist and found out I have a "leaky valve". While this is not the cause of my strokes it is a reason for my getting gassed way easier than most guys do even though I do a bunch more cardio type activity (all the cycling). While this is interesting and something to look at in the future, its not a big concern at the moment. For now, we need to find the root cause of my strokes.
The Echo cardiogram of my heart did not show a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) outright. It did show enough areas of concern, like the leaky valve, for the doctor to decide to proceed with the Trans esophageal Echo cardiogram (TEE) test. This should be a fun one. Basically, I go into the hospital, get knocked out and they shove an ultrasound device down my throat. They will be able to look at my heart from inside my digestive tract. It is basically an echo cardiogram from the inside. Freaky.
The good news is that if I do indeed have a VSD they will see it and we will be able to do something about it. Who knows what they will find. Perhaps nothing. If so, we are back to square one with the neurologist and the assumption that it is all in my head....in a manner of speaking.
Oh, and my blood work was just dandy. They took gallons and tested for everything under the sun, at least I know that I don't have anything odd at all. Dr.House would be so disappointed to have me as a patient as I don't think that even he could think of any other blood tests to run.
I have this surgical TEE test on Monday morning and a follow-up with the cardio doc on Wednesday afternoon. An appointment with the neurologist follows in the week shortly thereafter. With any luck answers are near, and a permanent regime of preventive measures as well.
Wish me Luck. And a big thank you to everyone for your support. It really means a lot to me. It can be a drag to keep plugging thru this muck but your well wishes have made it a bit easier. Thanks again.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
All Tested for Now
Getting Testy:
The MRI is done, and it shows what we had feared. Damage. Permanent damage. Enough for the Neurologist to definitely classify at least one of the attacks I've had as a stroke rather than a simpler TIA. The Cat Scan I had pretty much said the same thing but the MRI shows the newly empty sections in glorious, cavernous detail. The good news is that the scan showed no signs of a clot, tumor or other unwanted bit of nastiness. In fact, my "right cerebellum is unremarkable", so there's that.
So, what this means. My neurologist is obviously concerned that I am not just suffering from Migraine Induced TIA as has been the assumption we have been running under since September 2006. His reasons for doubting that diagnosis now is because with Migraine TIA's, it happens predominantly in Women and there is no damage. Well, I am not a woman, and there is definitely some damage.
That is why he is having me see a Cardiologist. It will be up to the Cardio Doc, to rule out any circulatory issues (clots and such) as well as to look at the possibility of a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). A VSD is basically a problem with the tissue that divides the ventricles of the heart and because of the complications, can cause stroke.
The Cardio Doc, took about another gallon of blood to test for another billion conditions that can cause stroke. Then he performed an Echocardiogram and some ultrasounds of my Carotids and various other spots. Hopefully they find nothing, but at the same time I kind of hope someone finds something. I desperately want some answers.
I will see the Cardiologist again in about a week for all of his results and then the Neurologist again the following week. So, until then I'm supposed to be the patient patient, plod along and wait. One bit of good news I received from my neurologist the last time I saw him was regarding my arm. I asked him what the prognosis of getting normal function back and he said "your young enough, it should come back eventually". No time frame, no promise. But some hope.
I'll give them another couple of weeks before I hound them again with questions of beginning BJJ again. But I will not wait to begin trying to rebuild function in my arm. I saw my 8 year old niece last night and I had not realized how much strength I had lost until she asked me to pick her up when we were playing. It was terrible feeling like I was limited. I have to believe that working on this arm will help rebuild those damaged pathways.
UFC Fight Night:
So Dr. Evil and his son came over to watch the fights last night. It was good to see him. We have not spoken much since I've been out of the gym. We watched the fights, traded stories about the gym and even had a spontaneous light roll on the living room floor afterword. I suspect its always kind of like that isn't it. You get BJJ guys together and inevitably, somehow, a roll will begin for no good reason.
It was funny. And again, painfully obvious that my arm is junk in its current state. A big thanks to Dr. Evil (enough Doctors already) for giving me a couple minutes of BJJ during this ordeal. Thanks to everyone for their support.
The MRI is done, and it shows what we had feared. Damage. Permanent damage. Enough for the Neurologist to definitely classify at least one of the attacks I've had as a stroke rather than a simpler TIA. The Cat Scan I had pretty much said the same thing but the MRI shows the newly empty sections in glorious, cavernous detail. The good news is that the scan showed no signs of a clot, tumor or other unwanted bit of nastiness. In fact, my "right cerebellum is unremarkable", so there's that.
