Lets Get This Party Started Right

Goal Setting (1/17/2010)

Ok, it’s the end of the second week of 2010. Really, 2010? We have only had two weeks in this New Year and already there is so much to report. It has been a busy year thus far and this is the first real chance I have had to be able to sit down and put virtual pen to virtual paper. Since this is my first post of the New Year and I have had some time to reflect I guess it is time to announce my goals to the community.

Recap of 2009:

January started off like I had hoped and expected. There was a lot of BJJ going on until I went back to work and then naturally it began to curtail as the grind resumed. Still, I was optimistic and feeling improvements for the first time in a long time. It might just be a good year.

Then in February I suffered two strokes within 24 hours. Those were strokes 4 and 5 respectively in my relatively short life. To my friends under 30, shut up. I’m still young…ish. Anyway, these strokes landed me in the hospital and shaped the rest of my year.

While in the hospital, I was diagnosed with a PFO, a hole in my heart that allows small clots, less oxygenated blood and other nasties to circumvent the normal filtering process and loop straight to my brain. Yeah, it’s as crappy as it sounds. Well at the end of April I had heart surgery. I was free to return to action in the gym around July. Needless to say, six months of NOTHING really took a toll.

I spent many a night in the fitness kickboxing class to rebuild cardio and strength. That was a long, tedious and sometimes frustrating process. I felt a great sense of accomplishment after each session and now I am so very glad I did it. I can really feel the difference and I know it has helped me to lay a foundation for this year.

I did do more and more BJJ toward the end of the year and I even got my second stripe. Finally. I have been training off and on since October 2007 and I am a two stripe white belt. I am not complaining, just stating the fact. During all that time I have had strokes and other medical problems keep me off the mats for long periods of time. I am so very optimistic that 2010 represents the first year ever in which I will have no substantial interruptions in training so I can get where I should be.

So with all the off the mat stuff in mind, lets take a look at the goals I set for 2009 and assess where I have made progress and where I have not. My comments as of now are in blue following the asterisks.

2009 Goals:

• Become a better BJJ player (Easy one eh?) *I think I did this one despite the odds
• Train more consistently *This one was impossible because of all my medical drama
• Attend minimum of 3 classes/week *As was this one
• Attend Open Mat more frequently (it rocks) *I did attend more sessions when I could
• Improve my guard game *This I fear was a point of regression
• Make the Triangle my go-to submission *Also one I was unable to work on
• Improve my conditioning *After 6 months off the mats and then 6 months of work; I feel that I am now better than ever
• Fitness kickboxing classes *I did a ton of these to recover and rebuild my cardio. It worked
• More cycling (Mountain / Road) *Only made it on a few road rides and NO mountain rides
• • Keep my head in the “right” place *I think the time off helped my mental game. I don’t freeze nearly as bad anymore.
• Get more photos during training *Not a single one
• Write more *I did write more, most though was chronicling my heart condition and surgery

So now that last year is over and all the medical stories have gone by the wayside I can take a look forward. I didn’t want to overanalyze my goals for this year I just want to take it as it comes and enjoy being able to train and train hard. So, with all that in mind, here are my goals for this year.

2010 Goals:

• Continue to Work on my Guard
• Work Hard Enough to Deserve Promotions
• Third Stripe
• Forth Stripe
• Blue Belt
• Train BJJ 3 Times/week (Minimum of 156 Sessions in 2010)
• Strength and Conditioning 4 Times / Week (Minimum of 208 Sessions in 2010)
• Visit and Train at 4 Other BJJ Schools
• Write More; 2 Posts / Week (Minimum of 104 Posts in 2010)

I think this is a doable list. In fact, I hope to add to it as the year progresses. Since this will be my first uninterrupted year of training, I don’t want to create a laundry list of unattainable items nor do I want to box myself in with a gaggle of restrictive goals. This is BJJ, we are supposed to be able to just flow right?

Now, keep me honest community. Hold me to the fire and help me attain these goals, help me to grow as a BJJ player and help me to grow this fantastic endeavor that has us all in its spell.