So, what this means. My neurologist is obviously concerned that I am not just suffering from Migraine Induced TIA as has been the assumption we have been running under since September 2006. His reasons for doubting that diagnosis now is because with Migraine TIA's, it happens predominantly in Women and there is no damage. Well, I am not a woman, and there is definitely some damage.
That is why he is having me see a Cardiologist. It will be up to the Cardio Doc, to rule out any circulatory issues (clots and such) as well as to look at the possibility of a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). A VSD is basically a problem with the tissue that divides the ventricles of the heart and because of the complications, can cause stroke.
The Cardio Doc, took about another gallon of blood to test for another billion conditions that can cause stroke. Then he performed an Echocardiogram and some ultrasounds of my Carotids and various other spots. Hopefully they find nothing, but at the same time I kind of hope someone finds something. I desperately want some answers.
I will see the Cardiologist again in about a week for all of his results and then the Neurologist again the following week. So, until then I'm supposed to be the patient patient, plod along and wait. One bit of good news I received from my neurologist the last time I saw him was regarding my arm. I asked him what the prognosis of getting normal function back and he said "your young enough, it should come back eventually". No time frame, no promise. But some hope.
I'll give them another couple of weeks before I hound them again with questions of beginning BJJ again. But I will not wait to begin trying to rebuild function in my arm. I saw my 8 year old niece last night and I had not realized how much strength I had lost until she asked me to pick her up when we were playing. It was terrible feeling like I was limited. I have to believe that working on this arm will help rebuild those damaged pathways.
UFC Fight Night:
So Dr. Evil and his son came over to watch the fights last night. It was good to see him. We have not spoken much since I've been out of the gym. We watched the fights, traded stories about the gym and even had a spontaneous light roll on the living room floor afterword. I suspect its always kind of like that isn't it. You get BJJ guys together and inevitably, somehow, a roll will begin for no good reason.
It was funny. And again, painfully obvious that my arm is junk in its current state. A big thanks to Dr. Evil (enough Doctors already) for giving me a couple minutes of BJJ during this ordeal. Thanks to everyone for their support.
Monday, February 16, 2009
MRI Day
I am back from my miniature vacation. I took my wife to San Francisco this weekend. I surprised her with the flight out, hotel and good tickets to see Wicked (the musical) up there. We had a fantastic time, and despite being delayed at LAX by a broken plane by almost two hours, everything went pretty smoothly.
We were able to hang out around Fisherman's Wharf, have lunch at one of her favorite places and just relax a bit. The show was great (just like the many times we saw it in LA) but the SF fans were pathetic. They didn't know to applaud when one of the principal characters entered for the first time, many of the great jokes fell flat, and the ovation at the end was kinda painful to get out of them. I must say, I was a bit disappointed in the SF fans.
I think my wife had a good birthday. I hope she was really surprised and enjoyed it.
Now we are back:
So, the saga continues. I had my MRI this morning and tomorrow afternoon I will once again meet with my neurologist to review the results. We will also be looking at the results of the tests he ran on the few gallons of blood he had taken out of me last week.
Wednesday, I go to see the cardiologist. According to my neurologist, I have a handful of fun sounding tests to undergo with the cardio doc, including a camera being shoved into my heart. We'll see. I'm sure I'll learn more Wednesday and go from there. All I can do is roll with it and trust that these guys know what they're doing and will find the answers we need to help me get back on the mats.I need to get some activity going. It has been difficult lately with the Dr.'s appointments, work, and the trip I just took my wife on for her birthday. Hopefully some of this rain will pass soon so I can get some cycling in. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Pressing on....In Suspense
So on Monday I did one of the hardest things that any Jiu Jitsu players can do. I suspended my account at the gym. I didn't cancel it, I suspended it. While I am in limbo about my medical status and the permanence of my arm's wonkyness, I thought it best to not tempt fate and allow myself the chance to find a way to defeat this problem once and for all. I want to get better, hopefully regain some of the lost sensation / strength in my arm and make a triumphant return to the mats! I had to leave the gym just as the guys started warming up because it was just too much.
Tuesday I had an appointment with my normal neurologist. He is on a mission. He was more motivated than I have ever seen him. After we talked and reviewed my charts he was determined to find out what is wrong. I told him that I am seeing a cardiologist next week. It turns out that it is the same cardiologist that he sees personally. He called the cardiologist from right there in the room and told him what he wants him to look for and what he wants done to me. Basically a stress test and a bubble test (which I guess involves a camera being sent down into me to look for a clot traveling between the ventricles).
He also ordered blood work to test for anything that could possibly cause strokes in a person my age (33). The list he wrote was comically long, everything from Lupus to arthritis to insert random condition here. They must have taken a quart of blood, all in easy to extract single viles.
He is sending me for an MRI (Monday morning at 6:30) because in his words "CT scans are a waste of time and money with conditions like yours, they show damage sure but they don't show much else". I have a follow-up with him on Tuesday at 3:30 to review the blood-work and MRI, then its off to the cardiologist for that bunch of fun on Wednesday.
Sounds like a fun week huh? At least I am planning to get away this weekend. My wife's birthday is this Friday HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!!! So I am taking her out of town. I'm not telling her where, but we are going to get away from home for a day or so and hopefully relax and recharge.
Tuesday I had an appointment with my normal neurologist. He is on a mission. He was more motivated than I have ever seen him. After we talked and reviewed my charts he was determined to find out what is wrong. I told him that I am seeing a cardiologist next week. It turns out that it is the same cardiologist that he sees personally. He called the cardiologist from right there in the room and told him what he wants him to look for and what he wants done to me. Basically a stress test and a bubble test (which I guess involves a camera being sent down into me to look for a clot traveling between the ventricles).
He also ordered blood work to test for anything that could possibly cause strokes in a person my age (33). The list he wrote was comically long, everything from Lupus to arthritis to insert random condition here. They must have taken a quart of blood, all in easy to extract single viles.
He is sending me for an MRI (Monday morning at 6:30) because in his words "CT scans are a waste of time and money with conditions like yours, they show damage sure but they don't show much else". I have a follow-up with him on Tuesday at 3:30 to review the blood-work and MRI, then its off to the cardiologist for that bunch of fun on Wednesday.
Sounds like a fun week huh? At least I am planning to get away this weekend. My wife's birthday is this Friday HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!!! So I am taking her out of town. I'm not telling her where, but we are going to get away from home for a day or so and hopefully relax and recharge.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
A Stroke of.....Just a Stroke
A bit ago, I wrote a post that touched on a bit of the medical stuff I grapple with outside of the gym. In this post (http://grappling-with-life.blogspot.com/2008/11/diagnosis.html) I talked a bit about my migraines and the mini-strokes I've suffered because of them.
Up until now, these events have come and gone without any real consequence. The T.I.A. (mini-stroke) happens, causes whatever effects and then within a few days everything is back to normal. Now, I have had a wide range of different symptoms result from these attacks; ranging from the most severe case of loss of speech, to the minor hassle of dizziness and disorientation. But the affects have always been temporary and cleared up within a few days.
Now, there has been a game changer. I just had another one this past week and unlike the others, it seems this time I did not emerge unscathed. I remember the moment of the attack. I remember the feeling of disorientation and dizziness. Then there was a numbness, weakness and tingling running down my right arm. It sort of feels like I slept on it wrong and it's now waking up.
After the dizziness and disorientation wore off, the feeling in the arm remained and I knew that I had just been thru another T.I.A. and the arm thing would be the lingering symptom. Like I said earlier, normally these things clear up after a few days....normally. Not this time. After about a week of feeling this same sensation I knew something was not as normal, so I went to the urgent care to make sure I was not in any serious trouble. I told the Doctor of my history and he sent me for the requisite Cat Scan. Now, I have had many Cat scans and MRI's because of this condition and they always end the same way, with the Doctor telling me that there is no lasting damage; to go home and everything should be ok in a few days.....not this time.
This time, the Doctor told me that I had two areas of infarction in the Basal Ganglia region of the brain. An infarction is a fancy term for loss of blood. This is where blood flow to these two areas was pinched off and they died. That's right two areas of permanent damage. The scary thing is in the fact that I have no idea what this could mean for the future. If I have a TIA in a region of the brain that controls vision for instance, I could permanently lose some or all of my sight. That is a frightening prospect.
I am hitting my doctors harder than ever now. I am determined to find the best answers I can. I don't know what this means for my BJJ. For now I think it means that don't know what it means. I know that my arm is bothersome and I am fearful of ALL blood chokes for obvious reasons. I know that my wife and neurologist have warned me away from it before. I know that I love it and I want to do it. I know I will do whatever I need to do.
Up until now, these events have come and gone without any real consequence. The T.I.A. (mini-stroke) happens, causes whatever effects and then within a few days everything is back to normal. Now, I have had a wide range of different symptoms result from these attacks; ranging from the most severe case of loss of speech, to the minor hassle of dizziness and disorientation. But the affects have always been temporary and cleared up within a few days.
Now, there has been a game changer. I just had another one this past week and unlike the others, it seems this time I did not emerge unscathed. I remember the moment of the attack. I remember the feeling of disorientation and dizziness. Then there was a numbness, weakness and tingling running down my right arm. It sort of feels like I slept on it wrong and it's now waking up.