*PS: My original Professor, Kazeka Muniz is opening a new gym in Palmdale and I have left Fight Factory to train with him. The new facility will be as amazing as his instruction. So, if you ever find yourself in Palmdale California, stop by Premium Fitness and take a look.

Guess Who is Back

Ok, Ok. I have been a horrible blogger as of late. I will try to quickly sum up my reasons for not posting anything for a while and attempt to not whine in the process. If at any point this post begins to take on a whining, complaining tone, please reach thru your screen and slap me. Not to hard though please I have a meeting this morning.

So, my blog has undergone quite a metamorphosis. I have covered a wide range of topics. The blog started out as a training log and a place for me to vent my frustrations with the things that keep me from training, namely work. Then earlier this year when I had stroke number 5, it became a log of my journey to get healed. I documented my hospitalization wherein I learned that I had a PFO (hole in my heart). I chronicled my search for the right doctor to fix the issue, taking me from UCLA and finally to Cedars Sinai where I had my surgery on April 24th. I wrote about my procedure and recovery, my frustrations in being out of action for about six months of this year and finally I told the tale of my return to the mats. Very long story short, it’s been quite a year.

Last week my blog turned one year old. The one thing that strikes me as particularly funny is the fact that it has in many ways come full circle. Now it’s not my heart or a stroke keeping me off the mats but the same things I wrote about in my blogs inception. And frankly, isn’t that better? I think so. I am healthy. For the first time I am now living without the constant fear of migraines or of suffering another stroke. I had felt like a ticking time bomb over the past three years and now I feel as though I have permission to be optimistic, to live without limits. That is a pretty cool thing and I don’t take it for granted.

So here we are. I mentioned full circle, well here it is. Over the past month and change I have been working odd and inconvenient shifts in support of a special project at work. This has meant sometimes working from 10pm to 7 am or from 6pm to 4am or even 3 pm to 1am. You get the point; I’ve been all over the place.

I have not been totally inactive during this time. I have been taking a number of the conditioning kickboxing classes when possible and I have been at open mat on a few Saturdays, so not a total slouch. I did have a little scare though. Over the past few weeks I would occasionally get a slight chest pain during some of the more exertive moments of the conditioning classes when sudden bursts of strength and speed were required. Those pains would last throughout the remainder of the class and sometimes persist thereafter for a while. You can see why I had been hesitant to re-join BJJ lately as it is entirely moments of exertion of strength and speed.

So I contacted my wonderful Doctors and they assured me that all is well. I have my 6 month post-surgery checkup at the end of November so if anything is wrong we will find out for sure. Until then I will continue to try and get / stay in shape and listen to my body while doing so. Basically I am back, I plan to post like a madman and keep everyone updated.

Thanks to everyone who dropped me a line to make sure I was doing well because of my conspicuous absence in posting. I really do appreciate everyone’s concern. So now, you can get sick of me because I will be back to posting all the time.

One Month

Healing Milestone:
Well here we are. It has been one month (30 days) since my PFO closure operation. In many ways it feels like just a few days have passed and in others it feels like it has been so long. This is the first significant milestone in my recovery. This coming Wednesday (27 May) I have my follow-up where the doctors will take a look with an echocardiogram to make sure things are healing as they should. I will make sure to post my results as soon as I hear them.

PFO Migraine Stroke Group:
While I am on the subject of my PFO. Someone who read my blog pointed me in the direction of a new PFO Migraine Stroke group on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=106434738635 . The group is still small but hopefully it will grow to help people like me who are struggling with the same problem.

Random News:
I am hoping to start a separate blog for just my medical adventures so that when I return to the mats I can return this one back to its Jiu Jitsu focus while still continuing to write about PFO, Stroke and Migraine. I feel that these are issues that are just not discussed enough and It is my mission to help educate, inspire and guide people struggling with the problems that inhibited me for so long. Keep your eyes open for that new blog as my return to the mats draws near. Also, keep your fingers crossed for me as I go into my appointment on Wednesday, optimism is high.

Impatient Patient

Recovery Day: 19

As the title suggests, I can be a bit difficult at times. Most of the time, when it counts, I can be the picture of patience. I can outlast most people even in the most arduous of circumstances. I think that on the whole I have been pretty darn good in dealing with this impossible situation over the last three years; especially in the last six months when it became exponentially worse and kept me from doing many of the things I love.