After the dizziness and disorientation wore off, the feeling in the arm remained and I knew that I had just been thru another T.I.A. and the arm thing would be the lingering symptom. Like I said earlier, normally these things clear up after a few days....normally. Not this time. After about a week of feeling this same sensation I knew something was not as normal, so I went to the urgent care to make sure I was not in any serious trouble. I told the Doctor of my history and he sent me for the requisite Cat Scan. Now, I have had many Cat scans and MRI's because of this condition and they always end the same way, with the Doctor telling me that there is no lasting damage; to go home and everything should be ok in a few days.....not this time.
This time, the Doctor told me that I had two areas of infarction in the Basal Ganglia region of the brain. An infarction is a fancy term for loss of blood. This is where blood flow to these two areas was pinched off and they died. That's right two areas of permanent damage. The scary thing is in the fact that I have no idea what this could mean for the future. If I have a TIA in a region of the brain that controls vision for instance, I could permanently lose some or all of my sight. That is a frightening prospect.
I am hitting my doctors harder than ever now. I am determined to find the best answers I can. I don't know what this means for my BJJ. For now I think it means that don't know what it means. I know that my arm is bothersome and I am fearful of ALL blood chokes for obvious reasons. I know that my wife and neurologist have warned me away from it before. I know that I love it and I want to do it. I know I will do whatever I need to do.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
At My Desk; Remembering Helio and 100 Burpees
At My Desk:
Ok, so I've reached my breaking point, need to vent and this is my forum in which to do it. It has now been about three weeks since I have last trained. And I am going mad. As I type this I am sitting at my desk, yes that's right SITTING at my desk in cubicle hell. It is 5:33 pm right now and I wont leave here until at least 6:00 when guess what, BJJ class starts.
The past weeks have been murderous. I have mentioned before how the program I work on has been transitioning from one phase into another and with that change comes some intense increase in effort in the short-term to ensure that this new contract is being established correctly and will sustain the program throughout its lifetime.
That is all well and good, but the amount of time a hand full of us have spent on it (all salaried by the way) has been just crazy. We all worked so very hard to ensure that this new phase of the contract got awarded and now we are the ones who are charged with ensuring that it gets set-up. I guess the important thing is to take a step back and remember why I am doing this.
Ok, so I've reached my breaking point, need to vent and this is my forum in which to do it. It has now been about three weeks since I have last trained. And I am going mad. As I type this I am sitting at my desk, yes that's right SITTING at my desk in cubicle hell. It is 5:33 pm right now and I wont leave here until at least 6:00 when guess what, BJJ class starts.
The past weeks have been murderous. I have mentioned before how the program I work on has been transitioning from one phase into another and with that change comes some intense increase in effort in the short-term to ensure that this new contract is being established correctly and will sustain the program throughout its lifetime.
That is all well and good, but the amount of time a hand full of us have spent on it (all salaried by the way) has been just crazy. We all worked so very hard to ensure that this new phase of the contract got awarded and now we are the ones who are charged with ensuring that it gets set-up. I guess the important thing is to take a step back and remember why I am doing this.
Now, I can neither confirm; nor deny that I have anything to do with the image above or that all of the blood, sweat and time away from the gym has been spent on making it the best damn aircraft it can be.
Today however I am especially upset. Today it was all my fault. My alarms are set to go off at 4:00am. I awoke at 6:30 to the sound of my wife's alarm clock. Being that she is in a much less "forgiving" job, of course she gets the first shower. So, I didn't get to the office till after 8:00am. My still being here today is all my fault. And that infuriates me. I was sooo ready to get back to the mats today. So one flogging for me!
Memorial:
The last time I posted I wrote about the untimely passing of a former boss and colleague, Steve Barton. The very next day I went down to a memorial service for him. I was awkward to see old co-workers but at the same time it was very nice. It felt good to pay my respects and to recognize the impact he had on my career and on my life.
Helio:
On the subject of loss, of course I cannot write a post today without recognizing the passing of Grand Master Heilo Gracie. Like so many others, I never met the man but he and his brother Carlos have had a profound impact on my life. I remember watching UFC 1 on a videotape I rented from my first job (yes I was a video store clerk) and being amazed at this scrawny kid named Royce plowing thru the bigger guys.
From then on, I knew Gracie Jiu Jitsu, I knew Helio Gracie. Though I have only been formally training in his art for a short while, I have known of many of its fundamentals for years. As any martial artist in any other art must know the fundamentals of Gracie Jiu Jitsu. Helio and Carlos created a game changer, they forced a fundamental shift in the strategies that martial artists must use simply by knowing of the existence of this art. Thank you for your contribution Helio, I will do my best to honor your legacy.
Tomorrow:
Tomorrow is another day. I am donating blood at work in the morning. At lunch, we are doing an all you can eat sushi gorge to celebrate the winding down of a very long cost estimating class. I have a handful of meetings. Finally I have the second to last session of that aforementioned cost estimating class. As of this moment it is scheduled to run from 4:00 - 5:00. Optimism is high that it will not run over, and that I will make it to BJJ for the 6:00 start time (against the advice of the red cross who does not want you doing strenuous exercise after giving blood).
100 Burpee Challenge:
One more thing, a while back another blogger I read named Valerie (http://bjjvisionquest2006.blogspot.com/) who I highly recommend mentioned something her crossfit gym was doing and being the age of copy / paste, I have instituted it with my friends. Neil, Kris and myself have started the 100 Burpee Challenge. Today is day #1. Wish us luck! I will keep everyone posted on our progress as we go. Thanks Valerie for the idea.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Cardio, Weights and Loss
Home Gym (1/27/2009)
I left work late again tonight because a co-worker told me that he would be taking his son to Cedars Sinai tomorrow. His kid has been battling a heart problem all his young life and is facing the prospect of yet another surgery. So in order to support him and to get a critical report out on time, I stayed late (past the 6:00 BJJ start time) to get things wrapped up.
Cardio
So I went home and stuck to my guns. Since I couldn't scratch my BJJ itch I worked out in my home gym. I got on the treadmill and ran my little heart out. Now I generally have a rule about that. I DON'T RUN UNLESS SOMETHING IS CHASING ME!!! So, needless to say there will be no distances nor times posted here because they are quite embarrassing. The key point is that I got some cardio work done on a night that I would have previously written off.
Weights
After my running from nothing, I hit the weight machine and did an upper body circuit. I worked arms, chest and shoulders. I often joke that "I tried lifting weights once, but they're just so heavy". Honestly weight training has always been challenging for me. I find it tremendously difficult to get and stay motivated to do it. Tonight it was the work-out of last resort, so in a way I was "forced" to do it, and that helped me power thru it.
Bottom line I'm so glad I was able to stick to my commitment. Even though I missed BJJ, I did not falter in my plans. Normally, getting out of work and missing class would have derailed me. but tonight I was able to overcome it.
Loss
Tonight I also got a call from a friend and former co-worker that a former boss of mine passed away over the weekend. He had gone into the hospital with what he thought was a severe stomach flu. As it turns out, he had a severe and rare form of stomach cancer that was widespread and untreatable. By the end of the weekend he had passed. Steve Barton was only 62 years old and was looking forward to retirement this year. This kind of thing really makes you reflect on your own mortality and just how fleeting life is. It also makes you realize that things are not always as they seem; from stomach flu to untreatable cancer. You will be missed Steve.
I left work late again tonight because a co-worker told me that he would be taking his son to Cedars Sinai tomorrow. His kid has been battling a heart problem all his young life and is facing the prospect of yet another surgery. So in order to support him and to get a critical report out on time, I stayed late (past the 6:00 BJJ start time) to get things wrapped up.
Cardio
So I went home and stuck to my guns. Since I couldn't scratch my BJJ itch I worked out in my home gym. I got on the treadmill and ran my little heart out. Now I generally have a rule about that. I DON'T RUN UNLESS SOMETHING IS CHASING ME!!! So, needless to say there will be no distances nor times posted here because they are quite embarrassing. The key point is that I got some cardio work done on a night that I would have previously written off.
Weights
After my running from nothing, I hit the weight machine and did an upper body circuit. I worked arms, chest and shoulders. I often joke that "I tried lifting weights once, but they're just so heavy". Honestly weight training has always been challenging for me. I find it tremendously difficult to get and stay motivated to do it. Tonight it was the work-out of last resort, so in a way I was "forced" to do it, and that helped me power thru it.
Bottom line I'm so glad I was able to stick to my commitment. Even though I missed BJJ, I did not falter in my plans. Normally, getting out of work and missing class would have derailed me. but tonight I was able to overcome it.
Loss
Tonight I also got a call from a friend and former co-worker that a former boss of mine passed away over the weekend. He had gone into the hospital with what he thought was a severe stomach flu. As it turns out, he had a severe and rare form of stomach cancer that was widespread and untreatable. By the end of the weekend he had passed. Steve Barton was only 62 years old and was looking forward to retirement this year. This kind of thing really makes you reflect on your own mortality and just how fleeting life is. It also makes you realize that things are not always as they seem; from stomach flu to untreatable cancer. You will be missed Steve.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)