So, now it has been about 6 months since I have hit the mats. Part of the reason I have been able to keep pressing forward without going completely mental is the fact that I had an enemy to fight. I had suffered a number of small strokes with at least two of them leaving their autographs visible only via MRI. I was suffering with numbness down my right arm and focusing on getting better and finding answers helped to keep me preoccupied and my mind off training.

On 9 March when I had two strokes within 24 hours and found myself in the hospital with a diagnosed problem, a PFO (hole in my heart) I suddenly had a new mission. Time to get it fixed. Once I get that bad boy all patched, all is good. Its back to action. I got my PFO fixed on 24 April 2009, just 43 short days after it was discovered.

Now I have no more battle. No more fight. I am feeling fantastic. There is however a long way between feeling and being. It has only been 19 days since my surgery. This foreign object that has been lodged into my heart has not had much time to settle in and begin get covered over by scar tissue. I am in that precarious spot between feeling awesome and being awesome.

I feel like I could jump right back into what I used to do, or at least back into SOMETHING, but as one of my doctors just confirmed for me....I can't. I am not supposed to do ANYTHING physically exhertive for at least one month following the surgery. Now that makes total sense in my head, but now that I am fighting no other battles and I don't have that to keep me preoccupied or worried, I am dying to get back in action.

I go back to see the Doctor for my one month follow-up on 27 May. At that appointment they will do an echocardiogram and inject some bubbles into my heart so they can see if the hole is sealed properly. Hopefully I will also get the green light to begin to gradually step-up my physical activity level. Cross your collective fingers for me!

Side note: Grappling with Life in Seattle
I am going to Seattle this weekend. My wife and I are taking a short vacation for no good reason other than we need one. We will be the stereotypical tourists doing all the tourist things but we will also be seeing my BELOVED BOSTON RED SOX trample the Mariners at Safeco Field on Friday night. If there are any must see BJJ tourist spots in Seattle, please send me a note!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Today is my Birthday. Well, not exactly. You won't find any note of it on my driver's license. Its not on my passport; nor is it on my birth certificate. So, as far as any "official" body is concerned technically today is just any other day, but symbolically.....today I am one week old.

The card I carry in my pocket provided by NMT (the company that manufactured the device used to plug the hole in my heart) lists the model number, serial number, lot number and the date....April 24th 2009. One week ago today. So the way I see it today deserves a bit of celebration.

Anyone who has followed my blog for a while, especially those of you who have read this since before I KNEW I HAD A HOLE IN MY HEART (that still freaks me out sometimes) will know that nostalgia is not my strong suit. I wrote about how new years resolutions tend to go by the wayside (http://grappling-with-life.blogspot.com/2009/01/goals-for-2009.html) and that I would rather make goals. So needless to say, I am finding myself struggling to find the proper perspective on this second chance at a normal life.

I don't want to be one of those whacked out people who suddenly sells off all their possessions, moves to a cave and contemplates their navel for the rest of eternity. On the other hand I don't want to be unappreciative either. This is a rather profound event in my life that very likely has saved my life. I feel a great responsibility to get things right, I feel like I need to be a voice for these issues. I feel like I need to be the best me I can be.

It fills my heart to know that this little blog has begun to help already. Some of you may have noticed the "For more information" contact bar that I added off to the right hand side. Shortly after my post about finding my PFO and adding that contact link, two people with conditions mirroring mine contacted me. Both of them had suffered strokes (one of them multiple times like myself), both of them had PFO's recently found and like me both of them were looking for answers. Because of this little blog, I was able to help. One of the two had their PFO closed TODAY by the very same doctor who did mine one week ago!!! I cannot express how good it makes me feel to know that I was able to help someone while on my own path to wellness.

This person never did BJJ, had never read my blog before. I was stumbled upon simply because they were googling the things I had written about. I know they will read this so when they do, I want them to know that I am so happy that they are also on the road to recovery and they better enjoy the journey....Happy Birthday!!!